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uncertainty is more certain
than certainty. certainly,
a raindrop falls downward
and the sun rises as the
rooster crows but it's the
uncertainty where you discover
the valley - the place that reassures
you that hope is alive. and hope
has a name, a name that leads you
in the mystery, from mountain top
to mountain top; a map that
your eyes cannot see, a road
that is not paved but,
there is a hand reaching out
and a voice saying,
"I've come to walk with you,
will you trust me?"
My dear,
What have I done?
After a year of
everything we've been through
I've grown so cold and so depressed.
Yet you were still there.

You come home for me.
After a tiring day
of teaching stubborn children;
To come to me,
Who is even more stubborn
Than they are.

"You're not any of those things!"
Or, "Don't say that to yourself!"
I never listened.
"Please don't say that
Just to be nice to me."
I constantly replied.

O, what have I done?
I felt you crying
yourself to sleep
Just right beside me.
Did you still love me,
Or did you only feel pity?

I'm stubborn,
And I lacked trust
Yet you insulted those people
Who made me lose it.
You're way too good to me.
I didn't deserve you, kind dear,
And you didn't deserve an idiot like me.
What have I done, my dearest
To make you cry this way?
The third of my series "The Heartaches"...

...Tell me, why are the third ones of a series always the ones that turn dark?
silvervi Sep 20
Trust forever
An impossible mission
Whenever I am trying
I simply fail miserably

Can't imagine to break free
Without to lose connection
Two parts within me
Split apart forever ?

Dreaming
Such romantic dreams
All the time
It's all in my head,
It seems.
04/2024
Bekah Halle Sep 18
Right and wrong.
Black and white.
Giving voice to the darkness
Being open to the light.
Uncertain.

I’ve lived my life
Wanting certainty.
I’ve lived my life
unable to handle uncertainty;
Wanting to stay out of strife.

Fear of the terror in the night,
I tried to be the ‘good girl’
Fear of stepping out of place
I worked out the rules
And stuck to them uncertainly.

Lord, you see all things,
Please help me understand.
Lord, you know all things,
Please help me to stand.
Because I crumble in uncertainty.

Confusion reigns,
Doubt appears.
The terror increases,
Inadequacy jeers.
Uncertainty.

Argh! I cry out to you,
Please show me the way,
Lease reveal the truth,
Just as you rested, on that seventh day.
Certainty.
Ayesha Zaki Sep 18
What path in this warren of life,
made you go from affection
in everything you said,
to disdain in your nostalgic eyes?

The promises we uttered,
expecting to keep them for eternity and after;
now dissolved in the acid of your treachery.

Was it just me who had that intention
of never leaving until the end of time
or, were they merely just a game of your deceit?

The mirage of your trust and insistence
of partly carrying my burdens,
as I did for you,
now reduced to ashes
from which an ember lowly emits in its wake.

The very envisage of us being,
that would hush me too a deep repose
on sleepless nights;
now keeping me up until dawn.

Perhaps,
it was my fault
for expecting so much.

For assuming you were
the one friend I'd needed,
in this deep, hollow concept of living.

I suppose what I'm better off with
is a barren version
of the shallow expectations concerning
human existence.

Often times, I reckon,
what would be of us
if we hadn't strayed apart to divergent voyages.

It is as though,
due to the circumstances uncalled
or our fraying nexus of connection,
we just weren't meant to be.
Why did you have to change?
silvervi Sep 17
Im Ozean des Vertrauens tanze ich, schwebe ich, verliere kurzfristig den Halt und finde ihn wieder,
Der Ozean ist endlos, nur die Sicht kann ich verlieren, aber die Ruhe kehrt wieder ein, sobald ich loslasse...
Ich schwebe und schwebe und es ist ruhig, still und klar um mich herum. Ich sehe dann, dass es sich ausbreiten möchte.
Der Ozean ist und war immer sicher für mich.
Die innere Panik hatte mich verunsichert und den Ozean gefährlich erscheinen lassen.
Ich darf hier atmen. Ich kann mich bewegen. Ich werde mich nicht verirren. Ich bin und bleibe frei.
Mit dir. Und das ist ein Wunder, das ich hiermit zu würdigen und zu fassen versuche.
Ich bin hier. Ich verbinde mich mit meinem Herzen. Das ist alles, was es braucht.
Du schwebst auch. Du und ich zusammen im endlosen Ozean-Universum.
Es fühlt sich immer leichter an, je mehr ich loslasse. Das ist Vertrauen für mich.
Loslassen. Hier sein. Glauben. Wissen. Fühlen.
Wie es sich anfühlt, endlich zu vertrauen und frei zu sein.
I waited for the boy in you
To become a man that was true
Until my bones started rusting
Until my soul stopped trusting.

I died for your arrival
I died for the survival
Of a love we both promised
You left me be uncherished.
Turn the **** of the unknown,
Putting fear in the dirt
Knowing trust is far more valuable
Than the tricks of the enemy.
Karma Oct 31
To see is to lie,
I’ve Closed my eyes
To truthful cries they tell.
No one to trust,
Deaf ears save rust,
In darkness, lone I fell.
To hell I’m cast,
I’m falling fast,
I feel awfully cold.
Suddenly, limbs,
They wrap my chest
It’s from they I wish to hold.
Their arms of warmth,
Are arms to trust,
At least, that’s what I’m told.
At least, that’s what I’m told.
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