I am an insomniac by association.
I associate with sleepless nights and mindsets that are too wobbly and shaky to be anything less than a tornado.
I want to rename my veins after hurricanes.
This one's Sandy because it washed away the girl I loved in New Jersey.
Because the ocean is never as salty as my cheeks after I kiss her through the miles.
Because I am not a boy, because my mother thinks I wear black because I used to slit my wrists.
Because of my tattoos that whisper of their memories while I lay in bed counting the stars I can't see.
So I start counting the stars I see in my head.
So I started taking drugs that made me see them instead.
I am an insomniac because I want to sleep but only when I remember the reasons why I can't.

that when you love someone,
You love them with everything

You love them with their hurt

You love them with their scars

You love them with their tears,
and you love with all your heart

I think I may have found that,

Slightly broken and well-worn

But what's love without its hiccups,
most disease can be cured

But I'm still waiting for that someone,

to see me as I am

I'm waiting for that someone

to be here and now

You love someone with everything

Scars, tears, and hurt

They will love you in return
with your scars tears and hurt

And they will love you beyond their own pain

And I'm waiting.

I've got my heart right here,
I've got my scars right here

I want someone who doesn’t see the scars and scratches on my body
as a symbol of destruction and misery
I want someone who sees the scars and scratches on my body as
a piece of art – a representation of survival
Someone who sees me as a crumpled piece of paper
that is still, somehow, whole but

Simply crumpled

When I did something wrong, they hurt me.
When I asked a question, they laughed.
If I made a mistake, they beat me,
When I messed it up, they snapped.

I bled, I cried, no one cared.
I asked, I wanted, no one shared.
The damage is still here, inside me.
This pain is never going to leave me.

The red blood mixes with the tears,
I hear them laughing at my fears.
They put me into what I'm going through,
Said I deserve it but I don't think I do.

I trace my fingers across the scars
Etched upon my body like stars.
But it's okay, I'll be alright,
As long as I survive tonight.

To my mother, to my brother, to my sister..
To the ones that made my life a living hell, those who made have nightmares when I wasn't asleep..
To the 'best friends' the ones that back stabbed me, and told that they'll never leave me alone..
To the teachers who never cared, never noticed and never liked me..
To the bullies that pointed at me, pushed me down the hallway, spilled soda on my hair, threw my books in the mud, called me a freak, *****, ****, ******, loner, fat, ***** ; and a lot more..
To this country I had the misfortune to be born here..
To my school, that made my life miserable, made me want to **** myself everyday..
To the doctor that forbid my parents to abort me, when they wanted to..
To society that made me feel like I'm never good enough, a waste of space, made me hate myself to a point I'd despise me....
GOODBYE!!
I am ending my life, and I am leaving this world!
I can not take anymore of this! Enough is enough!
I do not expect you to mourn over my death, or even shed tears for me!
Do not fool youselves!
You never noticed, you never cared, you never wanted to and you never tried!
It's too late now!
Goodbye..

Wolves of all,
Hear thy cry.
Save me from this light.

It blinds my cornea.
It burns my skin...
The melanin darkens.

Revealing the Scars.

The scars of the past.
Have been raised from the dead.
Resurrected now,
Revealing my sins.

Wolves of Old,
Hear my cry...
Save me from this world.
Take me from this life..

When you see her cry
     you get a rag,
a gentle delicate cloth.
                                        Lovingly grasp her hand
                                               and dab its tip;
                                       dry each tear as they come.
                                                           ­                               And ask each drop
                                                            ­                                   why it'd leave
                                                           ­                               such beautiful eyes.

  If she wishes
to be in the sky,
  tell her to go.
                              Take the sun ransom,
                              and replace its shining
                                    with her own.
                                                            ­          So you can see her every morning
                                                         ­                          and wish for her
                                                                ­                  return each night.

When you see her scars
  both visible and non-
    touch each gently.
                                             And remind her
                                       that each and every hurt
                                            she has survived,
                                                       ­                                 has only made her
                                                                ­                   that much more unique;
                                                         ­                              that much stronger.

  Show her that she
  is a special person
and is worthy of love.
                                     That she deserves the love
                                            she fears to give...
                                            show her so that
                                                            ­                     one day after you're gone
                                                            ­                      she can find the strength
                                                                ­                    to go on without you.

    Tell her that while
she might not be a goddess
far above worldly desires,
                                          that she is amazing,
                                         for just being herself
                                    for being that beautiful girl
                                                            ­                   who thinks herself damaged
                                                         ­                         when in truth she's just
                                                            ­                    a different kind of beautiful.

   And finally, love her.
  Like a boy loves a girl
Till she finally remembers
                                            that that's what she is:
                                          not a scar, not a goddess,
                                             not a star. But a girl.
                                                           ­                         That deserves to be loved.