Where to begin?
All beginnings must meet their end.
I’m falling in.
Too late to stop this momentum.
Fleeing the ghosts of history.
Silhouettes cloaked in black.
Can’t shake the words that raised me
from life to death and back.
Why speak at all?
Things unspoken can’t be undone.
I’m chasing this.
Who honest claims they never run?
A chance to fight the finish.
This dance may be your last.
No future can convey that
shaped only by the past.
What’s hope but fraud?
Faith in willingness to be won.
I’m looking up.
Praying for breath that’s never drawn.
I came here seeking answers,
But what I sought was gone.
No meaning found in victories,
but in the moving on.
What does it mean?
Nature, nurture, or divine force.
I’m bowing out.
Seeking an end to this discourse.
The loudest form of quiet,
that e’er resounds in me
is in the sound of nothing
where something used to be.
A musing and my interpretation on the self-same titled song by Grieve the Astronaut.
I swallowed the sea
And it was as salty as your lips
And just like the endless forever that falls from them
I was drowning in it
You called my number
And I took it as a sign
Living life free on the wind
And though paths were walked not a footprint remains
All is lost in time and time always wins
Moments make minutes mask months into seasons of lives everlasting
I cherish the wind for the calm only it can bring
And the shoreline renewed by the waves that crash into it
This moment may not last forever
But who can say when moments start or end?
A moment is forever for as long as it’s remembered
Live inside it and you’ll always be in a place you left behind
First comes and then is lost
Broken, bound, and wounded
Heal stronger but never without the scars
Pure dreams forever shaken
A chance shot but not worth taking
Secured oneself at the cost of whats been taken
A life that closes opens another in the making
A little free form piece I wrote while staring out at the sea about the opposing feelings and lessons I’ve learned in life and the way they all balance out dynamically over time.
The thing they won’t say
Is that nothing’s secure
And that no one is sure
What path they should take
That living is hard
When you lead with your heart
Trying to relight the spark
Living life day to day
The road it stretches, endless
Eyes to horizon, left right left
The faces of the many
Still blinded gaze is cast, bereft
So keen and clever-minded
I too, alone, count myself deft
Affixed on greener pastures
Move steadfast on, grieve not what’s left
The voices they cry out
The love they’ll share, devout
Their hearts will they pour out
To lands parched e’er in drought
The sky it rises upward
Nose to the grindstone, *** for tat
Words fall from lips affirming
This fractured vessel crumbling fast
Old bones a wake comprising
Who knows their names, or cares at that
Enthralled they line up, willing
They know they’re here, but not to last
The lessons they prefer
The habits they can’t cure
Their airs it will obscure
In molds built to endure
If only ears could take in
The utterings of pain and bliss
If only eyes envisioned
A soul beneath this frail surface
If only time was for us
And every day was meant for this
If only change came willing
To we who thwart true happiness
The brave might lead the blind
The strong might hear their cries
Their truth might reconcile
We all might heal in time
This was written as a musing (my interpretation) on the song No Surprise for Grieve the Astronaut.
You have done as you had promised
No two days have looked the same
I’ve never known the peace of sanity
Since the day I took your name
I can feel my nerves are fraying
And my patience wearing thin
I can feel my hair is graying
From the torment I am in
You never told me what you’d offer
Is the home I never knew
Is the deepness of a heartache
And the wholeness I’d feel too
Many lessons I’ve uncovered
Since the day we said “I do”
And I never will recover
From what binds me here to you
Neither one of us deserves it
Lord knows that we have tried
Both a burden and a blessing
But this fire I cannot hide
You will ever burn within me
When we’re lost there we are found
I will follow this horizon
I will chase you round and round
Feel the earth give way beneath me
Let the waves crash overhead
Breathe the air of sweet surrender
Hear the words we’ve left unsaid
I am yours now and forever
Please be mine hereafter true
Take this hand and run beside me
All that matters is it’s you
Don’t believe coincidences
Only broken are we free
In this life there are no constants
Will you please be that for me?
All the phrases in the world
Can’t recount just what you mean
When in the air that e’er surrounds
Resonate the silly things
When your eye catches mine
Home within your arms, I dream
That you’re mine and I am yours
And that is all that we’ll ever need
It’s beyond all the lies
When we were told that we were sinning
There is truth that I found
And it’s been there from the beginning
We could chase anything
But we know it cannot mean
More than these words cannot describe
Forevermore my everything
Recounting what it’s like to be married to the love of your life, best friend, and greatest challenger.
Am I sick?
Am I broken?
There are things I can’t describe
I’m too tired
I’m too open
Feel it churning up inside
In my mind
I can feel my soul depart
There are times
I can’t find
If there truly beats a heart
I will never be let down
In the end
All I need
Is a way to still the sound
This is real
We will never be apart
Keep the faith
Fooled by love right from the start
When I break you will feel your world shake
Gravity surround your bones
Hide from falling skies for telling all those lies
In the wake that you call home
Facing heartbreak and the reality you don’t want to admit is there.
Pervasive night fills these dreams,
Floods these eyes,
Unsaid and unseen.
No day escapes this lurking shadow.
No phrase can change its somber tune.
Though bright the morning sun she rises,
Night follows far too soon.
Record playing on repeat.
In my mind,
Begin the downbeat.
Beyond the depths there wait tomorrows.
Behind deception bides the truth.
Among the stars we hang our wishes,
The crossroads they’ll illume.
Thorny pathways find my feet,
Excite my defeat
Abandoned and alone I wander
Can’t face to be irresolute.
The bitter boils up inside me
To squelch the hopeful few.
Trusting, fall into myself.
Hold this time.
Can’t say all I’ve felt.
Can longing raise a soul lain fallow?
A life that suddenly rings true.
Are dusks not meant to paint horizons,
And souls to sing the blues?
“Enough” could finish or begin
To my core
Let all of it in
Long shadows fill the paths behind me
The light ahead prepares their doom
I rise to meet my own reflection
And face the world, full bloom
This is a musing I’ve written in response to the song “Darkness” from Seattle rock band Grieve the Astronaut’s latest Album, “Signs”