I shouldn’t have I guess I forcefully moved my things into your heart on parham street This fool has been celebrating a grubby clean slate He drank a cocktail before the harvest After storing his brain safely in the garbage He asked ‘would you be mine’
I shouldn’t have said I love you first Now realising that was the pistol to your head And i jumped the gun twice and over again This fool stands in awe of his folly He reads his scribbles of idyllic love poems and ******* dovy quotidians Every compelled ‘i love you’ will be overturned My hands over-burned from the blisters Bitter from the bile from every memory Though i took my time, I was patiently stupid
I shouldn’t have Now i’m sat here with this lollipop of regret Now knowing that every graphic snapshot was because of that same pistol No wonder why it all seemed strange I used to gnaw about making you feel like you needed to trust me and love me I was yet weary of receiving the blame of every kiss, pause and touch I didn’t realise that the foundation was built on compelled labour I was to quick to celebrate, but now i know what i should have
that moment I first saw you I knew I was in trouble you were too handsome far too smart and too sweet I knew I was in denial you said these words to me that compelled me to fall for you lies probably but I listened anyway knowing this could be fiction but hoping it was the truth ever since you left I have realized that I miss you ever since you left I look for you everywhere I go and ever since you left you cannot escape my mind I was told to stop looking so I did then you appeared and I told myself that I wasn't looking for you but maybe I was and maybe you fooled me into thinking I was special rare and wonderful did you mean that at all now I don't think so I am stuck on you already and it scares me intensely all my options seem wrong I cannot leave you but I cannot stay when you held me that first night I knew I would never let that feeling go when you stared into my eyes and asked me "what are you thinking about?" I knew I couldn't tell you because I would look like a fool to say "you"