Do you still remember how you would take silly pictures of me just trying to get my attention so I'll do back the same too? I miss that feeling

Do you still remember you asking me if im hungry? So caring.

Do you still remember we would always eat ice cream after our meals? You love those chocolate cone.

Do you still remember bringing me for a ride to the place i requested? That's where we talk about our life.

Do you still remember you would bring me to your friend's event even though im not invited? Sorry for making you left out.


Do you remember helping me to clean my small wound and place a plaster for me?

Do you still remember you came down to my place? We ate dinner together that day.

Do you still remember making breakfast for me? It felt like im happiest ******* earth.

Do you still remember i dozed off at ur bed and woke up in the middle of a night finding for you and straight texted you asking you where were you? You were eating at the kitchen, i was worried.

Do you still remember you would make sure i have enough money to go home and make sure im home safely?

Do you still remember how many times i made you sad?

Do you still remember what's the promises you made before we cut contact?

Do you still remember you hugged me that one night and i hugged it back tightly didn't want to let go? I didn't want you to see me crying it hurts because i know no matter how much i try its never ur expectations.

Do you remember those promises?
I always broke ur promises

But i kept one of our promises till today. I promised you I will never leave, i promised me, i promised us

Till today im still waiting, been a year dear.

What happened to the promises that you say you're gonna prove to me?
Bring me back to the moment even if its for awhile.

Oh, you poor old soul
Wandering this Earth alone...
Remember:
you'll have an end
And you'll meet it
all by yourself, 
with no friend.

Remember you'll die.

Come out now, I beckon and coax.

Turmoil; twisted and tethered,
like tendrils on my subconscious.

They grip.

It's my only goal to make them slip, unclip, and submit.

I am to wash away all negativity and dismay, to make my world anew by light of day.

In my mind, my soul, my body, my whole; these things I will not let stay.

walking with you beside me
my heart can't help but smile
i just wanna lay with you
and talk for a while
arms around me
you just astound me
angelic is the word for you
i wanna mean the world to you
darling your smile
makes it's own light
there's something about you
that makes it all alright
maybe someday you'll remember
my touch, light like a feather
drawing hearts all over your skin
darling won't you let me in
again

Another night, taking the dog out, headphones in, the moon's glare in my eye. Like a limelight.
A moment clear as I walk down the flight of stairs, and everything around suddenly becomes like stone, to sand. My clarity becomes fleeting..
again.
My delicate heart could cease on this midnight walk beneath this warm glow, and would anyone know?

Would even I, know?

Memory loss;
I know you're serious,
but every time you try to speak to me
I'm dropping words and sounds
like an imaginary hot potato,
thrown to me by a very rude child
who thinks making me lunge a thought
away from me counts as being safe.

I know you said something,
sounded like white noise,
sounded like the conversation
I think we're having right now,
I'm behind five sentences,
or maybe five minutes,
something there sounds about right.

Keep speaking, I can only hope to catch up,
this constant amnesia is aching
and my head is in a fog,
but I know you're serious
and you said something, something...
memory loss.

What failures
oh the failures of leaving home at seventeen
of living and thriving as a minority foreigner
of working and studying to post-grad levels
of maturing wonderfully and being up and decent
of loving and marrying and creating a good home
of no crime, no debts, not a drunk, not a player
of no stained reputation, no borrowing or theft
of being easy-going, nice and friendly, an all-rounder
what failures
the failure of being successful and capable in grace
the failure of doing so well a white neighbor burgled
the failure of saying that's not right, you're rotten thieves
the failure of standing up to bullying thieving mobs
the failure of being gangstalked and destroyed
the failure of being an educated professional black
the failure of being a solid, courageous, wholesome man
the failure of knowing you can't do wrong and get by
Ladies and Gentlemen
these are my failures
Its all there in black and white
its the failure of being a minority
In the british democracy of the Socialists
for it is greed to work hard and be successful
its a failure for blacks to aspire and do well when your white
neighbor is a drunken, welfare dependent waster and thief
And Blacks beware, for if you dare tell them to go change
you will be stalked, hounded, smeared, defamed, humiliated
harassed, bullied, slandered, sabotaged, and basically driven to
suicide or a breakdown
They manufacture Failures to reflect their own failures
They call it Trading Places and dish it out to 'Uppity' Blacks