I have been in search of the self of self’s
to end the war being waged inside,
for years now between the masks I hide
I’m a son to the trees and seas.
I’m a brother to those that bother, and
those who are blind to color
I’m a student to whomever wants to teach.
I’m a lover of words, and hope that bloom in a rose
I’m a believer in the shadows that move between spaces.
And the sweetness heard in the soul and seen in the sky.
I am a lover of who yells “keep the peace.”
I am he, who sometimes does not practice what he preach,
he who sometimes could not tame the devil at bay,
and so he comes out to play.
I am he who stalks life with blindfolded anger and say “why have you forsaken me?”
I am he, a true believer of God and the hereafter.
A sinner who can’t shake off the temptations of life,
he who knowingly dances at the edge of his knife, and
he who must answer for his crimes, his crimes, his crimes
for his waste of time,
The lies! The lies! The lies!
I am he, who sits alone in a dark room,
A dark house,
A dark world,
thinking about death,
being exhaustingly terrified of death,
sometimes wanting to die but knowing his hereafter isn’t as………
I am the student that sits on his hands,
who doesn’t do **** and probably won’t amount to ****.
I get scared not because it’s a scary world, which it is, but
because of the people in it.
Not people with big guns, sharp knives, hulkish anger issues, or
people in power doing bad things.
Because of my dad, my moms, my brothers, my sisters, my teachers, my lovers, my friends, tax payers,
I get scared because this tower of dreams
I’ve been put in
It will crumble,
these shoulders of mine will brake badly
I have been anticipating and fearing the pain.
While I was it came and came not with fear.
It came and all became clear
Simplicity is a hunger that cannot be satisfied.
No one knows my secrets except the shadows I lay with.
