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I know you loved me because
You taught me the solace in solitude
Acting as a protector from
The parts of you that were
Waiting under your skin
To leave me broken
Poetic T Nov 2014
My angel always by my side
You have shown me how to be
Respectful,
Helpful,
Truthful
Through my childhood days,
He would tell me stories
When I was down, tears would fall
Upon  that  sorrowful day  tears came around,
My parents would see me
Hugging,
Silent,
Tears
Flowed always out of view,
My angel would wipe away
The sorrow, turning tears
In to snow flakes that floated slowly around
Me
&
You
I could see your outline where the snow flakes fell,
I would stick out my tongue to try & catch a few.
My parents catching a view
"If you keep that funny face it will stick"
Everybody laughed,
I played
Hide
&
Seek,
My brotherly angel would be sneaky
I though I had found him giggling
but he could walk through walls,
"My brother"
"My angel"
"My hero"
You were there for me in life,
And now your my guardian angel
I miss you,
Mum
&
Dad
Miss you now that your gone,
"But your still here"
My invisible friend, My brotherly angel
Always here when needed, I so happy your still in my life.
You entered my life in a blink of an eye.
One moment you weren't there the next you were.
How was I know to know what you would become, that you would become my prince, my knight in shining armor?
It started so innocently and grew into something so much more.
A few years went by and you made me your queen. Oh how lucky I was.
You always try to protect me from the evils of the world. You hold me in your strong arms and tell me you have me and that everything will be alright that I just need to be strong.
There in lies the problem, I am not as strong as you. I never will be. I try and try but I do not a have a strong shield like you. So I count on you my knight probably more than I should to help shield me.
I am fragile. Easily broken, but you , you always put back the pieces  when I break apart. My love, my life ,my knight, my KING! For that I will always love you. Love your fragile queen
Elioinai Oct 2014
Oh Keeper of my heart,
Massage to soul I bruised,
Stay my masochistic hand,
Stop me from throwing rocks,
At my own glass chest.
Help me to see the unfading beauty,
You made me to be.
You commanded me to do away with fear,
And yet here he is at my table.
Peace is by a far a sweeter dish,
And my tongue longs to hold it forever.

Oh Keeper of my heart,
You won’t let it fall,
Or let it be broken beyond repair.
So I may love recklessly,
If I love you the most.

Your peace is like a gentle rain,
Falling on a troubled head,
I must release myself to play in the shower,
And get happily soaked.
May 8, 2012
I used to frequently mentally beat myself up
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Once upon a time...
You & I lived lives divided
Until by fate we were united
When we first lit the fire
Once upon a time
I would watch you from a distance
Desired you, but stayed resistant
To the Urges that would cloud my mind
with Wickedness, persistent

Your perfect fairy wings
Fluttered lightly in the wind
And though I did the best I could
My thoughts were wrought with sin
And I desired you like mad
For the Angel that I had
Left me burning despicably
With wretched flames within

And You
were so
Inviting.
Your Body
Ripe
for the Taking.

Guarded you were
Behind Gates of the Dragon
Yet I watched you intently
Plotting my Ransom
Waiting on the right moment to strike
To steal you away from your
Protected Life
And to take you back with me
Into my Cell
In the dark and abysmal cave where I dwell
To teach you the ways
Us Creatures gain pleasure
To make you my Slave
And to ransack your Treasures
And then came the day
That you broke away
From the Chains
That held you to where you were safe

I saw you
And watched you
and Stalked you
Intently
While you were out searching the world
Innocently
And then,
When you were finally in reach
And we were Alone
I snatched you away
from the flowers and reeds
And stole you back with me
into my home
A cold and depressing
Dungeon of Stone

Your protector was gone
And you were all mine
When we were alone
Lost somewhere in time
And to my shock, and utter surprise
You became the flame that lit up my eyes
And slowly but surely as days slipped by
I became yours more than you became mine

And then, you escaped
or did I let you get away?
You emerged from my cave
Beautiful, unscathed
I just couldn't bring myself
to be one you hate
When your love is so sweet
I just couldn't betray it

But then, I thought
of you out in the world
Alone
On your own
My sweet pixie girl
And I couldn't
JUST COULDN'T
Handle the thought
of a Monster like me
Dragging you through the mud
Coveting you
the way that I do
But most of All
Tasting your Love

Staying put was so much harder than
trying to be your Guardian
and Rescue you
and Shelter you
from any more Hate or Abuse

And now I see my sins
Led me out of the darkness within
Into the sunshine of your life -
Where I found the Source of Light
I needed to keep me alive
And I feel like I owe you my life

And now you're free from my Prison
but I guess, so am I, in essence
In the end, the Fairy
Showed the Goblin,
He longed to be a Prince.
An allegory straight from the heart.
We're going too fast, aren't we?
Too bad you don't have a helmet.
You didn't want one, but I
Guess I lost attention after
Being glad that you made me wear one
Even after my first thought was to jump.

