This pit of jealousy has grown too deep.
I lash out at the walls but i only hurt myself in the process,
and as i sink lower, deeper;
I feel my friends stand on rising mountains.

The only time I'm not stressed
Is when I've worked myself past the point of breaking

Being too tired to feel is my comfort zone
I feel so at home in running around
I don't rest while I sleep
Instead to-do lists and unfinished problems are scripted into my dreams
Using the backs of my eyelids as a whiteboard for tomorrow's tasks

I can't tell if this constant state of movement is Newton's Law
Or a feable attempt to be enough--for no one but myself

I second guess each right answer, every step forward
My thoughts get a racetrack in lieu of a bed

I know this isn't normal
So imagine what I'd do to be in the moment I'm living
Instead of the somewhere else I always am

The end of the day is the worst because you’re caught at a cross road - go home to the mundane or get in your car and forget it all.

Sit in the car until the windows fog up so the people passing by cannot see the stains of the tears that run down from those tired eyes because all of this - it’s all getting old.

But you sit, waiting for the car to be cold enough for you to finally feel numb to everything that stands on the other side of the fogged windshield.

Feeling every emotion so intensely.

Your heart beat pounding in your ears - so quick and loud that you think this time it may actually stop.

Calm Down.

Hold back the *****; the poison trying to escape from your body because your brain is telling you it is toxic.

These bones ache from the gravity of the unnecessary weight being carried. Holding up everyone else as if they were more important that yourself.

Bones can easily break and turn to dust under the pressure but the world won’t fall.

The weight of the world does not need to be carried by one person alone.

That burden is meant to be shared, to stand stand together and support each other when needed.

It is a give and take, not a solo act.

Remember, you are not Atlas. You are not condemned to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.

People are so eager to say,
"You are enough"
to shove,
"self love" down your throat.
but when you're tossed aside,
by everyone,
how can I believe that I'm,
deserving of love

So you found yourself in over your head.
Bit off more than you could chew.
Stretched yourself a little too thin,
then what did you do?

Sent out a veiled cry-for-help to a friend,
knowing full well it was a torpedo.

Too many days
have gone by in worry
too many nights
in nightmares

Too many afternoons
in soppy tears
too many mornings
with short breath

There are no happy endings
only endings
only means to an end
only dying to live
beyond our means

I feel like this is the end.
I’m standing in the middle of the street while it’s raining. I’m cold,probably freezing.
But,all I can feel is the pain in my heart.
The voices in my head telling me to give up.
I feel like this is the end.
I’m down on my knees,I’m screaming.
I can’t survive.
I won’t survive.
I just wanna give up.
Is it worth it?
Am I worth it?
I feel like this is the end.
I can’t keep on having this facade of normalcy and strength.
I’m under a lot of stress.
It’s not worth the fight.
I’m not worth it.
Maybe this is the end.
Maybe this is how it ends,me giving up.
Me not survive.
Falling apart under this pouring rain,with tears streaming down my face and my palm on my chest,I can feel the pain.