What if I fell?
What if I fell and never stopped?
Could I fall through time
Could I exist only within myself?
Then what would happen if I did stop?
Suspended in midair,
Would I find beauty or worthlessness?
Would I find life within my reach
Right then and there?
Or would I see that everything is nothing
That I am, yet I am not.
Am I trapped inside my skin?
Am I trapped in a prosthetic body,
A prosthetic society?
If I lay on the ground
And took a breath
Would the world breathe with me?
Could I become a piece of nature
Could I just simply be?
Why do I search for pointless meanings?
If I found the answers, would I be happy
Or even more alone?
Whys and what ifs cloud my head
The haze is a gentle push
To be more than it is that I am
I feel nothing, yet I feel every little thing
Why won't I accept?
Why do I swim in possibilities
That pull me back and forth?
Dancing around in numbness
Yet emotions sit right next to me
Entertaining the idea
That this is all that's left

Blue illuminate
Black conceal
Minutes tick by
Where is fate?

All seems so unreal
In the seconds that fly
Strange, dim light
Unsure of the battles to fight
The foes to be hidden and sly
Or confident and outright

Slip away into sleep
Or rise to face the early dawn?
Fall back into the sweet,
Ever forgiving escape
Or stand and take on what lies ahead
The outstretched hand that can make
Any number of possibilities
From merely that to, instead, realities

To glimpse upon that which may lie ahead,
Or to fall into the tangles of the mind?
To venture forth into that which may become known,
Or to remain entranced in the confines of familiarity?
The answer, the choice to be made
Lies in every dawn.

- Jay M
February 23rd, 2021

Hope is to ignite a spark within, remind us of things forgotten;
of lessons yet to be learned;
of love lost and found in places unforeseen;
of the wonder within each of us;
of who we were, are, and will become;
of the universal rhythm of life that beats within all of us
and of possibilities that reside in an endless tomorrow.

anything is possible. i don't mean this in a good way.

will you look at me while i'm talking?
not like that.
i know you are.
i want you to see me. i want you to keep up.

i could go completely ******* crazy.
i could never speak to any of my friends ever again.
i could join a fundamentalist christian cult.
i could drop out of college.
i could look into the mirror and see my own eyes reflected back to me, or gouge them out to be free of the burden. i could do anything, but it's all a matter of actualization.

you have to know what you're looking for
before you go out to find it.
the story the eyes try to sell you is always leaving something out.
you want this to be easy. you want the mirror to have a purpose.
don't we all?
you want to know what you want, but we are all stumbling blindly through this desert.
alone despite being inches from one another.
i'll try not to get too cocky,
because the only difference between you and me
is concept, language;
life is a whole other beast to cage.

don't get too hung up on definitions.
definitions are for law. this is poetry.
this is me building a mirror just to break it.
it's funny, how that always turns out.
realized desires are boring.
we get what we want
and we break it.
every mirror shatters in the end
and we all die a solipsist,
wanting and narcissistic.

Gone I am
Into the past
Where memories haunt

Gone I am
Into the future
Where possibilities fly

Here I am
In the present
Where I must survive

"Things are becoming good",
What beautiful lines erupt from the wisdom,
Oh!
not from me,
From one who had pree,
Pree myriad possibilities,
Unheralded life proffered serenity.

Visions of days yet to come
Perhaps never at all
Possibilities vary
By the thousands they flow
Ever so hard to let go

Return to a memory
Untold words fall
Right into place
Then they all fall
Into the void
Of the waking world
Back into the mind
Where such things belong

Tales never to be told
In the least never in bold
Perhaps tucked away
Never quite to stay
To be whisked away at a moments notice
Gone away from view
Hopefully not even seen by few
Remembered by none
As all comes undone

- Jay M
December 8th, 2020