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Jeremy Betts Dec 2023
My rough past, a lonely gravel path that directed me here
One riddled with loathing and fear from myself and every peer
It all pales in comparison to each and every fallen tear
Added to the unforgiving shame of having tried to check out that one year
It's this reign of pain that stops me in my tracks like headlights freezing a deer
It's clear I don't know how to steer and can not get out of first gear
My entire windshield is a rearview mirror, the next tragedy always closer than they appear
My over corrections and over reactions are too severe, they're starting to break down the veneer
Put in place to simulate normalcy and hide the real me but I'm a horrible engineer
The intentions were sincere but this cavalier attitude never allowed the good in me to adhere
I've given in to my dark passenger allowing it to commandeer the space between each ear
At the time I thought it'd be far messier if I tried too interfere with the puppeteer
So I grabbed a few memories as a souvenir and tried to disappear

©2023
Pax Dec 2023
I've killed that old flame
felt so ashame, I'm to blame
i left to pursue nothing
it kept me running
please, lend me something
a little bit of hope
for me live on and to cope

i wish i never killed you
left you there
    in the darkness's hue
i wanted to write something good i hope but it becomes depressing when you dive directly into the darkside on how you killed your own dream.
Alex Dec 2023
A white-hot rod of shame burns into my chest- I can feel it now, the charring of skin, the cracking of ribs. I smell the smoke before I can see it. I feel the rod before I can break it.
"No, that's not quite right...."
I know. I know it isn't. I knew it as I said it, it's not right. God, I ******* know. I thought it was wrong, I was going to say something else-
And there's the stench of burning. There is the familiar rib-crack. There will be a scar there by morning.
Scarlet McCall Dec 2023
I saw you standing by the door
as I swayed and rocked on the dance floor.
The music was familiar, I could follow
the rhythm, the melody;
it seemed to be the missing part of me--
my unspoken sorrow, and sexuality.

You seemed immature. I didn’t try to understand
what you were saying. Your offered hand,
I rejected.  
I thought you were adolescent, smirky
trying to shock, pretending to be *****.
It didn’t make me feel like being flirty.
In fact, you reminded me
of everything I despised.
I couldn’t see the pain in your eyes
or peel away the lies
to hear the truth that you were saying.

A few decades later, here we are.
I’ve now found myself hitched to your star.
Do I now understand who you are–
or did you change--
older, wiser, the pretense gone?

I”m so sorry to arrive at this party so late.
Forgive me–
I was blind,
I was deaf,
I needed someone to hate.
Zywa Nov 2023
I'm ashamed, I eat

brownie crumbs, in the movie --


I've **** in my mouth.
Being an extra - Novel "Munya" (name: "Wish/Desire/ What is longed for permanently even though it is very difficult to get", 2008, Abdelkader Benali), chapter Morocco

Collection "Appearances"
Chelsea Quigley Nov 2023
I am useless,
Clueless,
Naive
And foolish.

I am a child
Of chance.
A night of romance.

I am an early-morning
Call,
A surprise to all,

Aren't I, mother?

One that can use no tool.
A waste to the teacher,
Within a school.

Aren't I, father?

A child
'Out of control'.
Seemingly 'too old'
To be consoled.

But alas,
You wish for connection.
How should I know of it?

I am prone to rejection.

Subjection,
To your own mistake.
A choice you made.

The icing on the cake.

But now I am far
Away from your pain.
For I live in worth,

As you live in shame.
jǫrð Nov 2023
Learned this lesson as a child
Don't say more than you have to
And never write it down
Unless you want someone to read it
I keep forgetting
For the sake of being myself
The History: People respond better when I don't have much to say.
Zywa Nov 2023
She pulls her dress up

to her face and then freezes --


hiding it in shame.
Painting "The Cover-up" (1994, Marlene Dumas)

Collection "Imprints Masks"
Jeremy Betts Nov 2023
My head is everywhere BUT in the game
Existin' and livin', my very own ball and chain
I walk the walk, a strut of shame
I wouldn't recognize a day without a cripplin' amount of pain
Physical or brain
Far more damaged under this fleshy terrain
I've lost the safety line between insane and sane
I'm lost beyond what I could not contain
Low to no visibility, can't see through the fog and rain
Not a chance in hell I'm coming out of this the same
A constant strain on this average Joe camouflage membrane
One I've made to hide what I'm made of, keeping the real me out of frame
I'll take the skill, you go ahead with the fame
If it's destiny who needs a strategy, why train?
What happens to the rest of me when there's no more life force to drain?
If I knick a main artery vain would you then know that I am not playin' around when I say all pain, no gain
Don't need no stupid prize so I won't play your stupid game
It's rigged anyway but that's why you came

