Some days, the emptiness isn't even obvious. You're brushing your teeth or putting on your favorite denim jacket or adjusting your wristwatch and it's there, lurking and you don't mind at all. It almost feels normal. Right, even.

But there are days and nights — mostly nights, when it feels colossal, you can't ignore it. There are times when it stares back, it's impossible to pretend it's not there. There are times when it feels out of place and you just sort of wanna dig for what's dead inside, or claw through your ribcages, or crack your chest open — anything, just to get it out of you.

It hurts the most,
You were never mine.
I constantly think of you,
But you were never mine,
I wished I'd be the Apple of your eye,
But you've had all the girls,
And you were never mine.
I feel the pain of a million lifetimes,
Of me loving you and you dropping me like a dime.
I've cried ponds, into rivers,
Deep and blue like oceans and seas is how deeply I feel for you.
Knowing you were never mine and pretending to be yours.
Sadly hanging on your words like naive girls for boys.
I release you into the eternity to find the love of which you speak.
I release you into eternity, where you can love everyone but me.
It hurts the most when you were never mind.
I spent lifetimes blindly trying to open your eyes.

C.T. Wordz

I'm not a sad girl
but sometimes
I am sad.

To my brain: "It's sad when the person who mean a lot to you is now becoming a stranger in you life."
Friends and heart: "Try to talk to him, try to fix your mistake, try to tell him what you feel for them, try everything to not let them go."
Me: " I did try, but nothing works. Everything it goes wrong."

I guess it was obvious to an outsider looking in
These rose colored glasses nearly blinded me
My personal psychic predicted down to the hour
I took it as a suggestion
                                      And not the best lead  i've ever had
I think an upstream swim is fun
nearly drowning is my specialty

she was a rose
a near dead one
her petals are wilting

she’s out of water
she needs to be protected
for she is a rose

a rose who needs love
a rose who has been
stepped on again
and again and again

this poor flower
has been through
so much that it’s
nearly dead after
only living a sad
short life