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Sam Edwards Feb 2015
Unwanted. Unloved.
I am human, yes. But I am not a person.
A person is someone. I am no one.
I am as significant as a grain of salt in the sea.
As missed as the first rain drop of the flood.
My own government has told me I am insignificant.
Unworthy of the protection given to my kin.
All because of who I am within.
I am not a person.
I am a sin.
A disease to be executed. Before I can infect.
A human with a defect.
I am unbeknownst to my brothers.
Walking up and down steps a stranger.
My true feelings unwanted.
I am needed for my smile,
Giving others sun, while drowning in denial.
So unloved that my own parents sit in silence.
Saying they don't want to hurt me,
While their unsounding words scathe deep.
Feelings as unexplored as fathoms,
forced to only steep.
Unprepared for the world,
Undecided in who I am,
Unwilling to admit, that I am unhappy.
I am an unperson. I do not matter.
Sitting alone, while my whole world is untethered.
I am unwelcome to this place, and to my mind.
Forced to leave unexpressed,
As my sanity is undefined.
Sam Edwards May 2014
Not Go
On living a
Lie made on the
Poorly laid bricks I
Constructed to hide my
Fragile heart. I must learn to
Let treasure seekers find the love
That I locked deep within my pyramid.
Sam Edwards May 2014
I am alone.
I am the one and only.
Me and my enemy, myself.

I cast my heart out too easily, afraid I'll never find the missing half.
When in my heart I know that if I never accept my own love, how can I expect another to do the same.

Thinking alone is a dangerous game.

My mind loves to think of strategies, little ways to cope. My mind also loves to trick itself, whispering of hope.

Am I meant to stand as one? Alone with my shadow, who is forced to stay connected? Meant to follow my heart's compass, which is always misdirected?

You can only walk a path alone so many times till the beauty starts to seem fake. You can only sing the melody so many times until you think that the harmonies you imagined were just unreachable dreams.

Dreams that once they pop, come unraveled at the seams.

I crave for touch. I long for comfort. I wish for understanding.
I want to fly and touch the sun, and never think of landing.

For once, though, I know my problem. I don't let people in, and if I can't heal myself, the problems come again.

I become so obsessed with fashion, wearing a mask that from the exterior, doesn't look forced or odd, but if they saw me for who I am, they would be quick to call facade.

I put up barriers: confidence and wit, but soon realize that not even the highest walls could protect me from the raging inferno known as my inner thoughts.  

I obsess, I manipulate, and I belittle myself in to thinking I know best, I write symphonies in schedules so I don't have time to think or rest.

But time does come, where the mirror will rise, and you can see straight through your smile, and all the other lies.

Most do not notice, perhaps they just don't care, few can truly detect the dullness of my stare.

That is not their fault, for I'm a learned man, I learned my part too well, for most people see my heaven, while I myself hide the hell.

I'll compress my feelings to lock them up, to protect myself, and to protect others. For I fear if I show others who I am, I will truly be alone.

I don't let people see, for my emotions are my demise, I'd much rather have my friends who love me for a happy half, then let them see my self despise.

It is a viscous way to live, I know. My worst fears are my own thoughts, fabricated by me, prepared for the drastic, so I can handle them if they come, like a flood that I know will never happen, but yet I still build an ark.

Prepared to walk alone, before the conflict even starts.

Alone is not my name.
But alone is how I feel.
The more I think alone,
the more that reality becomes real.

I cast my heart out too quickly, praying for a bite,
but not a soul comes biting leaving another lonely night.

I am lonely, I am broken, as my poem has shown,
Until I learn to trust and let others in,
I will always be alone.
Sam Edwards Apr 2013
A vast wide plain,
marked with waving wheat.
Sunsets of purest hues,
marking day's complete.

Hill of rolling flint,
dance with laughing flames.
Weather dances too,
never quite the same.

Some call us the heart,
with that this land agrees.
For freedom is the heart,
of this great country.

Free is the Earth,
where there's endless sky.
I see its sloping curve,
both continuous and wide.

No my friends,
you shall never find a truer place.
As Astra per Aspera,
and the brilliance of this great state.
Sam Edwards Dec 2012
When people ask me late at night,
Better to be assuming.
For I can almost guarantee,
I am hearing cricket's crooning.

If you ever look for me,
you don't have to look too far,
I'm on my back gazing,
looking at the brilliant stars.

If you ask me who's my friend,
I'll tell you he goes who,
To sit and listen for the owl,
to me is all but new.

If you need me to listen,
I'll lend an open ear,
I'll even hold your hand,
if you need to tear.

For on this tiny planet,
we can't be mean or cruel,
for we all just specks of dust,
easy to be fooled.

Orion was once a great hunter,
and now he hunts the sky,
and never will you ever ask,
the only question why.

So here I am a child,
In the scope of Earth,
wouldn't trade a single minute,
for the stars are my hearth.

Go outside look at the sky,
remember every star,
but of all remember,
remember who you are.
Sam Edwards Dec 2012
While you are asleep,
While you are only dreaming,
Ursa Major and Ursa Minor,
Forever they are scheming.

While you are awake,
you may think the world is one,
but Orion is still there,
in the sky he runs.

The stars may be replaced,
with puffy white laced clouds,
but Draco is till slinking,
far away the ground.

Even after all these years,
Cassiopeia is still vain,
still looking down on you,
through a window pain.

As the stars all swirl,
around the magnetic north,
Gemini still sways,
switching back and forth.

For even if we're sleeping,
even if we are awake,
the stars will always swim,
in a pitch black lake.
Sam Edwards Dec 2012
Venus and Jupiter,
recently in a dance,
while they slowly drift apart,
straining their romance.

Frogs in their ponds,
croak of the planet's love,
while stars are violently waltzing,
falling from above.

Venus is the brightest,
shining in the sky,
while Jupiter is drifting,
slowly becoming shy.

Although the two are massive,
they seem so far away,
they move a million miles,
easy in one day.

Venus and Jupiter,
dancing to a beat,
while they both waltz along,
gently on their feet.
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