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WickedHope Sep 2021
Tie me up
Leave me
Hang me
**** me
When it ends
Maybe
I'll choke
On the
Noose
Around my neck
When it ends
Maybe
I'll choke
You choke me
But
Never enough
I keep breathing
I literally cannot take this.
zz Aug 2021
One glimpse
of the corner
of the stranger's eyes

And you sneaked
back in
my old friend
self- hate

Will
you
ever
leave?
aha May 2021
no, i am not a first grader
incapable of knowing when to capitalize
and i type in lowercase to be nonchalant
i don't capitalize 'i' because

i am not important
my self worth is lower than the Mariana Trench
it's hard for me to even address
myself without feeling annoying

i am not more important than the word prestigious
i'm not more pretty than the word beautiful
i am not as nice as the word affectionate
i'm not as secure as the word trustworthy

it's so hard to reprogram your brain to accept
that you can be of some worth, that you can be
desirable at all after years of too much thinking
and being alone and trapped in my mind

everyday i must try my best to remind myself
that the subject of a sentence is being
complemented by the beautiful words
like the way a close friends complement you

i have to remember that there are people there for me
even if my head tries to tell me otherwise
it's a struggle every time, but
'I'
just have to try
it's hard sometimes to remember that everyone has worth, even yourself...
Jacey May 2021
I'm too young
to be this sick
of my own company.
lila Apr 2021
it's hard when
you finally understand yourself
but then realise
no one will ever accept you
for who you are
(i'll be closeted forever. can't come out in a homophobic country)
T Apr 2021
Words,
They could never hurt,
They could never cut,
They could never make you bleed,
Physically.

Words,
A manifestation of self-hate,
Written in bold,
Anorexia, Bulimia, Depression,
I was sold.

Words,
The last,
Written on a bloodstained note,
"I can't stay afloat"
stillhuman Apr 2021
I see her quite often, you know

She hangs around a small apartment
decorated with little potted plants
and empty coffee mugs
she smiles while taking inside
the clothes left outside to dry
she wears a comfortable jumper
the air around her is warm
and she smells so sweet
her soul is bright but scarred
she's been broken before
but her heart is still capable
of so much loveĀ 
So much more human
So much more real
and truer
than this
mess of thoughts
and blood gone bad
in a bunch of rotting meat
with shame stuck to skin
like dirt
Just spitting words that i found looking into space
Oka Mar 2021
What am I to her?
I am emotionally defective
and physically secondhand.
You deserve luxury and excess
not thrifted vintage.
Your worth is immaterial
Eli Jan 2021
If
only

I could once
again
become my own
friend

Then
maybe

I wouldn't
feel
lonely
I'm lonely in a crowd, and I'm lonely when I'm alone.
I used to not be this way.
I used to be content and happy alone.  
But then, I reached out to a crowd
and abandoned the friend I made with myself.
Now, I'm the culprit.
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