"You said you would be here
through the thick and thin"
My body has been through it
And baby, my patience has been
strung out thin.

Addicts only know themselves best
They can't see you
Only past you
Into a projection of themself.

Back seat passenger
Guiding my relationship habits
The chords
That I play the best.

My go-to comfort
The only way I know to love best
Is a struggling person
In the woes of addiction.

One part - my mother's enabling
Another piece - my father's vice
Final product - my veins collected
as proof in a messy affair.

Doomed to repeat;
try holding things together
while they slip between my fingers.
Hoping for different results.

Every. Single. Time.

I do wonder.
If I may possibly be...
Cursed?

Maybe,
Don't develop feelings anymore,
We're trapped in,
Insanity...

You talk to someone.
You get interested.
You start to get feelings,
But out of respect,
You hold them back.
We talk a lot,
Then out of nowhere,
A shift in the world...

Either one or both of these...
You get bored of me,
You see that I'm just,
For you.
Or...
You find someone,
I no longer catch your eye.
Yet for both,
It's just zero communication.

So now I have all this,
Small information of you,
Making me once again,
Get upset about being,
Too interested,
In making someone
Smile.

I guess I must be,
Cursed.