I exist
No matter what...
Despite...

I exist
Fearlessly,
Securely,
Confidently,
Rightfully,
Claiming my space in the universe
I exist...because
I AM.
And I cant be anything else other than ME.

In the past
People used my past to control me
But I’m past that so I smack back  
What they told me.
Try to hold me back
But you can’t tack a label
On a fable, I’m a legend
Even if you say I’m unstable.
If in competition, they done lost to me
Take a shot at me, you intelligence apostasy.

Mockingly, they call me an oddity
Probably a product of my comedy
Step back, laugh, then step on me,
See, free entertainment for the public glee!
“Gee, why the negativity?” they say to me
But I am not listening, glistening
In my eyes, but it ain’t tears
Fears, I forgot ‘em, buried ‘em last year.

God knows I've tried
to give my all.

All I wanted was to
find love, but every
brush with reality

turned into a shattered
dream.

I ask myself why
do I even try,

When I end up
searching for love,

I just get myself
hurt every time.

I keep wondering why
I even try at all.

I remember the pain
Of heartbreak under
My sleeve,

a year of turmoil,
that leaves me
wondering

If I will find love
at all.

There were lessons
I have learned, and

God knows I've tried
to give my all.

All I can say is:

I'm trying my best to
stay strong.

if you stay in
your own head

the memories,
faded, might

leave you
in dread.

consuming,
just torturing
yourself

simply feeling
hopeless, and
angry instead.

it's not worth
putting yourself
through this

even if life's
a little complicated.

look with your
eyes, not
all hope is lost.

even in the
darkest places,

the light will
shine bright
when you need
it most.

I used to see
the world in  
black and white

Always thinking of  
the best or the worst,
falling apart.

But here I am, surviving  
and I'm hoping to save myself
first.

Always followed
by my footsteps,

I’m haunted by a
never-ending dream
that puts reality to the test.

Haunted by the ghost of a
past state  

I hope to never
become again.

I’ve hit my lowest  
of lows, and all I  

Need is some reassurance,
that everything will be  
more than fine

Because I don’t  
want to fall apart
anymore.

I used to see
the world in
black and white.

Always thinking of  
the best or worst,

But lately, it feels
I was handed a lifeline

and my world suddenly
opened

When I met you.

I used to see
the world
in black and white

But together,
we'll color the world,
one hopeful brush at a time.

Heart beat,
bruised bittersweetened, bent;
passion’s capillary action
relaxes then contracts again-
a seed beneath,
muscle fatigued,
toils and spends;
roots, a web of arteries extend,
branching tree stemmed,
leaves shedding red oxygen;
veins shredded to the thread,
frayed strands bleed,
unweave and unhem;
rivulets spill, unquenched,
hemorrhaging hands,
their fingers search to mingle, blend;
a crimson cardiac attack, defend-
for a moment, pressure wavering, suspends,
then pulled back, we cauterize
and mend our loose ends;
every line a vine of growth we tend-
surrounding blossoms rose gardens.

the protea magnifica
or queen protea
as it is also known
is a south african flower
of which until recently
i was shamefully unaware
a sprawling shrub
of varying height
dependent upon
influences of its growth
but a hardy plant
nonetheless
able to survive
and to thrive
under the starkest
of conditions and habitats
its flower is not delicate
like many others
but a symbol of survival
of resilience and growth
its boldest of blooms
an array of brightest hues
sending a message
of strength and power
courage and hope
yet the tightly held
closed cup of its petals
suggests a reluctance
to be noticed
an uncertainty
of it's own true beauty
perhaps in comparison
to its kingly namesake

Hardship made the lines in her face deeper.
Cries echo as she stares bleakness in the face.
It is strength, but the kind of strength
That was worn down and beaten up.

She is the remains of a forest fire.

She is the mountain cliffside that still stands
Once the stones come crashing down.

There is no hope in the land where she lives.
There is, however, hope in her.

She must go on.

Again and always, she must go on.

In the depths of my desolate heart, hope once bloomed,
As this wretched year began, dreams were entombed.
But fate's merciless hand extinguished each flame,
And sorrow's torrent drowned the embers of my name.

Undervalued and dismissed, I stand with weakened knees,
In the eyes of my in-laws, cast adrift on desolate seas.
Bound by archaic customs, they deem me unworthy,
Their prejudiced whispers, like poisoned arrows, scurry.

My family, a sanctuary now shattered and torn,
In my hour of despair, their absence leaves me forlorn.
For this year held my dearest wish, an eternal vow,
To wed my beloved, only to witness it disavow.

To birth "100EMPIRE," my envisioned realm so grand,
And ascend the celestial staircase, hand in trembling hand.
My hopes soared high, envisioning the tender embrace,
Of my twin kids, a radiant legacy, now lost without a trace.

Why must love's drapery be woven with blades?
Why must I dwell in this labyrinth of guilt and shades?
April's haunting shadows unveiled tragedy's play,
As daylight thieves pillaged my life in brazen display.

They devoured my savings, my livelihood, my soul,
Debt's merciless grip, an ever-tightening toll.
Lost in a void, my spirit crumbles and quakes,
Rent's relentless arrival, a desperate plea it makes.

Yet, in this abyss, I muster courage to defy,
To find solace within, and let teardrops run dry.
For within the darkness, a fragile flame still gleams,
Believing in miracles, where despair redeems.

My testimony, will etched in scars deep and profound,
It shall resonate through tears, a symphony unbound.
Though this treacherous path threatens to consume,
I will rise with hope's anthem, through the tempest I loom.

From the ashes of sorrow, I will rebuild my torn soul,
Through anguish and torment, my redemption will take its toll.
Resilience will becomes my guide, through the tears that flow,
In the depths of despair, hope's gentle whispers grow.

For even amidst the void, tears reveal their worth,
Unleashing an ocean of grief, sorrow's poignant birth.
In this final act, I shall transcend pain's harrowing abyss,
Embracing rebirth, as tears cleanse, renew, and kiss.