"As I think in my heart, I may be."
Said me, not he, that I heard or read, but
Glance back, find the first whole Earth image.
{Stewart Brand Idea Virus archeo beta}
He asked for that,
an instance of what, here, is called prayer.
Here for now is the realm of mere words.

A quest ion caught in an acid-ified knowing state.

Now, the novelist of honed most minds, mine
and others worn wise with friction finding twists

tried widdershins thus stripping the threads,

twist and shout,
work it on out./ schemer's dreamers meet, by
the by, by and by we all recall the joy of knowing

peace is planted for the future in our pasts,
we can examine our times and find pools of good
vibe being beaten into the trails we all trod,

looking for God, and all the promises
we could see reading the AV, after presses allowed.

Hyper-text was on Brand's mind in 1969,
his infected mine… no, Tet, but 1969,
'swhy I said don't say '68.
struggle
to fit coincidence
to the scale
of that blue-brown-white ball, kid fist size

world, once believed by almost any child
exposed to the Wayne Newton Success Story,
s
Napoleon Hill, if we do recall the course,
common to many in the generations urbanized,
superfluous consume abilities demand consumption.

Sump sayings rise yep, toll, extol SYFT the conceptual
essence of peace you can get a grip on, all's well
t'ax
peace on this earth we can imagine in your fist.

i used to know all your best friends,
just so you know
we used to giggle together in intimate classrooms

     but forget that, right?

i forgot the richness of politeness
the sweat dripped off my body
and your eyes dazzled like crystals.
a rose grew from the slight smile on your lips.
you awakened a fight or stay response in me

you reached out and touched my palms
and yours were not hot coals as i expected them to
be
they were violet and soft and smooth and moisturized
you didn’t have the crocodile disposition i dreamt you would

i felt like an animal that accidentally broke the glass of its confinement
and didn’t know what to do
with the scattering crowds and screaming children
so it just ran.

in your arms,
you caught me.
not too harshly,
but so i felt safety.

i owe you some serious debt for giving me
the simplest little smile along with
the tiniest little gestures

the claws of the lion dug into my spine,
razor-sharp and cruel

i didn’t deserve the kindness you showed me
i was scared you would hate me if i talked to you,
i didn’t know what to do.
the roses wilted inside my palms
as they stayed clumped from under the weight of my hands.

i pray that you blossom in your future
and i aspire to give the same kindness
as you have gifted to me.

A bow or a smile
Which ever I pursue
Id go on for a while
To try and thank you

Faith in unknowns are tough
But, through your leadership,
I have emerged,
Thank you,
for allowing me to spread my wings
Thank you,
For being my guiding wind

This place is where I find liberty Exists
No one knows me
I know no one
A perfect place to
say what we feel,
what we desire,
When life is unbearable and tries to break me from every nook and corner,
I come here and blabber my heart out,
What would have been my life
Without this place.

Living on with a smile,
Transmuting in unknowing,
Swimsuit ready for more suffering,
What a chance! What a circus!
At an end, I say thanks.

I, who have blinked,
And glad to have felt
bed sheets and petals and melancholy moods,
And my god! The blossom and the sadness of falling,
Wretched cold,
Pain of poverty
And power too.
What a life! What a moment!
To it all, I say thank you.

And birds, many times my soul knew you,
And dirt, on my hands grounding my mind,
Dear trees, in my solitude you were always so kind,
What a world! What a time!
I'd live again, rewind.

Oh lucky me
I have my friends
I have beginnings
I have my ends
I have control
I have my head
I have my roof
My door and bed
Oh lucky me
I have been blessed
With time to work
And time to rest
Food to eat
And wine to drink
And time to just
Sit down and think
Oh lucky me
I have the love
Of my mother & father
And those above
I have their knowledge
When I fret
Because I ask
And so I get
Oh lucky me
I have so much
That I can just
Reach out and touch
And even though
This is all mine
There is more to come
How divine

i talk like a blinding light
  i shoot my opinions out like rockets
not asking, “do you want to hear it?”
   and i hate my voice as much as myself
            and i hate my opinions
hate my face
hate my bones
hate the way i’m obsessed with you
hate the way i’m clueless around clusters of stable fairies
hate the silence when i want to speak
hate my tongue
hate my clothes
hate my beliefs
hate my friendships
hate that i hate my friendships
hate the way i crave laughter
hate the way i ruin moments
hate the rawness of emotions
hate when i run into doorways
hate awkwardness when i can’t hear a word
hate waiting
hate the way the sun shines like a bullet
hate the social interaction
hate everything
          but i don’t hate the boldness
  the flavor that you bring me
         cause before i ate warheads
    and called them sweet like the only word in my dictionary
    but now i’m indulging in candy
  it tastes so bittersweet
             because i didn’t know anyone could love me like i wasn’t a disease
    like i wasn’t an ant to step on
    or a watermelon seed to spit out
                           and i thank you
      because it’s almost been a year
     and you make me hate myself a little less.