There's no satisfaction
In the pain
That courses through me
There's no enjoyment
In the happiness
That in your eyes
I can see
There's no love
In my heart
That breaks daily
There's no one
In my life
That I can see
There's no hope
In my future
That will show mercy
There's nothing
Left in this world
That can make me **happy

1 cup Misery
2 cups Heartache
2 1/2 tbsp Tears
3 tsp Death
4 cups Loss
A pinch of Hope
3 Kids (separated from me)
1/2 a Heart
1/4 cup Silence
6 cups Poetry
Whisk together for 5 minutes
Add 1 cup Solitude
Stir until well blended
Bake in a plastic bowl for 24 hours
Do not remove for 3 months
Throw remains in trash

Ravaging through me
    is an untold destiny
I cannot foresee
      what's gonna happen
But I know what I need
       I need love
It keeps escaping me
            I'm lonely
   I cry constantly
I can't write anything
        Cause I can feel my soul breaking
    I've lost everything
      my heart keeps breaking
I really don't want any pity
   I'm truly not deserving
but my God does this hurt like hell
      I'd just like for one good thing
to happen to me
        SOMETHING
ANYTHING
cause I can't handle losing
    One more thing
   everything I care about
has been stolen from me
     a string of bad luck
Doesn't even begin to describe
   the agony that surrounds me
I'm desperate for something
      GOOD.... PLEASE
I'm asking Fate
    the Universe
Karma
        God
Mother Nature
     Anyone Please
Whoever is making my life filled
      with misery
I'm begging you
          PLEASE
   I can't handle anymore
You've officially brought me
       to my knees
I've cast my pride aside
        all dignity has left
I'm BEGGING
      PLEADING
        Please
Just finally let me be happy



I think I've forgotten
     what happiness feels like

Why?
How can I feel this way?
I feel myself
Losing you
Pushing you away
Purposely
Like, just talking to you
Is torturing me
Yet, I need you
WHAT THE **** DO I DO?
I don't wanna hurt anymore
I want the pain to go away
I don't know what I'm living for
I don't know how I got this way
How do I say
THIS IS TOO MUCH TO TAKE
To handle
To deal with
Torn, ripped in directions
I never thought existed
Expectations
Non granted wishes
ALL FOR NOTHING
Cause I'm still broken
Not even worth fixing

But you
You're worth so much more
None of the guilt
None of the shame
Is worth anything
**** IT ALL
Just forget my name

I
    Keep
Clawing
       Away
   But
        You're
   Still
In
     My
  Head

The shimmering light has died
         The image of you slowly
                    fades out
I will cry,
       I am crying,
                I have cried.
The darkness consumes the doubt
                The hail Mary,
        the pass over the line
    It's too much,
             I can no longer reach out
This knife is too pretty
         and *I'm not fine

Embarrassment soars through me
Since last night and all this lonely day
I don't wanna make you feel worse
But it's your fault,
Just cause you didn't have the nerve to say
The Truth
Yet, that's all I've ever said to you
Open and honest, straight to my core
I'm not sure I've felt this betrayed before
A best friend if there ever was,
But they say those you love can hurt you worse
Than any enemy or anyone you hate
I think I loved you first
But it don't matter now, isn't that great?

And still...

"No matter what you say or what you do, when I'm alone I'd rather be with you. **** these other ******, I'll be right by your side, till 3005."

Whether in love or simply friendship
I could never leave your side
It's crazy how much you mean to me
I'm still hurt and so very angry
I understand why you did what you've done
Doesn't mean that I think it's okay
But I'll still love and care about you
Until my dying day

Because...

"No matter what you say or what you do, when I'm alone I'd rather be with you. **** these other ******, I'll be right by your side, till 3005."

I can't hate you, even though you think you deserve it
And I can't deny that's true
But whether you like it or not
You're stuck in my heart with super glue
But seriously...
Don't ever ******* lie to me
Or keep secrets from me
I don't deserve it
Silence is better than *******...