Stop for a moment
Look around
Observe, Stay silent
Try not to make a sounds

look at that boy on his phone
Sitting in the back, completely alone
But little do you know he's listening in
He knows all the details and places you've been
If you look closely enough you can see his sly G R I N
So watch out for him, cause he knows of your S I N S

Look at the Queen bee of the school
****** uptight, she thinks that she rules
Her possy of friends will surely destroy your life
So beware of her, as the barbie dolls B I T E

Look at the students that blend into the back
Their words and stares will cause you to crack
Mindless zombies acting through spite
Controlled by gossip and tragedy delight
So choose wisely who you befriend
Cause otherwise it will surely be your E N D

Look around you, You're surrounded by liars
Backstabbers, Fuckbois, *****'s galore
But you know what. Its really okay
Because you still have your friends at the end of the day

There are many different people that will still have your back
Some may stay while others will attack
Observe and look out for those around you
And then in return. they will do the same for you

So hold on tight your in for a ride
Its going to be up and down
And sometimes you'll even cry
But I promise you,
You're not going to die

You'll make it through this
Trust me I know
The acts will keep changing
But don't forget

You're the main show.

Through death we learn how precious life is.
We are given the gift of your first and last home.
With the first cut, your struggles, your joys and your scars are all revealed.
And we see you.

We see the physical pieces, tissues and organs that you inhabited.
The lungs that expanded with your first breath and collapsed with your last.
The heart that beat for the first time in synchrony with your mother's.
The womb in which you created life.

But when we see you,
We also find foreigners who took your space for themselves.
The cancers which suffocated and starved you.
Sutures, scars, and remnants of past surgeries intended to extend your life.
Abnormalities and deformities that not only defined your perfect imperfection, your humanness,
But also evicted you from your physical being.

So lucky are we to learn from you.
So indebted are we to you
For your generosity and humility.
Like all great teachers, you have made great sacrifices in the name of education.
And for that we are truly grateful.

While your ears cannot hear our "thank-you"
We know you are listening and watching over us
As we pursue the knowledge and empathy we need
To become great doctors.

"Just shrug it off," "Become a man."
That's what they all tell me,
But they don't understand.

"Do well in school," "Get good grades too."
Easy for them to say,
They never felt my gloom.

The world's full of authority,
And yes you should respect it.
But there's more than obeying,
Problems too, prepare to expect it.

I know their older,
And probably wiser.
But what if they're not,
What if they never lit their fire?

Polite
Typical
Smiley
Daughter

Pointlessly
Trusting
School
District

Professor
Turns-blind-eye
Struggling
Drastically

Packets
Turn-to
Stacks
Deficient

Panic Attacks
Turn-to
Self
Destruction

Pulling
Teeth
Sick
Design

Plan­­s
To
Stop
Discussing

Peace
To-her
Silence
Disturbs

People
Talked
She
Distracted

Passed
The
Snacks-to
Dinners

Pulled
The
Same
Dimensions

Pre-K
Then
Smaller
Didn't

Pause
Third-Grade
So
Dead

Parents
Though
She
Drowned

Piled
Thoughts
Suffocated-her
Dexterity

Patient
There
Suffering
Depression

Problems
To-many-to
Score
Dispute

Progress
That
Shockingly
Developed

Potentially
Taken-away-the
Suffering
Dramatically

Poor
Tiny
Sweet
Doll

Par­­t
Traumatized
Sleep
Deprived

Phobic
though
Sixth grade
Doesn't

Play
Though
Six-Years-of
Death

Until... The little girl, learned she had,
Post
Traumatic
Stress
Disorder
and, school treating her badly is only one of her three traumatizing events.

shaking, i'm shaking, i'm told.
like i can stop it somehow
one second i'm in class
the next
i'm on a stretcher
being asked by my principal
if i'm alright?
seizing, you're seizing, you're having a seizure
i'm told as i
puzzle together my surroundings
and as i do i begin to cry
why me? i ask
what did i do to deserve this?
even now, my memories of that day have been tampered
as if some omnipotent force doesn't want me to remember
the horrors of that day.
my friends tell me i walked out of class
no explanation as to why
maybe i thought it looked nice outside
the white clouds painted across the cool ocean sky

the doctors tell me my nerves are misfiring
but so are the thoughts in my head
for whatever reason i end up again
in some unknown hospital bed.
i close my eyes and count to ten
hoping for this to all just end,
but the stress disagrees with me
and leaves my weak head penned.

the last time it happened was in the bleak december
when the skies were gray with the sun's last ember
i am scared of the odds i won't make it to september
because of some unfair episode i can't even remember

Thursday, April 19th
forever imprinted on my inaccurate brain
the day my grandfather died.
the day my mother was diagnosed with cancer.
the day my life changed forever

people say high school was
the greatest four years of their life
that i should cherish and remember forever
for i will never be able to grab a hold of time
and wish to be back
but how should i remember high school
when memories are being deleted
in my brain's system files
and the only memories i have
are of my family falling apart;
my tears' perpetual flowing down my soggy cheeks?

my friends tell me i'm not alone in this,
but how could i be anything else.
they don't know how i feel,
they joke about it now like it's okay
watch out, they say,
don't have a seizure about it, they joke
by now my eyes are hoover dams
damming the tears from
showing the outside world
my true feelings.

and now i conclude,
as i am no longer in the mood
to sit here in deep introspection
because after all, everyone has imperfections
mine are just more unique.

S -
sweet spring mornings
small sparrows singing
soft rain spiraling down

P-
packing for spring break
picnics on pebbles
parties with pizzaz

R-
realizing school is almost released
relaxing with reliable friends
romance in the rambunctious evenings

I-
interesting weather patterns
inviting iconic friends into your home
impossible things seem possible

N-
nothing compares to the warm spring days
nutritious berries are native to this time of year
nervous for finals

G-
good days with great friends
gorgeous dresses are good for prom
great last days of senior year