In the black, humid tunnels of clouded vision
where pipers are paid to hush calamity
and the souls of skeletons adhere to forbidden
pushing whispers of thought's public opinion.

The alluring alley of cowardly escapades
alters narrow minds and their sinuous route
like bipolar magnets fluxing compass charades,
coordinates spin during times of solitude.

To dampen the thunder in mental basements
brewing like home-kit craft beers,
the lightning strikes and fear laments
after an ****** of resentment.

Big unwieldy reputation
Every time I take a step it’s a big conversation
But nobody ever wants to talk about the real me
And once upon a time, I had someone by my side
But I learned long ago real friends are hard to come by
Well, if good people are hard to find that must be why trust is even harder
Big unwieldy reputation
And people who want to play like adults but are scared like children
Because they’ve learned nothing in life is ever, not even close
And they know every move you make enlarges your reputation
No, no, no, it doesn’t matter if it’s true
It matters if it’s good; it matters if it’s exciting
Because we are a ruthlessly sick crowd craving a taste of excitement
Which is why we all get left with a big unwieldy reputation.
Big unwieldy reputation.

An integral trait
that protected and built
in her, withers.
Curses slowly slithers
off her tongue
leaving her soul stung,
for she swore never to say
on any day.

Reputation tarnished;
label faded;
mind polluted,
for she no longer felt demure
and pure.

Enticed by the modern world;
contamination injects,
mutating and leaving her
not able to recognize herself.
For now she stares in the
restroom mirror,
shedding tears
over her shedding skin.

The Game…by Jessie 4/06


Jessie was a quick draw; Learned when he was young
Swore he’d never fear a man, first he’d touched a gun
Made his name, by the age of twelve
After shooting two old men
One of them his father
The other just for grins
Every time he shot a man
Another notch, was on his belt
Swift and deadly vengeance
The quick draw Jessie dealt
At sixteen, his gun for hire
Money did he make
Town to town he traveled
Dead bodies in his wake
At twenty two his name, was on every gunmen’s lips
They tracked down Jessie, relentlessly
Guns tied low on all their hips
Knowing if they killed him
His reputation theirs
Jessie faced them one by one
Come and **** me if you dare
By thirty-three, he grew weary
Of all the blood he shed
Seeing all the faces that ****
Crowed in his head
He swore he’d never **** again
Hanging up his guns
South across the Rio Grand
To the land of the setting sun
Life had changed for Jessie
A farmer he became
Getting marred, having kids
Peace was now the game
But just because you run
Doesn’t mean that you can hide
A sixteen year old came into town
A gun hanging on his side
Are you Jessie? The boy asked
It’s time for you to die
Boy…do yourself a favor
Get on your horse and ride
I’m the fastest gun around
The boy made the claim
You killed my father years ago
To you I’ll do the same
Jessie put down his little boy
And pushed away his wife
Stepped out into the street
Then said…go ahead and take my life
I have no gun, so take your shot
You’re sure to have your ****
Seventeen years from now
You too will lose your will
Jessie words just fell
Then, an echo from a shot was heard
Time had stopped, no one had blinked
Nothing even stirred
Jessie’s son had found his gun
Soon, came running back
Stood behind the sixteen year old
And shot him in the back
A thud was heard as the boy fell
His face lay in the sand
Blood was pouring out of his mouth
Twitching from his hands
Jessie looked right at his son
He didn’t look the same
Holding out that smoking gun
Now, he too was in the game.

Big unwieldy reputation
Everytime I take a step it’s a big conversation
But nobody ever wants to talk about the real me
And once upon a time I had someone by my side
But I learned long ago real friends are hard to come by
Well, if good people are hard to find that must be why trust is even harder
Big unwieldy reputation
And people who want to play like adults but are scared like children
Because they’ve learned nothing in life is ever, not even close
And they know every move you make enlarges your reputation
No, no, no, it doesn’t matter if it’s true
It matters if it’s good; it matters if it’s exciting
Because we are a ruthlessly sick crowd craving a taste of excitement
Which is why we all get left with a big unwieldy reputation.
Big unwieldy reputation.

when our eyes first met i was taken to another world
you have a galaxy hidden beneath the soft ocean blue
waiting to be discovered by those who look beyond the surface

you are not who your pretend to be (most people aren’t)
instead you are a boy who’s been hurt to many times
i can see it in the bags under your eyes and the cracks in your lips

you are lost.  i can tell by the way you stumble around
looking for comfort in people who aren’t worth your time
and leave you broken, in pieces

the others talk about you a lot but
do not worry about your reputation, darling
it’s just hard for them to understand

the world has beat you down. you are so young yet so hurt.
it’s hard, i know it’s hard to keep going but please do
hold on for a little while longer, because it gets better i promise

hold on for me

Gusto ko ng panibagong balat.
Iyong maputi at makinis.
Mala porselana,
Na halos kuminang tuwing masisinagan ng araw.
Kabisado ko ang bilang ng araw,
Na ginugugol sa ilalim ng araw kakabanat.

Ngunit,
Ang panibagong balat,
Hindi nito ako kayang protektahan, alam ko.
Lilimitahan lamang nito ang mga nalalaman ko.
Ngunit,
Sa panibagong balat, nais ko magsimula.
Kilalanin at kalimutan ng halos magkasabay,
Ang imahe ng nakakadiri kong balat.

Bilang ang peklat.
Sukat ko kung gaano kalalim ito,
Noong sugat pa lamang.
Kaya ko gusto ng bagong balat para pagtakpan ito.
Baka sakaling iwasto ng bago kong balat,
Ang mga naimali ko.

Makikilala kaya ako ng ibang tao,
Sa bagong balat na suot ko?

Marahil hindi,
sana hindi,
panigurado hindi.

Nais kong magtago,
Sa paraan kung paano ako lulutang ng hubo't hubad.
Nang hindi ko na itatakip,
Ang aking palad sa aking dibdib,
Dahon sa ibaba ng puson.

Isisigaw ko ang salitang "PUTA!" ng napakalakas,
Halos magsisilabas
Ang mga putang mismong makakarinig,
At yayakapin ko sila.

Dahil bago ang balat ko, ito'y mainit.
Kumpara sa nahamugan kong balat kagabi.
Malinis,
Kumpara sa balat kong may dampi ng mabahong laway.
Mabango,
Kumpara sa mumurahing aficionado na nahaluan
Ng pawis ni Ricardo kagabi.

Bagong balat.
Ibebenta ko ang luma kong balat,
Sa gabing ito.
Bilhin mo ang aking balat.

May panibago bukas,
Pag-asa, hamon,
Mantikilya sa loob ng pandesal.

Gamit ang luma kong balat,
Makakabili pa ba ako ng bago?

Magkaiba ang bagong uri sa bagong palit.
Ang balat ko, nalaspag na.
Tulad ng puti kong damit,
Hindi na ito puti.

Marumi ang titig ko.
Marumihin ang aking naisuot.
Ang balat ko ay puno ng mantsa,
Ngunit bago ang aking suot ngayon, bagamat,
Iisa parin ng uri.

Balat na nakalaan para ulitin ang pagrumi at
Yurak sa puti kong suot.
Bagong balat, kulay puti.
Wala na akong maisuot.

Hubad na ang aking puri.
Hindi ko masuot ang salapi.
Magkano pera mo? Tara?
Nais mo bang makita ang aking balat?