Tonight I am color blind, and nothing tastes right. The room is like I left it last, it's dark, but still too bright.
Lots of strange items in a pile on the floor. Some dust and a beer bottle next to the door.

Out my little window, darkness there, still. The wind is slowly humming, I am cold and feeling ill.
Another tired sigaret, my eyes are turning red. Too late by far, yet I am far from my bed.

The room seems bigger now, a mile from side to side. I am dreaming already, but have yet to close my eyes.
Pretty little objects by the window in a row. Oh, no I'm not depressed, my friend. On the contrary, I'm in love.

Sleepless nights
prompt me
to spill the day's joys
and sorrows
to the stars that
sit there
staring back at me
shining with understanding

I Listen to the sounds,
while laying on the bed.
It's passed midnight
but sleep is late -
just the darkness
hanging above the dimmed night lamp.

A dog barked at a shadowy figure.
A bus drove away on a distant road.
Then silence again
which makes me think...
But I hate thinking.
it keeps me awake, listening to the silent.
Unending cycle
listening, awake, thinking
till the sun comes out of the hiding
darkness says it's goodbyes.
I'm so tired.
can't get out of the bed.
there's nothing for me out there.

That dog barks again.
I'm still in the middle of the night
listening
****, I hate thinking!!

Midnight summer rain
When I can't sleep I stare
and think of all the things I could be doing instead.

If I had the money I would
come visit you today
I won't care that it's late
only that you're there
We would walk hand in hand
and maybe start running
Splash through the puddles
as people start staring

Midnight summer rain
When I can't sleep, I ---
close  my eyes and think, "I could be doing a lot around this minute."

If I had the courage I would
leave everything I had (it's not much)
Board a plane or a train
and be a vagabond
Anywhere, any place
is the destination ahead
To be a face in the masses
but with purpose in my lens....

Midnight summer rain
When I can't sleep...I dream of -
capturing life's very fleeting moments instead.

When the days end, nights befall, 
Mind keeps wondering alone in the dark streets.
Running from wild fire in forest, 
Scared of the horror, she shouts in pain.
She opens her eyes, clock goes tik tok tik tok...
She gets cold in freezing winter,
Beside a frozen lake, under thousand stars.
The waves takes her inside,
She fights and fights.
She can feel the salty water, she looses her grip,
And the ocean goes darker.
She opens her eyes, clock goes tik tok tik tok...
She keeps running, never cease to stop. 
Her shoes are tore, body tired, eyes heavy with sleep,
But she can still hear the clock goes tik tok tik tok...

i can write poems and songs
know what’s right and what’s wrong
i can sing my heart out
without feeling any doubt

but i can’t control my mind
i’m not always that kind
at night i cannot sleep
but i've got what i need

Fluttering at shutter speed.
Is it my heart inside my chest,
or my lungs palpitating.

It is my veins.  
Rushing with blood, or collapsing for lack of.

It is my stomach. Eating away its own lining;
Acidic paint splattered across its walls. Whitewashing them
With every sporadic convulsion I feel.

A fortnight,
No sleep.

When I do sleep, I do not sleep.

I am depressed. Unhappy.  Not entertained.  

Overly-dramatic.

Questioning every decision I’ve ever made about life,
I inflate with anger.

I think about opportunities passed.

I revolt with envy when I see artists prevail.

I am a miserable **** brimming with unseen talent.




I miss cigarettes.

I miss *******.

Cheap whiskey and grinding my teeth
until 2 in the afternoon when my bloodshot eyes’ll tell you more
than you could ever learn reading my palms.

Fake prophesies of people who never really cared,

and rooms lit up with cheap disco lights and moist carpets.
Perfectly ripened with mildew and sweat and DNA.


The saved lives of unborn infants.


The lucky few.

a quiet night
                                                    echoing­ sobs
                                        glimpse of grief
                                                 heavy heartbeats
                                  sulking by a corner
                                             blaming my mind for hours
                          thinking over and over again -
                        

you can never grow a dead flower.