I cant fight any more.... I'm done.
My own mind assaults me and it knows my weaknesses.
The gaping wounds in my thoughts are constantly re-opened.
I wonder which side of sanity I live on and I despair....
What if I am sane?
What if this is reality and my vision clear?
My refuge then must surely be insanity?
Or am I already there?

I told you that you should always be
thankful, things are getting
better, the process
is just rather slow,

and I told you that the proof lies
in the fact that you still have some
sanity left today,
if things weren't getting better,
then what else
could you be holding onto?

‘it’s always nighttime in prison’
they tied their feet together;
every vowel lives on
until the morning sun hithers

pages thrown to sea,
the deep blue churns recklessly
their hearts are the coldest stones
they have thrown right at me.

he would carry on his back
a piece of the burning sun
and after the ink runs out
would he escape and run

his brothers will never wait
inscriptions he made will eventually fade
horror rots upon the walls of his brain
but poetry will keep him sane.

My chemical imbalances
Make me unstable
Releasing pieces of my mind
So I'll become stable
Still calculating the halflife
Of my sanity
Alpha, beta or gammma,
Would not catorize me

In a winter reflection, through a cage of ice,
I watch a shadow of myself love you.
From a sunken place, I’m stuck,
Endlessly pacing within my head,
I’m stuck, a lonely, hungry tiger.
The coldness fills me slowly
as I watch you from my prison.
The bars to my cage pretend to bend,
but it is only a trick of the sun.
I refuse to leave the cage
even though I have the key,
for safety
for sanity
for selfishness
I swallow the key often.
The cage will melt eventually
so I will wait until then,
It is hard to hate for so long
in conditions like this
where every day the water freezes
and unfreezes and freezes.
It is hard to hate when her hands melt the ice.
Love freezes the pain and drips away everything else
Into the gutter, but the sun always falls, still.

And I find it so hard to search for words to say
That my sanity went down the drain
Like the leftover soap seeping off my hair
It stings my eyes and turns me blind
The monster picks the moment like a greedy child picking a flower
It closes my throat so oxygen is a word I can't remember anymore
Thoughts drip down my body and I find myself drowning in the condensed walls of my mind
With damp fingers I try to reach for a strategy
But I seem to have lost my sanity