I

If I leave, would you weep?
Would I still be cradling you to sleep?
Or will the thought of me keep you awake?
When I'm gone, would you then know what was at stake?
When I die, you'll see the breeze
Will it make you weak in the knees?
Like maybe I did, one lifetime ago or a half
Or will you blow it a kiss on my behalf?
I don't know how you'll cope,
I don't know who you'll blame.
But of one thing I can assure you-
Nothing will ever be the same.

If I'm gone, will you cry?
Would you mourn, or want to die?
Would you write a rhapsody in my name,
Or accept denial, and call it all a game?
Please don't cry till your eyes are sore..
Accept it! Reality isn't real anymore.
Existence is a sham, now do you see?
Who do you think is dead-
Is it you or Is it me?

II

My eyes are now closing, I see the wind blow
I see the stars and the moonlight put up a fanciful show
Still dreaming of your silhouette waiting by the sea
All of the sensibility dawned upon me-
If and when I'm gone - you wouldn't care
Sure, for 6 days, in the voids you will stare
On day 7, once you down all that caffeine
You won't miss me as me, but as just a change in routine
On day 40, to the memories you'll bid adieu
As day 50 comes by, your life is as good as new

So convince me now,
Before I slash my soul with this knife
That bogus is not the only definition
To my presence in this life
Before your life fills
With unjust guilt, grief, and despair
Please learn to value me-
While I'm still there...

Noisy
  Mind Looping
Looking for its way out
As it feeds on a drama
This is not even mine.

Deep breath.
  A pause.
Some clarity.
  The mind fights.
I'm still here.
In my point of presence.
  Come home.
         We are here now.

It will wash away.
  The waves cleanse
As they reverse away from the coast
the undercurrent pulls
  back
into me.

I AM beholden to no one.
  I AM unto my own.
  I AM here for me.
  As the separation fades.
  I can see.

Death
   but no release
Empty again
  in ever more ways
But it's okay
  Don't be sorry
It's here for me
And I'm not suffering
  Something is happening here
A deeper change
    It brings me into a depth
     a stillness
Can I accept it?
  Am I ready?
    I'm allowing the change.
      cling to nothing.
When I'm silent
    it speaks.
Open up
         Listen.
   It doesn't make sense
But I don't care anymore
   It's just an experience
     in the midst of realization.
I am here
  it can serve me.
It's unpleasant now
  as I breathe my way through
But I can be in grace
as I go beyond
and see another view.

Soft Forgotten Whisper
Caressing the corners of
my truth
Stirring a sweet and gentle remembrance
It goes beyond thought,
mental comprehension,
but a solid knowingness pervades
in the tender sounds of silence
when I allow myself through
the thick façade barricades
that, at times, appear so automatic.
They dissolve, of course
with a sticky residue intact
But that sense seems to grow
Beckoning me with permeating tranquility
Stillness
Radiance
It comes to me, without seeking
I Am here;
I Am home.
Distractions attempt to evade,
through this
I realize
the knowingness does not wane,
steady silent presence
Continuous composure
In awareness.
No thing to grasp ahold
Swimming in serene emptiness
Relaxed into my creation.

I AM here
But what I thought was me is fading
which can be odd at times, to say the least

I AM here
and still living in the shading
of an old design, that's not yet released

I AM here
The many rhythms changing
As the tired identity continues obsolete

Farewell my friend
the dissolution will come to end
Now we are free
As you open up to thee

Acquired form appears ambiguous  
with true biology slightly contiguous
layered together in amalgamation
Antiquated DNA disfiguration

The patterns are broken
dynamic expression
beyond attachment
to any creation
I AM that---
I AM.

Wide open, percolation
I breathe in, my own natural rhythm
I feel my entire being
open -- to myself.

I feel sensations, but it is not dramatic
Sometimes gentle stillness;
Other times, downpours ecstatic

Such fullness, in all that I AM,
And;
Simultaneously empty

I AM here,
             I feel movement
                         As it perfectly gushes through me

An absolute trust
           Not in something else anymore
                     But in who I AM
                             And it never fades

I allow myself now
            My spirit alive,
      Constantly singing
                    the song of my soul

Magic was always real
          Just as I knew
                 A harmonious reunion, here with you
                          As I now live my truth.

the woman in white said to me
“have you not learned?”
she picked up my thoughts with her hands
and held them away from me
so that all that was left was a blank, white, light.

look up at her, holding my thoughts
never realized you are limbo itself
when you reside there

she said
“be here!”
and threw my thoughts back down on me
suddenly i was lying on my bed
one leg under covers
one leg out
cars zooming under my window
sun barely peeking through my blinds.