I remember when your eyes met mine. It was a feeling, not so much physical attraction. I knew that you’d open me up and I knew that I’d strip you down - in so many ways.

It only took a night, a moment, a second for us to be completely naked and vulnerable for only our eyes to see and our minds to feel. Connected entirely, it didn’t feel like one night, maybe a lifetime?

That’s when I knew. As you slept, I was sleepless. As you slept, my heart skipped a beat everytime your eyelids flinched. I wanted to hold it so tightly but not tight enough that it’d slip through my fingers.

I day-dreamed about you waking up and holding me close, expressing your love to me as you gently kissed my face. You, looking deep into me, so deep you could see my hidden gems. Yes the same gems that haven’t sparkled in years.

You see, it only takes one; one moment, one feeling, one person, one love. Your eyes begin to flutter and I inhale. I guess the question is, before I see your eyes, before the sun comes up, before a word even leaves your lips… will you actually?

I met a drifter once with soulless eyes
Who told a tale of red demented skies
A madness rides when darkness rules the earth
And howling wolfen echoes now are heard

A whitened moon is shining brightly there
Upon the paths of men, of fools that dare
To cross, to enter forests bound to rule
Of Baron ****** cruel and nightly cool

The men still travel headless down the road
To Baron's castle dark, their new abode
A silence fills the ears as gurgling dies
A silent static warning - travel wise

I ventured forth the paths of blackened woods
And heard I there the noises barely good
In terror, fear and horrid dreams I stepped
To crawling blackness there and gates *****

The fear was there, astounding gravely fold
The swaying bodies, clouds of grey so bold
In windy gates, in hollow ground and more
Will walk the hanged, the blooded ones in yore

I turn and run as far as legs would take
I run until I reach a crystal lake
And there nearby a village stood aghast
I stumbled forward, homely inn atlast

To catch a breath, to feel relief at heart
Relief that came gave way to thoughts so stark
'Twas then I heard a horse and neighs and screams
Commotion there, a song and creaks and dreams

There stood a rider, crimson ****** death
Ungody terror stealing every breath
The Crimson Baron, headless, stood there proud
And looming over us, the stormy cloud

A rider red atop a horse and dead
The bloodied sword that bit and bit the heads
And dyed the plates, a colour crimson gore
To chop, to chop us all and more and more

A hand that fell atop the singing moon
A hand that brought me low to pits of gloom
Of people hardy stole the god and mocked
The changing seasons, life, the earthly walk

The wight alive in slaughter lost the sight
I climbed a tree in fright in hasty flight
To watch the limbs of bodies broken fly
The men and women, children hanged to die

As slowly moves the timely guiding hand
And ripple skies above, a plane so grand
A ******, slaughter waning down below
A promise, fateful image, bane and woe

And then I turn my eyes to bright of light
To ember stars, to moon aglow in night
To ride atop the mountains, hold a vault
In hands, above the heavens, hold a court

Awake I, ground so damp with dew and tears
A steady breath for painful lonely years
To hear a neigh, a horse to dream, to haunt
A rider ****** waltzing, hear his taunt

The world is rough enough, I can’t take it no more.
I’m not that tough you know, I guess I never was to be honest.
My soul is weak to the point of me being overwhelmed by agony.
My future’s bleak, the same as it was back in my childhood days or so I’d like to say.

So scarred am I by life by life events. I cannot even count how many there really were.
But I don’t want to complain. Even the best of soldiers have the ugliest of scars.
Wounded by swords. Wounded by arrows. Wounded by love. That’s the battlefield of today.
Those are the things you have to go through is order to survive. In order to “go on living.”

I fight alone. I fight my own battles. I fight my own wars.
To save my own. Meaning, my memories and my emotions.
I lost my breath today while fighting. That has never happened to me again.
Gosh I’m as scared of death, to death and by death, for as long as I can remember.

To God I speak loudly and clear but it seems to me that..
He’s deaf indeed, I cannot even hear his voice. Maybe it’s too late for me to believe.
True love I seek but will I ever find true love? I don’t think so..
A lover’s plead to the stars, that’s what every beat of my heart is really whispering.

I don’t know what the world is asking from me, I really don’t.
Sometimes I just wish to be left fully alone. I have nothing more to give.
I don’t know if all I want is to want or to not want. But isn’t that a desire in itself?
Will I live forever??? Please say to me that I get to live forever.

Many times when people get to find who you really are, they..
They tend to run away from you as fast as they can, maybe..
Maybe it’s vanity to desire perfection and to strive for ideals.
Maybe all that you really need to do is to just, to just, to simply…LIVE.

Only open your heart to someone who really cares,
And for sure don’t give your heart “just like that” to strangers..
They will use it and abuse it just like the rest of the world will.
Without caring, without any compassion, without any remorse

You are not the only person to be alive you know
(I guess that is my antidote, my cure for selfishness)
You are not the only one who has a right to experience things.
(I know) Yeah but you don’t seem to change your mindset/behavior at all.

It seems to me as though sometimes the whole of reality is just like a big movie
Everybody is playing their role. Unaware that they themselves, are being played too
Forever ****** to want to be somebody else. Denying themselves.
Don’t you see that sometimes too? I mean the movie part of it all?

(Now, tell me, just tell me, what is the secret to living a long, happy and fulfilling life?)
To not care about what others think but to trust them with your life without any second thought.
You see, that was a contradiction because I always tend to speak that way.
I’m elusive, I’m opposed to myself but also united. Fragmented and whole. I am the all-encompassing, ever eternal, [BROKEN & glued again] mirror of life!

I don’t know what the truth is. I guess the only thing that’s true is..
Searching for truth. That is the only “true” path of life. I believe so that it is at least.
And you? What’s your Truth? What’s the truth that you are after? Huh?
Money? Fame? ***? Love? Companionship? God? Or the smell of the essences of the very deep recesses of your own mind’s unconsciousness?

I don’t know if I was always like this.. A deep thinker.
Pondering about mine and other people’s existence for far more than it is “necessary”.
Stretching thought to its very own limits. Letting, leading, and teaching my mind into taking more than it can “actually” take.
I think that’s is my mission here. To find, realize and then express to people, the finer truths of this world. And to rid them. Of their mystery.

That – I believe- is the only thing that matters. Unite the contradictions in yourselves.
And maybe, maybe you will only find that NONE of them, really existed at all.
It’s been my life’s work to try and find words to express the inexpressible.
Attaining the unattainable. Realizing the un-realizable. Touching upon the very elusive “thing-ness” of this world. And yet still up to today, it escapes me.

Quiet tears and silent prayers spoken in the night
Walking through darkness to reach the light
Then back again and the cycle repeats
It's been like that my entire life
And I'm ok, I'm alright
Doing just fine
Alright?

Walking through this deserted land
Feeling ever so weak
I just want to get home
Back to wonderland

My hearts bleeding
Hands shaking
Don't you see
I'm dying here
But there you are smiling happily
Even as I lose my sanity

My reality is dissolving
A problem that cannot be solved
It's funny
I was once a superstar
But all I have to show for it
Is a bunch of scars

So many scars
And so much tears.