take me to a world where doors are open
a lovely little place where no one is bruised or broken
a destination where not a single soul feels alone or unwanted

wishing upon the stars was something I always did
it gave a feeling of safety because these dreams where mine
I wished for simple things like a hug or just to see you smile
I wished for a kiss and sometimes for a little more of that
but the most important thing I wished for was your company
because in my own little world you were all I cared about

today was the first day of spring
I could see the sun staying with us longer, shining bright
I asked myself the question when will I see you again
maybe this monday or maybe never, it kills me to not know
we got lost in time and space and there is no inbetween

water fell down from the sky
like the tears that fell down on the floor
everything started to go down and she knew
even her favorite band could not save her out of this
this girl who was so close to recovery got lost again
the darkness called her named, an empty hole of lonelines
the scars on her wrist were her sign of being alive

but in the end she didn't care about her broken things
everything always was and always will be about you
because this kid made her world more beautiful and worthy

and so she wished upon the stars ..
for one last time..

Am I not enough?
I'm treated like an unloved,
Avoided of touch.

Trigger Warning:

I want to scrub my skin red and raw so I forget how it looked with the bruises you left on it.
I thought your eyes were lit with love for me,
but it was only lit with lust for my body.
When I said "No",
You heard "Yes"
You covered my mouth to mask my fears
and whispered "You want it" in my ear.

Three years later,
I walked around at night alone,
crossing city streets without looking for cars.
I ate less and smoked more,
Hoping someday the cigarettes would **** me.
Because I was already dead inside.

And just typing this my stomach is in knots,
Just like my hair was the day you left me by the road side.
And my hands are shaking,
Just like my legs where as I tried to walk back home that day.

I still flinch when a guy raises his hand around me,
and cringe when some guy makes a **** joke in class.
I still can't wear shorts without remembering how you got dirt on the ones I wore that day.

Baby clothes
With baby toys
Doctor says
   It's a boy!

Baby clothes
Little shoes
So very happy
Gateful news

Baby drama
Full of love
A baby boy
They dreamed of

It's Bryan ?
That's my name?
But I was born?
what a shame
      
It's a girl

We are the unwanted the ones who hid in the shade
We are the unwanted the few with a crimson glazed blade
We are the unwanted the left behind
We are the unwanted and we will no longer cry
We are the unwanted and today is are time

There's always that one guy,
That no matter what, you can never let go of him.
At nights, you're dreaming of the "impossible" day,
When all he sees is you.
And you can't help but fall for him,
Everytime you greet him.
You were always by his side.
Yet sadly, he saw you as just a friend.
One day you see him talking to her,
And you just shrug it off.
But then you notice the feelings between the two,
Intensify by the day.
And all you are,
Is an unloved stray.

Alone, cold, and mislead
is what it feels like to be unwanted.

After a while the feelings are accepted,well actually any feeling.

Maybe this was planned maybe if I keep going I will see a light.

Through this darkness I will come.
Feelings of acceptance creep in, slowly, but they still come.

Laughter seems so far away, like it is foreign where I am.

Where is that I ask? Why does it even matter because I know what darkness feels like.

I know what being unwanted feels like.

Because no one can help me now. Now that I know what it feels like and what it means.

Now I know what it means to be

                                              Darkly Unwanted.

the flash of a camera
is a tumultuous thing
a blink of light
a subtle ring
behind your eyes
as you blink in surprise
shying away
from the flash of a moment to stay
immortalized on the tiny screen
no guessing however unforeseen
you pull your cheeks
you face feels tight
only the smile you chose when you saw the white
in the blinding vortex
of a camera light