Life will keep running,
even after you've asked it
to please slow down
because you are having a hard time
keeping up
and your lungs feel
as though they might collapse
any moment

You are not the conductor
on the Train of Life,
nor do you have the power
to tell Him
which direction to go
when there comes a fork
in the tracks

Life has many doors
for which you do not
hold the key
and sometimes
we need to wait
for someone to come out
so we can slip inside

Lucky for us,
while we have a coach
who gives us a play,
it is the players who have
to carry it out
and there is always
the opportunity
to make a change

I've always had itchy feet
Never can sit still
Or let the soles of my shoes fuse to the ground

I keep my home around my neck
Wear it in a golden heart shaped locket
I misplaced my compass but never lost myself

I crave the ground passing beneath my feet
Beneath wheels and airplane shadows
I measure my age in miles acquired

I've seen the Milky Way from every angle
And swam in every sea
I keep going, going, going
And I never stop to wonder what I'm running from

O woe this tragedy
Where hast thou brought me!

The environment is hostile,
The colors are so pale.

Take me somewhere special,
Some place to regale.

I'll follow thee
'til I fall weak in the knee,
In thine grace I trust.


O heavens behold!
The devil's own betrothed!

Thou burnest mine eyes,
On thine judgement my gayness relies,

So take me, oh trusted bird,
To a place nor burned, nor churned.

I'll follow thee
'til I lose ability to see,
In thine grace I trust.


In all my heart I dread,
Here is so wide spread

That many may see me.
A heinous curse! I can no longer flee.

Find me one more homely
So I might not feel so lowly.

I'll follow thee
'til I lose all sense in me,
In thine grace I trust.

This can’t be healthy how I keep blaming everyone,
for the problems I set in motion
It was my own fault
and I couldn’t see the storm coming
but instead of facing it like a man,
I ran like a coward, came back to redeem myself
and as you can see I lost
  
With every scream and stand for pride
I lost who I was on the inside
So I don’t want to die
but one day I just might
and just know before that day I will make things right
  
It’s all trapped in my head
Who I used to be
It nags just like an echo
What I wouldn’t give to make it stop
and create the beautiful picture I long for
  
I don’t have much of a soul anymore
So insensitive when friends try to tell me stories
I act like I’m so much better,
like what I have to say is all that matters
I don’t care about anyone but myself and at times I can’t even look in the mirror...
When my love turns to hate it’s hard to face the day
  
Fire consumes me, hell bound
but I must fight this
Born to lead and I have people who look up to me
I’m just so tired of being sorry and tired of being sick
I want to fight for those that need me
I want to start keeping my promises

The chase ends
when you stop running
from yourself.

My mother was my first coach
With blonde hair
Boy cut

And big arms
Mama arms
That held the whole world once

Teaching me fast pace
Before baby steps, baby steps
Until you catch your breath.

Then Medina
With deep laughter
He made us tell jokes
To get out of push ups

He stuck out his hand
At the end of the chain link fence
Where I spat my blue gum out
Into his dark, and rounded palms

That led up to his yellow
Menger Cheetah  
Cut off t-shirt
In the form of a tank top now

Insisting that I don't choke
While I
Breathe deep

In through your nose and
Out through your mouth.

Berkopes was bald
Like a military man

The boys said
From action movies

He smiled wide
As deep as he pushed

Toes
Toes
Toes

Up the hills
Behind the middle school
In the cool of
White morning
Over dew dropped grass.

Wingfield had short,
Dark hair
And my favorite
Green
For eyes

She had soft cheeks
Freckled
With a heavy stare

Eyes up
Knees up
Shoulders back and down.

Carter came easy
With t-shirts
And bike handles

Pushing up one hill
16X100
In mid September
He said
You're a natural

Teach your muscles to work when they're tired
Three steps faster and hold that pace.

The fastest kid I ever knew
With hair longer than my own
And a pink head band

He'd run six miles before he met me for our five

Dropping back to pace
He said it was all about staying relaxed

Potato chips
Between fingertips

Breathe deep

Because
It's all about
Staying relaxed.

Heart pounding
Arms pumping
Adrenaline rushing
Breathing rushing
Legs rushing
I'm rushing
Away from all that ever
Was
Is
And will be

Sailing across a field on a machine of pure iron
He carries your weight as though,
you were merely a fly on his shoulder.
Pulsing in your veins echos the thunder, of each
consecutive hoof as it strikes the Earth in turn.
The wind taring at your skin.
Your eyes water painfully with its vengeance.
The land fly's by in fades of greens and blues
Time stands still and the world tips on end.

©  Crystal Erickson

Time to stop running
It's time for me to face the truth.
Look away from my reflected hate
Forget all the painful loss
Realize that-
Nothing is ever going to work out for me,
But it's the same for most people
So hell,
I might as well try
To live a decent life.