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Lake Sep 2019
the forecast says that it will rain
but right now the sky looks the same
we might not even see grey clouds
but let's not worry about that now

cause the rain will come one day
but that day is not today
and i'm not trying to delay
don't you get me wrong

i know i can't pretend
i know that it all ends
when it slips away from my hands
i hope i'll be gone

keeping safe in the meantime
that's a tape you can't rewind
don't know what tomorrow brings
can't let go of anything
Meadow Sep 2019
Uncertainly still lingers in the cracks of my future, but I am feeling so full.
So full of goodness and growth.
Optimisims and joy
I've grown so much from the me just a year ago.
I speak now.
I can speak.
Ive been gentle with myself, and allowing of rest.
I am feeling so full of acceptance and self- love.
Something I thought I didn't deserve.
Some days are so hard still, but I remember when I sat down in therapy the first time, and cried my eyes out begging to be healed and that I felt so broken.
Irreparable.
The words cut at my throat as I released them.
I never thought I'd make the growth that I have so far.
I feel like a full being.
I feel healed and capable of healing.
To all of you in rough times of stagnation or the cold swift waters of change
It will be ok.
Allow yourself time.
Change comes like warm water.
Unnoticed until submerged.
Raw 10 minute brain dump.
Thank you
austin Sep 2019
Loneliness.
Just my shadow sits beside me.
Monotonous.
Not even the birds, nor the bees.

Uncertainty.
I don't think I'll ever change.
Insanity.
My God, I'm so deranged.

I need something to keep me sane
I don't know what it is
I just know I am not the same
Such a shame it is.

I think I dropped my feelings
in this well of murky black
I hope someone can help me find them
before I have a heart attack.
eusamez Sep 2019
The beating of the drum
The tidal wave crashing down
The rumbling of the earth’s crumb
Is felt in every heart beat

That thump in your chest
The lost mind can wander
It envelops you in distress
Every detail you ponder

That creeping sense called emotion
It scares you out of your wits
Thinking of what the future holds
Throws all your sensibilities into fits

The thing that is most fearful
Is when anxiety becomes your friend
It becomes your daily companion
The only who can comprehend.
Andra Sep 2019
home is where it wasn’t home.

home. it felt more like a place but felt like home when leaving.

home is my brother and his blue eyes.

home is can you make me breakfast and watch TV with me?

home is the hot soup grandma makes.

home is Janis Joplin singing.

home is where birds are chirping dancing.

home is that door never closing.

home. is that door open anymore?

home is Venus… and my cosmos.

home is red and red was home.

home is where it wasn’t home.

home is where i wish was home.

home? where is home anymore?
Logan Aug 2019
I understand the fragility of relationships.
Far more volatile than supernovas:
At the very least stars mature before their final flicker.
Relationships on the other hand can fade, or collapse at any moment.
For this reason alone I hold you like it’s the last time.
In truth, it might be.
The Tinkerer Aug 2019
These feelings fall like tidal waves.
They're a beauty, so why do I suffocate?
Overwhelm me, I just can't escape,
It's dark, so here, I send up a flare.

It's hard, to keep my flair.
Buried within the world's glares.

I'm making me work,
A body, no head.
Pushing.
Might I have failed?
To accept I'm way too scared.

Letting my world down, myself.
After all I've done, all I've said.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't sad.
My dreams, I know they aren't dead,
In folds, they hid instead.

Don't know why this mount I can't climb.
God knows, for long I've tried.
Blown my integrity, I have no more pride.
I wish I could take this in my stride.

Down the barrel of this gun, I stare.
Not knowing where from here I fare.
No options, no allies.
I don't want this to be just a souvenir.

I'm tired, I'm drained.
These tidal waves,
Where do you take me?
Where?
Brought on through stress and the song Purge by bas.
Good name. After purging this here, my headache's subsided.
I'm able to breathe.
It's all still uncertain, come Monday, where I will be. But I need to see what I can do for all of this.
Just give me the options that may work, please. Show me a way.
I still love what I do, I've managed to just hit a wall I can't get through.
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