This night is painted in pastels.
The colors still stained on the tips of my fingers.
The blending of bodies still tattooed on my bed where you left.
You whispered to close your eyes.
But I have never been more awake.
You asked me if I ever practiced breath work.
Marrying your lips on the outline of mine.
Every move instinctual.
A love language we both have forgotten but is now muscle movement.
Your breath filled the places where all the love once abruptly left.
Turned the hollowed-out chest of mine into a room of butterfly’s.
I breathed a wish of a lifetime into once single breath.

i know these memories with you are the ones i will cherish
for once i have a memory so tangible
that when i look back to smile at it
all the emotions return too
i not only smile at the memory but i relive the entire moment
i will never not be thankful that you entered my life
through the pains and the joys
and the heavens know its been the slowest journey
our friendship
but what a journey it's been

every day, a new memory, a whirlwind of emotion
looking back like flashing images
the day we dashed across the busy road
our legs shaking from laughter
the day you held my hands and put your head to mine and i truly
in that moment i truly understood literature
and what it is meant when people say they feel like
the world has stopped and they are the only one's in it
for that is what happened
and when i see your face it certainly brightens up the room
when you goof around and play your silly games with me
it warms my heart
when we have our inside jokes and we're leaning against
one another trying to hold in our giggles
so that others are not alarmed
when you choose to sit next to me in a room of people and
when you confide things in me

i still don't understand all these feelings coursing through me
but i do understand one thing
you have taken a total eclipse of my heart
i am content with our friendship
and i hope i never lose you

Grat i tude

is the color of
green living things

of green giving things

with reaching vines
and stable roots

and shaded leaves
but just enough light

saying thank you
thank you
thank you

for giving me
what i need

Forgiving doesn't always take away the pain
As if washed away by some mythical rain
Generously applied truth is the only salve
Duel-edged and sharp enough to cut us in half
Pain-reaction, recoil, trauma response
Defensive action, budding trust is lost
This is normal human behavior
PTSD drains, Hope is savior
Catalyst for anxious dread
Water in the desert when nearly dead
Grateful hands lift life to lip
Thankful for the sandiest sip
Kindness inspires compassion and understanding starts
Enlightening dark corners in sun and healing the heart

I'm sorry I don't say this much.
I would like to thank God, Couldn't imagine having another Mom.

You see I been watching and thankful

Your sacrifices and your unconditional love

Today I would like to say
I don't know where I be if not for you

Today I couldn't stand if not for you
Showing me I was strong

Today and the rest of my tomorrows
I know that I have a loving mother
None the less doting to call my mum

For today let me just say thanks for loving me and having me as your son

                                               To Mom
                                               Your #1 fan

I am thankful

For all the difficult times,
that revealed to me,
how strong I could be.

For all the toxic people in life,
Who taught what exactly,
I would never turn to be.

For all the hurdles in my ways,
that showed there is always
an alternate route to chase.

For all the flopped plans of mine,
that unveiled the new beginnings
awaiting the perfect time.

For all the failures that showed,
Temporary has been all dismay
& life has to move on, anyway.

For all the successes just for a while
Exposing the naked jealousies,
camouflaged as smiles.

For all the disappointing moments
Revealing truly sincere people besides.
who’ll shield me from harsh tides.

For that ultimate peaceful smile
That has struggled through tears
And survived through several fears.

I am thankful for all that learning
Despite all pain while  yearning.