The melancholy melody that resonates
throughout every numbed neuron.
"Memories feel like weapons."
like anchors weighing down any sense of rationality
Like a drug warping the surroundings of my desolate reality
I cling to my arsenal for dear life
I reside in these recollections where I knew I was loved
Where I was cared about
Was valued
was seen.
Instead of the soul crushing uncertainty I reside in now
Where I get thrown back into frigid winds after finding
any semblance of warmth
Where loneliness still creeps in with company
when you have to question motivations
of every single action
but the memories are so enticing
Because all these questions are instantly answered
with the ghost of a smile
the remembrance of a gaze
of arms wrapped around in a tender embrace
and reassuring words.
But reminiscing quickly turns deadly
as the grief that soon follows swallows me whole
"Memories feel like weapons"