Do you scrape it
or roll it
pick it
or mold it
when picking at guck?

Do you fold it
or scrunch it
Tear it
or bunch it
when wiping that muck?

Do you flip it
or flop it
hold it or drop it
when dealing with yuck?

Fishing for impudence
looking outside,
all seem so murky
with a dying light,
all seem so monochrome,
with a condescending benight.
Now I am looking closely
and all that I found,
was a hatred very symmetric,
to which I am bound.
Just like the voids
I see in myself,
maybe my lens is too murky,
or my windows blacked out,
but life is miserable
and I see it around.

I often try to deny,
and live like everything’s fine,
but some feelings never settle,
some actions don’t suffice.
I look for answers around
I look for meanings behind,
maybe it’s a different me,
or maybe it’s the defeated mind.
Thoughts never to settle,
when I write sometimes,
but facing your fears,
through the words you write
is more difficult than accepting the light.

I often try to view this,
in a stupidly optimistic hue,
thinking like a flower
proud of its scent and bloom.
Thinking I am unique and
so might be my issues,
but I don’t want to look around
cause inside I know,
I am part of the million others
that bloomed and withered in this garden too.
My problems don’t amount
to the privileges I own,
and pain might be puny
when compared to yours,
but I still get hurt,
even if my problems aren’t new,
I still want to say them,
even when my words are few.

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨.
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨?
𝘉𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘷𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘴?
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦?
𝘖𝘳 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴, 𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴?
𝘚𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵?

𝙉𝙖𝙮!
𝙄 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙩𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤  𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙝  𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣.
𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙠 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨.
𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨.
𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙡𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨.
𝙏𝙖𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚.
𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧,
𝒢𝑜𝒹 𝒹𝑜𝑒𝓈𝓃'𝓉 𝒷𝓊𝓇𝒹𝑒𝓃 𝒶 𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓁 𝒷𝑒𝓎𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝒸𝒶𝓅𝒶𝒸𝒾𝓉𝓎.
𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓏𝑒,
𝐻𝒶𝓇𝒹𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅𝓈 𝓉𝑒𝒶𝒸𝒽 𝓂𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝑜 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝑒  𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒹𝑒𝒸𝑒𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹.