(sung to "If I Only Had a Brain/Heart/Courage" song from the Wizard of Oz)

I'm a ****** *******,
altho I seem quite merry,
I am always causing strife.
I've a rot for a banana,
But I'd smoke the whole Havana,

if I only had a LIFE!

I just love to cause division,
By other's lives derision,
I'll cause gossip to be rife!
It don't matter! I am toothful,
I don't claim to be that truthful,

If I only had a LIFE!

I would love ta get ta know ya,
But I smoke like Krakatoa,
You could cut it with a knife.
I will put it in my ashtray
And conclude another entry

if I only had a LIFE!

I've no girlfriend, it don't matter,
I'm as loony as a hatter,
I will never have a wife.
I've a teeny weeny shooter,
Can't make love to my computer,

IF I ONLY HAD A LIFE!!


SoulSurvivor
(C) 12/20/2015

Yep.
They're out there.
Pens ablaze.
Out to startle
and amaze.
Quite adept at
turn of phrase.
Leaving people
in a daze.
Set the fire.
Smoke's a haze.
The arsonist's
pernicious ways.
Before you know it
reps are razed.
Even tho my
flank is grazed
I won't worry.
I'm unfazed.
Don't base my worth

*upon your praise.

Where are you, O valiant knight,
riding on your quest?
Capturing your deadly foe,
your metal for to test...

O'r the mountains lies the dragon,
secure within its lair.
It's gloating over victory...
it ate the maiden fair!

And so you mount your steed,
silver glinting from your spurs,
sally off to slay it...
avenge the death of her!

Oh! Is not this dragon beautiful?
Yes! An AWESOME prize!
With crystal wings and citron scales
and sapphires for eyes!

Emeralds on its sloping breast
rubies are its claws
fangs of alabaster
line it's fiery maw...

Perfumed incense, spicy smoke,
from its mouth a butane flame...
Once you've tried the dragon once
it is hell to tame!

Have you your armor fast secured?
Does the visor block your view?
You may chase the dragon
or it could be chasing YOU.

When will you turn and rend it?
Tear the ***** APART?
Strap your lance to your steed
and pierce it to its HEART?

Now, if you are victorious
you still must have a care...
for its blood is virulent
that cup you must not share!

You could quick behead it.
Mount it on your wall.
But it could poison you instead...
my! How the mighty fall!

So ride off in the sunset.
Leave the dragon where it fell.
It will slowly rust away...

and blow back into HELL.


SoulSurvivor
(C) 12/19/2015

"I'm in trouble aren't I?"
"You have no idea..."

"Wanna know something?"

"Are you going to say the same thing,
Like you do every time?
You know.. if you hadn't done this...
Sort of thing?

"Save your breath mate,
I've heard it all before
Why don't you say something new,
Instead of parroting the same **** every time?"

"Like seriously,
Why are you even talking to me?
You wanna gloat don't you?
"Haha, you've been caught and I win".

"Well ******* *******,
I'm not hearing it
Why don't you leave me alone
And go choke on a bucket of ****."

PROSE FOR ALL PEOPLE
CONSIDERING SUICIDE.

The last month has been torture.
I've tossed and turned at night.
I've been begging God just to take
me Home... then MAD at Him for not
answering my plea.
My body is wracked in pain.
My life is a dead-end.
My dreams are shattered.
But now I know why He did not...

This morning my 90 year old
father was choking. He hardly made a
sound as the breath left his body. I don't
know how (God?) but I KNEW something
was terribly wrong. I went over to see
what had me so disquieted in his regard.
He was gesturing to me frantically...

This had happened before. We both knew
the drill. As I put my arms around him
from behind and began the upward jerks
of the Heimlich maneuver, his arm got
caught in the mechanism of his power-
chair. We began to do a sort of a gruesome
dance... his body struggling not to die...
mine to bring it life...

I screamed at my mom, who was in
her room, "Call 911!!! Dad's choking again!"

I applied pressure to his solar plexus,
just under his ribcage by lifting him firmly.
With each motion saying a calm prayer... "Not today, God. Not today. He's going to LIVE. Today... in Jesus' Name. AMEN."

Then my father spit up the eggs which
had been lodged in his windpipe. His
breathing was ragged. But became regular.
No ambulance would be needed today.

As I looked at the wizened little old man
in the power-chair I realized something.
I had not saved HIS life as much as
HE had saved

MINE.

I may not be much or have much.
But I have him
and my family to help out.

I may never realize my dreams. But God
will always give me another day to try
to live them... a precious Gift...

LIFE.

SO WHO AM I TO THROW THAT GIFT
BACK IN HIS FACE?

So think about it. Perhaps later today
you may see a child run out in front
of a car... and pull him back. Maybe
you'll find a frozen starving kitten...
you'll smile and put a dollar in the hand
of a homeless person who was ready
to give up til your act of kindness made
him reconsider...

Who knows?

The life you save....


SoulSurvivor
(C) 12/17/2015

When two black wheels crashed into four
Two legs stretched out behind a silver door
He lay, pinned down on the dusty road
Clawing at her face in vain, he choked.

My conscience asks, "What troubles you more?"
"The mask of anger that she wore?
The circle of people watching the show?"