Everyone is laughing.
Everyone belongs somewhere.

Except me.
I can't breathe.
I'm suffocating.

It takes 3 minutes for you to lose consciousness by lack of oxygen
This is suffocating
Your brain begins to fire neurons off into the maze of your body
telling it secrets that will forever be held on its tongue

Brain death occurs after 6 minutes
This is the cessation of all brain function
This is death by the deprivation of the air you need to go on
However
In any other circumstance where the heart is not deprived of oxygen
it will keep beating for a period of time.

this was me when you left
I went brain dead
My heart continues to beat of its' own accord
the pacemaker is set to pump my blood
but my lungs crept up and out of my throat
this was my suffocation
not by hanging, not by smothering

It takes 5 minutes for brain cells to start dying at a slow dance of a pace
This is asphyxiation
Consciousness will be lost within 2 minutes
like falling into a deep sleep, peaceful and then all at once

Asphyxiation is the build up of a substance such as carbon dioxide in the body that interferes with the oxygenation of your organs
This death is timely
The car running in the garage or the bag slipped over a head
This death takes 20 minutes

our love was a metaphor of this,
a slow dance into despair
the outcome was the same either way
but it seemed like you picked the method with the flip of a coin
it was lengthy,
it was beautiful,
but it was also devastating.

of bruised skin
and tear-filled eyes,
of empty palms
and tired smiles

of raging waves
and endless storms
of aching heart,
a rose with thorns

of burning heat
from walls to fist
with ash-filled lungs
and fractured ribs

I cannot breathe;
it's suffocation
I cannot live;
this is depression

Everything is so tight.
Jeans, leggings, dresses, shirts, skirts, jackets
and summer wear is even worse and more revealing with
crop tops, shorts, and even shorter skirts and dresses.
How are we all able to breathe?
Victorian fashion had corsets
and those made them faint!
So why does the fashion have to be tight?
Don't get me wrong,
I do like skinny jeans, and tight shirts and dresses
I am a girl after all,
we all give in to the status quo of fashion at times.
But, sizes are even smaller now than they were before.
I haven't gained or lost weight,
my waist size hasn't changed,
nothing has.
Except for the clothes.
Are we trying to make women smaller and thinner
by just shrinking the clothes?
It should not be ¨Survival of the fittest¨
in the dressing rooms.
That isn't cool.
Also, why are the pants so short?
I have long legs, okay,
and because my waist size matches someone who is smaller than me
then that must mean that I am short
according to clothes.
Therefore I have difficulty finding pants
that fit my waist
and my legs.
I am not blind to my surroundings.
Every single girl
Goes. Through. This.
We all have shopping woes,
some worse than others.
We all gain uncomfortable experiences
whether it be from something not fitting,
or from the attention on the streets
that we get for wearing it.
Then of course, don't forget the media!
Remember all those pictures of perfect people
being shoved down our throats
strangling us until we accept the fact
that we should be just like them.

Suffocation is the latest fashion,
and we are expected to wear it well.

I felt it
     twist around me
          tighter
               and
                    tighter
                         tears poured
                              blood slowed
                         and you stared
                    with that sly smile
               you do so well
     tighter
and
     tighter
          gasping for air
               your teeth bared
                    the snake ensnared
                         tighter
                    and
               tighter
     hands
limp
     heart
          stopped
                and you had the nerve
                     to look right into my lifeless eyes
                          and ask,
                               "is everything ok?"

being separated from you
is suffocating
and i wonder
if you feel the same

Brother
your silence is suffocating me.
Your silence is stronger than words.
Much stronger than any word
that will ever come out of your mouth.
Because you talk to the dog more than me and you never talk to the dog.
Shut up.

what? she shouts
what do they want?
how many, she counts
how many more commands

bounded by shackles
but, she tries to calm down
wondering in vain
when will she get out.

happy is what she needs to be
and thinking isn;t helping in anyway
putting up a bold smile
she walks and talks
but inside all she does is shout, shout and shout.

there are roses,
tulips, daisies,
and carnations forming
a garden between my ribs,
centrically swirling and
bending to take up every space.

and it looks beautiful but
within i cannot breath due
to the suffocation and sweet
poison of the memories
each flower you gave me
bears.