Love is is the epitome of pataphysical self deception,
disdained and rotting from the inside out,
strained crys from the shepherds dying son,
lost souls of chronological madness laugh in the guise of strange fruit,
bearing witness to the tearing flesh of mothers scorned,
sacrilegious harmony whimpering in the cold death,
returning to the land where the Pharaoh died,
eyes whipped shut,
eternally salvaged souls from self cannibalization,
the end of living, our suffocated light.

something brushes my cheek as I sleep
tiny footsteps perhaps
and I awake in the vaguely lit room
somewhat startled
for this is the second time in two nights
but on this night I do not simply turn over
the dreams, these nightmares of sorts
are beginning to extend
well past the moment of being awake

now propped on one arm
I focus my eyes and sweep
first across my pillow
slowly to the edge
of the mattress
which is inches from the floor
I see it
not scampering
but walking away at a normal gate
this bright neon red spider  
large and life like
moving away towards the corner

wait!
I'm fully awake and I'm seeing this,
the thought occurred
my every nerve twitching in icewater
it's legs cartoonishly long and thin
I watched in stark silence
as it bent low and weaved its way through the space between my slippers
then behind a box of videos
I sat in disbelief
again asking myself if I were awake
but I knew
there was no need to slap myself this time

I slowly leaned towards the box and pulled it quickly
towards me
it was gone
and I was still awake
still in some place between disbelief and shock

how does one escape their nightmares
when they cross from dream to reality

The cool breeze of the sea
Gently flowing with a tender bite
It swept around us gracefully
Shrouded in the darkness of night

The soft grass beneath our skin
As we sat upon that hill
Clear wide view of the ocean bright
The world lit solely by moonlight

A light hearted conversation dwelled
As you confessed to me your sins
Cursing yourself for your past
Losing your mischievous grin

Falling back with a soft thud
Sighing as you look up to the sky
Laying down beside you
Before looking you straight in the eye

I don't fault you for the things that you've done
I mean
We all do stupid things don't we?

A moment of silence fell upon us
A murmur of what has been said
We all do stupid things
The warmth of one another spread

Both of us a little hesitant, Our lips seemed to have met
It was gentle and kind, Soft and sweet
And in that fleeting moment my heart skipped a beat

Pulling away and hiding within his embrace
We both laughed softly, As the sparks fade away
It was merely a moment, for it was my first
But the warmth still remains long after we dispersed

Holding each other tight, as we kissed yet again
We lay in content silence, simply looking out at the sea
The lights from the city afar, appeared elegant and bright
The waves rolled in calmly, not another person in sight

?????????

Time is not flying
the evening hours are so slow, inching by
and spent tossing and turning
my restless mind roams dark avenues
my restless feet roam the bed,
left...right...then back, over and over.
the bed, that was my hammock....no longer sways
a promise of peaceful slumber, flies away,
???????
new and strange images
start to trail me...they're heavy tassels,
tagging on the  hemlines of my mind,
seeking to connect...to be known
???????
this late hour, i recall
a forked road, not far from a winding road,
from afar, a child admires a white castle
high as the clouds, its windows, foggy,
its high fence, mossy...on its front lawn
is a treehouse, perched...resting like a bird
inside a very old tree, leaning to its left side,
with a long set of steps...all painted white.
just below the white steps are gathered,
doyens of poetry...seated in their own chosen
corners...tacit, yet, empowered by their brilliant minds
the tips of their feathered pens, smoothly sliding on
paper......strange, that they're waving at me,
why, they could be dead!
???????
i must be dreaming...my muse is showing
me paths, i would think twice of treading
???????
a quartered moon selfishly glows
unsettles even more, my murky thoughts...
yet....my pressing thumb is on my journals
i must heed.........the need.
???????
"o' my elusive unknown poem,
kindly show me...lead me to your home
let my pen give light to your dim path
give second wind to my weary mind and heart,
deny, even a bit of a space......for wrath,

help me, push me...my efforts musn't cease
show me your face...we'll both have peace."

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Sally  

© Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
April 21, 2018