I get drunk on your hot summer sky eyes.
I get drunk on their sultry, reckless, bright
reminder of a fresher world when
we hollered off wind-swept cliffs and panting
ran heart-bursting through wild open spaces
when the world was new and strange but entire
-ly ours to command.
I got drunk on you.

Thanks for listening, though I'm only writing this because I've assumed you're filtering all my e-mails into your trash. Who can blame you?

I am remembering the time we went to Lost Bar and then walked around my neighborhood for awhile. It was Spring, wasn't it? 2013. It was one of the few times we had fun together after actually going out. I remember that we returned home and as I was walking out onto the patio I said something about how I would probably never get married, because I can't handle the seriousness of forever monogamy and the weight that it carries. The limitations, the non-mystery. Such casual bluntness, unfiltered by my self-proposed life expectations or indirect efforts to keep you around, both of us hoping. Wishing.

I'm slowly realizing that we had a friendship. Somewhere in there, under the jealousy and resentment and the mismatch of our personalities within the confines of cohabitation and romantic expectations. Our breakup was inevitable. But there were parts of us that I'm glad I saw.

My habits are the same.
I hope you are well.

These winds on that late evening sunset,
Bringing wisps of the broken past.
Atop the concrete terrace did I sit,
Watching the heaviness ebbing away.
Far away did they go,
With these winds that rushed past me.
To the abode of entombed dreams,
Where the land never meets the horizon.

Walking through the rainy streets.
Puddles filled with muddy waters
Waters that don't reflect anything but happiness
Setting out paper boats again
Dancing like no one watched
And frankly, we didn't even care
And the smokes and the mist
Galaxies formed somewhere here on Earth today.

The same miseries I sing, Have you ever come around?
Do you paint me found in that easel were the lost abound?

If I sing into that sunken town,
its dirt roads and wastelands of old clothes,
Will I but call the animals of the fall,
will the angel's toes enter the mad ball,
The stagnant paroxysm stuck in a still frenzy

will the wolves in howl drown my call
make my dream a figment doubly null
If I sit like a shadow, can they suffer a reflective maw
glisten again, like children with sunlit pearls

The intoxicating rave is over
She's no petals to throw you
sickened and befallen with you
she's fancied a plague of you
I am at every end

Run till you comprehend
your feet are dry as I've wept instead
Red footprints are letters in my head
I'll follow you to the place we met

I'll decide to sit,
everytime
I'll fall for the smile
I'll stare in the awkward way
you'll put me in the end

forever and once again

my dear... walk by once again.

Sitting here alone
in an empty, tranquil room
I've got nothing left to fear
than time itself colliding

I entered the phase
and went back in time
those teary-eyed souls
helpless and desperately calling

A heart who seeks revenge
being repainted from time to time
All the chaos it has encountered
tragedies, death, and sorrow

Although happiness fills in,
it overflows and bursts
An unfathomable hole
where the beast loves to creep

Eye to eye, we gazed
there, it struck me
This phantom I only met
by then took my awakening

Out of the blue, they came
their voices growing louder
serenity is fading
My solace, abruptly chopped.

Apart in my lust
I separate
Disconnect
Break

There’s an infinite space where these fingers once entwined
I rise above my own flesh just to watch it die

Languorous apathy
I slept as death whispered
Through the murk of my self-inflicted
Desolation
Regressing until my heart withered from its bones

the distance is sickening
and I wonder if my breath ever travel
to reach you
I wonder if we kissed
during the dull nights
when you said it will be okay
and everything's going to be alright
and you were here and you stayed
where are you now?
are you still breathing?
do you miss me as much as
the stars glow in my lonely night?