It's not easy admitting the spots of your being
that make you dark.
Sometimes there is beauty in the starry nights
while alluring and alive,
these far away places free the thoughts that cage the mind .

I'll stare and wonder, swirling in the starry luster, light years from my pain
Are my problems, problems at all?
Perhaps life is bigger than the rot cratered in the sands.

The blackened sea so vast and strange
Can calm the smoke of heavy emotions
I'll stand and whisper a simple phrase.
I am not alone

I'm a flesh addict, sporadic, adrenaline, I love being alive
Feel my muscles pumping blood as I run reckless- overdrive
And I cannot wait for the day, I get to say, I had the strength to survive
Like alliteration of insanity, inside of me, I to I!

But my eyes would be deceived if I said I see life like it's perfect
Like a roller-coaster, going through the motions, twists and turns a better way to word it
Take a seat, and sit with me, maybe then we'll be, like minded
Instead of you, like a lost moose, in the headlights: blind sided

I hate pretending, so, here's my raw aggression
I would take a second, to ******* bash your head in
But I don't wanna get physical, with someone so pitiful
Let's just keep it minimal, and indulge the lyrical

On sighting you I feel ******
Pity, anger, and anguish
Bullied by this *****
A year my senior, having kids

I feel hollow like a steel pipe, hurting like a rough night
I pull my smile too tight, to the point I'm  showing pearly whites
My mindset like, dynamite, my rhymes like, to takes lives,
Like a steak knife I'll carve you up
Eat these bullets, desperate lunch!

Now make no mistake
I sharpen dull blades
And I get carried away
******, serial, and maim

Just crunching numbers okay?
Nothing has changed
You're still the same old, same old
Here we go, another bomb falls!

Just an organic robot, blowing off steam
Of flesh and metal, robotic zombie
I see the cogs and the gears but I don't see a spirit
All I see is sheeple living lives like corporate business

Where's the fun in this? Leech the Government
Have a couple kids, and some funding with
A faded side *****, drugs kicking in
Go party hard with all your fake friends

You are not a parent, just a pa for rent
She is not a mother, just another chick
Using all that money to hit another fix
Coz you ain't cool if you ain't staying lit!

And that's just how it is, juvy and pregnant kids
People telling other people that their life's ****
Graffiti tags and spit, violence just a bit
Lost dreams and broken bottles, vanished innocence...

If I lie I'll die
Speak the truth and I'll cry
It's eating me inside
But you don't know why.

I can't let you in
But I want you to know
Even though I'm in pain
I'm doing just fine.

Someone is richer
Someone is prettier
Someone is smarter
Someone is stronger
Someone is better
Someone is more

But no one else is as ****** up as you are.
And that’s why you are special

A box of rusted feelings hides in the salvaged yard of my mind.
Jagged sorrows and broken promises surround the dismembered machinery,
forgotten and guarded.

The old dog with his once beastly growl, no longer cares who leaves or stays.
The dirt below, slowly pulling
forming his final resting place.

Shabby parts like tired looks rot under thunderstorms of powering weather.
Torn threads like once relationships, patched and torn asunder
The Stacks pile high, a top the years of mistakes
The box slowly sinks
heaving more and more heartbreaks