I'm a flesh addict, sporadic, adrenaline, I love being alive
Feel my muscles pumping blood as I run reckless- overdrive
And I cannot wait for the day, I get to say, I had the strength to survive
Like alliteration of insanity, inside of me, I to I!

But my eyes would be deceived if I said I see life like it's perfect
Like a roller-coaster, going through the motions, twists and turns a better way to word it
Take a seat, and sit with me, maybe then we'll be, like minded
Instead of you, like a lost moose, in the headlights: blind sided

I hate pretending, so, here's my raw aggression
I would take a second, to ******* bash your head in
But I don't wanna get physical, with someone so pitiful
Let's just keep it minimal, and indulge the lyrical

On sighting you I feel ******
Pity, anger, and anguish
Bullied by this *****
A year my senior, having kids

I feel hollow like a steel pipe, hurting like a rough night
I pull my smile too tight, to the point I'm  showing pearly whites
My mindset like, dynamite, my rhymes like, to takes lives,
Like a steak knife I'll carve you up
Eat these bullets, desperate lunch!

Now make no mistake
I sharpen dull blades
And I get carried away
******, serial, and maim

Just crunching numbers okay?
Nothing has changed
You're still the same old, same old
Here we go, another bomb falls!

Just an organic robot, blowing off steam
Of flesh and metal, robotic zombie
I see the cogs and the gears but I don't see a spirit
All I see is sheeple living lives like corporate business

Where's the fun in this? Leech the Government
Have a couple kids, and some funding with
A faded side *****, drugs kicking in
Go party hard with all your fake friends

You are not a parent, just a pa for rent
She is not a mother, just another chick
Using all that money to hit another fix
Coz you ain't cool if you ain't staying lit!

And that's just how it is, juvy and pregnant kids
People telling other people that their life's ****
Graffiti tags and spit, violence just a bit
Lost dreams and broken bottles, vanished innocence...

What exactly have I done so wrong?
I have listened to his cries and pleas
I have tried to understand all of his
Hopes, dreams and needs
Yet as time goes on
He continues to hate me
Not trusting in my love
Not believing on our friendship
How can I remind him
So that he will remember?

Why has he left me all alone?
I have always talked and cried with him
I have joked around
I have shared my secrets and feelings
All with him
But as he gets older he wants to leave
Run away so to speak
Never turning back
Not even a blink
Will I ever see him again?

Where has my son gone?
He is hiding behind the
Teenage smoke screen
Rather be lonely than come back to me
I have to be the parent
He doesn't like
Sorry if this he can't see
I can't seem to change his mind
How can I tell him
I love him
And have him believe?

Is there any chance to help
Our relationship survive?
I have given him my heart and my soul
But he doesn't seem to care anymore
The closeness we once had
Seems to have died
In a few days' time
It's a possibility he may
One day forgive
Allowing our anger, pride and hurt
To go away
Not holding a grudge for things
That are not my fault
Will he ever accept my apologies

- Nirmohi

I am currently
under construction.
Thank you
for your patience.
I know
I'm not always the easiest
to deal with,
but in my defense,
teenage years
aren't always the easiest
to go through!

Its a summer,
sitting in the house older than the dirt in the garden just outside.

In the summer heat,
where we wear our bathing suits all day long.

We stay out in the sun because,
Pop pop says its good for us

We eat and eat and eat,
And we play and play and play

"stay young," Pop Pop mumbles under his breath,
of course when I was younger I never truly understood the words spoken form his lips.

As a teen in my grandparent's backyard,
my ungraceful limbs and awkward body were welcomed.

Mom mom and Pop pop loved my brace face even when I didn't.

My stomach rolls didn't matter.
In fact, the only rolls that did matter were the ones we ate with our macaroni.

In my grandparents home, we spend busy mornings,
but lazy afternoons playing poker at the table.

In my grandparents house,
sadness rolls away like the waves at the local New England beach.

Of course, like any good family, things can get angry and heated,

But at my grandparent's house,
that's just how we know it is time for a swim.

Do you think it would be okay if I sat ?
If I took this opportunity to talk ,
and you to listen ,
For me to sort my thoughts ,
for you to see my cheeks redden .

Perhaps it would be alright if I stared a little longer than I should've ?
Maybe if you were staring back we'd be okay ,
for me to watch you avert your gaze,
If you could quiet the noise for a second ,
there's no end to your power ,
Silence my nerves with a look ,
appreciate movement .

If I could just accompany you for a minute ?
I'd tell you all about yourself ,
the you I believe in ,
the person I hoped you'd bring out in me .

But by all means ,
this seat is saved for someone else ,
my intentions remain pure ,
wait for her ,
I'll wait for you .

I don't know what to say,
And don't know what to do,
Because all I can ever think about when I'm around you,
Is the way your arms use to feel tied around my chest,
And the sound your voice would make when you laughed so loud like that.

I don't know how to breath,
Don't know how to smile,
Because lately I've been noticing your happier by yourself,
But then we'll catch each other's eye,
And we'll make awkward contact for a while,
You'll break it first like it never happened,
This isn't exactly how I imagined.
I hope you know I'll never forget the way your arms felt wrapped round my chest,
And the sound of your voice when you laughed so loud,
I wish that I could hear it right now.

I don't know how to look,
Don't know how to act,
Because when I hear your name,
I have to restrain myself.
After all your friends are mine and your bound to come about,
But I'm not ready to see you happy with someone else,
It sounds insane because after all,
It was entirely my own fault for a girl with a broken soul,
Will be forever unloved by one and all.

satin shades of ribbon
tie the knot around my heart
more than I wanted to you I've given
it was only half past twelve
but the mice stayed quiet and the pumpkins had all died
**** like Rihanna's fragrance
I feel shocked at our current status
like does he love me?
or was that really fantasy like my mind is playing tricks on me
suspicious minds like Elvis
drunken lies might shelter this
if you fail to turn up sober again I'm done with this
like you were my 'first kiss' it was so pure and selfless
so why am I so selfish when it comes to you?
but hey I guess the sky is still blue
we remain under the same atmosphere
tell me please if you feel this over here