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I miss the days
When I could just eat without thinking about it
Without counting the calories
Without shaking with guilt
Without feeling so awful that I shove my fingers down my throat just to pull it out
To remove the weight
To release the guilt and shame and food into the toilet bowl

The cold bathroom floor has become comforting.
Knowing that after kneeling down on it, my hands trembling
I'll lose weight
Haha I hate my brain i miss how it was before
GODNYX Oct 18
Degrading myself for entertainment bring's me joy
Talking down to myself bring's me pleasure
Which i never had with any women
My friend said women are something to mess with
I don't know if that's true
But my land lady, she is a beauty who came straight from heaven

I want to ravish her
I want to degrade her
To drag her by legs into my world
But that feels like a crime
I am a criminal
Punish me
I am a sinner
With a mind gone rouge
I cannot think straight i am sick with vulgarity
My hands feel empty Is that why she doesn't **** with me?
But can with my friend
Who is a dog walking around streets for food?

Maybe she muses animals
I know she has a loose ****
I should focus my mind somewhere more productive
Where i can do something
Where my mind can stop wandering in the day light
But the dawn light
Isn't that inviting criminals?
To ravish women like slaves
I am sorry. i don't know why wrote something like this but i feel like a dog. i shouldn't be alive. i am sorry if anyone felt offended
Priyal Sep 3
She never felt she belonged
So read and tried to pretend
She buried herself in a book
Where she could drift
‘Till she was beckoned

Her heart aligned to the character
She felt their pride and pain
Her queen of snow and winter
After she closed the pages
her mind remained

She created worlds in her head
Imagination was her best friend
At night she’d Lie in bed
To a whole different world
In which she’d ascend
Jeremy Betts Aug 14
Am I drunk on the thought of you,
Or drunk trying to erase it?
Let's face it
We can probably trace it
Back to a certain night or two
After a couple shot turned into that plus a few
And pinpoint hindsight warnings of why we shouldn't have chased it
"Why did we decide to continue?"
While standing in the midst of it
Neither of us knew
No wait, that's bull $hit
Mixed with cow poo
So much more than not a good fit
Too dysfunctional to keep it basic
Far too broken,
Or stubborn,
To replace it
The end was nearer than the beginning of this reckless trek
Like some kind of voodoo hex preformed in a parents basement,
A bad magic trick
Or joke gone cosmic
We knew it
Because we saw it
Even enjoyed living it for a hole second
Go collect your winnings if you bet we couldn't
Because we couldn't,
We blew it
Though the end was nothing new
It barley brought any blue
But still we pretended we had no clue
Of course that isn't true
It was coming right for us, and quick
Tried to sneak around it,
Then tried dodging it,
There was no jumping out of the way last minute
We never had a chance and had to admit it
We weren't equipped to brace for it
Now we get to pay for it
But these days, who can afford it?

©2024
Elle May 23
Happiness passed by
So long ago
But the grass looked greener
In scorched fields
And now I wallow
Across dry barren earth
snipes Apr 17
I haven’t been happy
since I heard your voice
leave me
Left alone in the desert of the weak
Here I stand wishing I had more time
But in the life of the sandpit
eventually all the castles get tarnished
Falling Up Apr 16
I simmer in the anger
It surrounds me and
Brings life to a boil
Stretches the rubber band
Pulls back on the string of the bow
Hits the bottom of the bungee jump
Gets ready to fire the catapult

And SNAP

It leaves in red hot flashes burning with built up resentment
It snaps and cuts and hurts the innocent
Rather than the stokers of the fire
It slashes and leaves hollow emptiness
In a space once burning with the desire to
Scream
Yell
Lash
Hate
Thunder

A space burning to let go.
Zywa Jul 2023
But in retrospect,

I wasn't really unhappy --


It didn't mean too much!
Novel "De laatste kans - De geschiedenis van een liefde" ("The last chance - The history of a love", 1960, Simon Vestdijk), chapter 2-2

Collection "Inmost"
Man Jun 2023
Some, is too little
And more is never enough.
Your chalice spill, an overflowing cup
You would still moan
For a top up
Kushal May 2023
Pity me just a little.
So, I can lie to myself that you understand.
...
I could do with a helping hand.
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