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I just need some quiet
Some peace
Because these voices are screaming at me tearing me apart
Just one day to not be told how worthless I've become
These voices are tormenting me making me insane
I just want some peace and quiet
Even just one day
Self talk, our own demise
Alone, though I've caused myself to be
Bitter, weak, & fragile. It's just hollow inside of me
Confused by how I got here, or who I am today
Determined to do better in every single way
Although it feels over I have a long way left to run
Eventually I hope I'll understand what it's all been for
Fresh & ready to face whatever comes my way
Glints of me keep poking through
Hiding
It's overwhelming just how overbearing I've become
Just a little further, I'm sure my day is done
Lost confused changed by lust and love unable to let go
The pain stings deeper than ever before
I'm not sure what I've done in this life or a past life to get dealt this hand
The winds howl, as the storm surges on inside of me
I just want to burry myself then keep on digging
Because maybe the darkness or silence will accept me
Maybe I cant fight anymore
Forgetting what it was I was even fighting for
Because I loved,
Oh my God did I love
Without boundaries or false pretence
With pure acceptance and irrefutable forgiveness
The love was pure
The pain that drives into me, will send me to madness
I want to be missed like I miss you Because by God do I miss you
Where is my silver lining
Love lost
Sarah Mulqueen Dec 2020
Pained with a sadness I have never known
A dagger driving into the core of my soul
As I let go of everything
Yet a calmness washes over me
Something guiding me
Its not my own
I'm noticing things differently
The way the breeze dances softly with everything it touches
The scents that are heightened
The smell of rain before the storm
Clipped grass on a hot summers day
Perfume that lingers long after they've gone
I'm not in a daze
simple pleasures are filling me with more
I don't have to be ok
I'm not sure I ever will be the same again
Love lost and shared, can rupture your entirety
Sarah Mulqueen Oct 2020
I miss you
Not just in the physical sense
In every sense of the word

Your unique way of doing things, its like watching a symphony of noise
You're either in complete harmony with it
Or consistently fighting against it

Your laugh
Oh your laugh
It fills my whole body with warmth
A sound I crave to hear

The smell of the top of your head, comforts me
Like a mothers embrace, I know I am safe

Day to day living never felt less mundane
Always helping wherever we felt we could
Exploring, guiding each other
Always finding refuge in one another

Life is not the same without you
Never will be without you
The emptiness, at times consumes me
Swallowing me whole
The crator you've left within me
Can only be filled by you

I hope
I have to hope
When your faced with decisions you can't control
Sarah Mulqueen May 2020
Sometimes
I burn a little inside,
The pain
It strikes me, dives right into my core
I smile a little shakily
Talk a little less
So that others don't fear my sadness, offer sympathy on a platter

Sometimes
I need 8 coffee's
Just to start my day
I can't get up with a spring in my step or just pass the time away
My shoulders are tight
My limbs are heavy
I just want to get on with my day

Sometimes
I try with all my might
Still fragile
With a flicker of hope to make it through today
Sarah Mulqueen May 2020
If the Sun didn't shine
And the Grass didn't grow
I'd be filled with sorrow
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