©2023
Jeremy Betts Apr 2020
(political)

There is nothing wrong with an opinion unless they are belted out as fact as you pivot and turn your back
With an attitude like "that's that, the earth is flat, **** a fact. Oh you have a rebuttal? **** that jack, ain't nobody got time for that and I've already adorn the dunce cap hat and have been programmed to see every opposing view as wack"
Then if you're questioned on any of that crap you over react cause that's the act, a one way ticket on an unfinished track
As a society that's where we are at, blindly led to a side and sat
You over retract at the meer thought of a different opinion like you've just seen a vampire bat
And that's the exact **** they both do, whether sitting far left or crowned with a MAGA hat

They're both one in the same just labeled with a different name, they all share the same shame
They all hold equal blame and should be held accountable for their reign of terror and for being the main source of pain
But they want you to aim your hate at the other side, they playing you, you're just the decks instruction card in a poker game
They claim to be for the people, they proclaim it outside the evil steeple in front of the sheeple that we're all equal in the same frame
At the same time they devide us into different secs and designate to each a new surname like an unwanted nickname
It's ******* insane if you think about it and to get your head around it only takes one tenth of a brain

We follow the hurd like a march of the obserd, making decisions not based on fact but rather based on what we heard
Never fact checking, no veting, just excepting like trusting Pinocchio as you watch his nose grow with every word
Like believing when they change the topic and say it's chocolate even when every shred of evidence proves it's a ****
" Look over there, in the sky, It's a plane, it's a bird...now keep focused over there, don't look over here, I've gotta get this story altered"
They make sure we're not anchored in reality to make distorting ours easy and the truth awkward
Buttered on both sides so no matter how we land they can say it was planned and preferred

Details erased, a false profit embraced, dividing the human race to the point we feel fixing it would be a waste (**** it, let it burn)
The haste in which it's done along with the questionable pace makes it hard to find that one place to begin and state our case
Gotta stake claim to the space between our ears even though that's not always a safe place
They dangle in our face a little taste of what we'll never achieve but will always chase
Don't even try to defend your case saying you'll keep us safe in this death race
'Cause the safety net you've put into place is looking more like mere silk lace
The ace up their sleeve is always a bold faced lie that can be traced back to this countries birth place

We can't seem to see through the fog and past the facade which is odd
See cause to me it's clear as day, even if the details are broad
We applaud mindlessly knowing we don't know what the **** is going on, both here or abroad
The entire system is flawed, it's a fraud, they run roughshod while claiming to walk with god
While you're chained to a tie-rod evil claims your thoughts like stealing an auction with a last minute nod
Then they perfect the show they put on, a conscience gone, a simple knowledge of right and wrong don't belong in their tainted pond
We can't even dream of a win cause you start at the finish of your scripted Iditarod
Then have the nerve to tell us we can't even begin until the ground is thawed

They check mate us with a pawn, almost like we're allowing it to go on
YOU ARE!!
Somehow buying into new rules made on the spot, barely needing a reason
We've given up everything from our freedom to our rights as a human, it's all gone
Seriously, next time an election comes along notice all the mini billboards littering the neighbors lawn
The divide has literally reached our doorstep people. Are you that physically and mentally blind son?
Come on!!! You can't tell me that you don't see the line that's been drawn?
I know you do cause you constantly fight with anyone that comes along and stumbles into your vision with the wrong political pin on
Stating they're wrong and that you're  planted opinion is the right side to be on
But it's never as easy as being captain Kirk, a Klingon or Kahn, theres so much grey in this cauldron
And we've adopted this half wit lexicon and do shorthand in crayon so it's no wonder we're a blunder, seen as a country size *****

Like a circus freak show main attraction, we're always top marquee with evils higher echelon
How long can it go on with leaders so corrupt they can be bought with a mere coupon?
Get them the **** out of the White House and Pentagon, that entire pantheon of people that no longer belong
Our national bank is so overdrawn, moral compass a bygone,  basic human decency forgotten
Our core beliefs seems to be rotten, we've gotten so scared we leave the house in full Teflon
Prepared for battle but in the middle of the fight you just walk out of the octagon, you don't want to lose by decision
You'd rather forfeit any chance to be champion, to tired and confused to carry on
But to proud to admit we fell for the con that got us to set up our own crucifixion
And as we dangle until an eventual death from exhaustion and asphyxiation
You'll still use your last breath to support the liaison with corruption that deep down you knew was wrong all along

©2020
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