You said slowly, 'you're going to give me a heart attack'
And I said nothing in reply
But I backed away from the edge of the cliff slowly,
Slowly, because it was one thing you wanted
And then I wanted it too.

We aren't even going yet?
Well, ****, I couldn't tell cause the world's already 
spinning
Like it's happening
But is that reality?
Is this reality?

Is this some ****** up last minute dream after hurtling myself,
 unprepared, off a straight-down cliff, and was I just hoping...
Was I just hoping you'd come and save me?
Is that what this is?
Is it?

Cuz for a second, I was both relieved and terrified that it was real.
Both happy and scared shitless.
Better than drugs.
Better than death.
You.

But these things I'll always keep bottled up inside myself because I have
A ridiculous fear of failure, loss, death,
But I guess most of all I fear having to face the world alone again...
It's a selfish thing to say, but you make no comment, you just buckle the helmet down on my chin, pat my head, and sit in front of me.
It occurs to me there aren't any breaks.

We start moving, slow, black and blue dots against an otherwise purple and red horizon. A stain on the Canyons of the Interuniversal Fabric
But you already knew that, didn't you?
It gets faster, faster, but in a slow way. In a blue-and-black-stain-against-a-perfect-regal-horizon way, gradual, but everlasting

'You have nothing to fear from change,'
Your voice, those words, echo in my head
As we ride off into
The sunset that was immortal.
This is just something I put together on ten minutes of sleep. So don't judge.
Poetic T Sep 2014
My shadow
"Where do I start"
Never controlled
Even though a part of me
Trips,
Tricks
Ogling
Up a ****** less skirts
Direct to my cerebral cortex
I walk in to a lamp post
HD fluff is seen
Then stars
(+
   +)
(+
      +)
As my shadow laughs silently,
People not noticing I'm
Standing tall
While my shadow
Bent over,
A wet patch of laughter's tears
Where he has just been seen,
But its not always bad
The bullies used pick on me
Skinny,
Short,
Glasses,
As I could hardly see,
Punched
Kicked,
Spat,
Upon, more times than I could think,
My shadow
In silence,
Shadow boxed the other shadow you see,
Never touched by me,
But felt every hit upon his
Shadow form,
Never did I abuse
Only in self-defence
Would it aid me,
But time moved on
10 years old,
Teens,
Twenties,
Always being naughty
Was he
Laughter he made
But mischievous
Always getting us into mischief,
But He is always with me,
My silent
Friend,
Protector,
Brother,
For though he does not speak,
I know what he means
My shadow and me stuck together
Our secret that no other can see...
Lost Soul Jul 2014
It's all on me...
The hurt the pain give it all to me
I'm the vessel that brings joy
Release the toxins although they might destroy..me
Pain in others is what I don't like to see
Although I hide my pain beneath
I still smile so everyone's breathe can be with ease
But in my heart I'm saying please...
Give me the cure to release these toxins
So I can be free from my conscience
xoK Mar 2014
Tiny wrists.
Tiny rivers of blue.
Translucent.
I'm thinking about making myself a home
Beneath your pale skin.
I'd float along your lazy blue river
Until I make my way to your ghost chest
And burrow myself a tunnel
Deep inside your heart.
Light myself a campfire,
And pitch a tent.
Looks like I'm gonna be here for a while.
I am rocked to sleep with each beat:
Onetwo. Onetwo. Onetwo.
And my heart-house dreams
Intermingle with yours.
Maybe if we dream hard enough,
We can create a world of our own.
Where red blood cells sing like angels
Housed in four chapel-chambers,
And each artery stretches up far
Like a rainforest canopy
Riddled with exotic capillary-flowers.
Can we be safe here?
The heart has tender walls
But it is a soldier.
Though it may be kicked down,
It forges on
And picks itself right back up again.
Always beating,
Always winning.
Your heart is a soldier.
A fighter.
A protector.
I think I feel safe,
For the first time in a long time,
Within the home I've made for myself
Inside of who you are.
LDR life.

— The End —