Nothing hurts me more deeply,
then your
physical silence
and
indifferent
absence
so dead calm
not knowing
if you're living
or colder
in your grave

Speak to me
darling
I love you so.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
All rights reserved

I find myself in this bright, dangerous light. It engulfs me and tears me apart.

It is not all black and white,
it’s more like a color chart.

Blues, reds, yellows, and greens
What have I ever done?
You say you’re sorry by all means
For each and every one.

It is time that I left
It is time that I go.
Now go rest-
No... no... NO.

Nevermind,
you’re always right.
How can I be so blind?
Let us

reunite.

Now a week later,
and the lights are back.
You’re a liar, a traitor.
Slap, hit, whack!

I hide myself away
I know what’s going on
You say that “I’ll pay”,
all you are is brawn.

10 years down the line,
I hope to be happy and calm.
I hope to be drinking a nice glass of wine,
and no longer seeing your palm.

To love is to know,
And to know is to love ,
A bond sacred by intimacy,
Not birthed by erratic physicality.
No touch, no kiss, no hand I could hold,
Could warm the emptiness of my heart, so cold.
Two hearts torn
a broken hello from opposite sides of the world,
Our love simply lost, not permanently lorn.
Not by your kiss, not by your hold,
Will new love emerge from the fettered old.
I miss the warmth of your words
Their tantalizing embrace
Bonding immeasurable next to mere attraction of face.

my body is missing something
so i try to cover it in more fabric
bright colors and dark colors
skin tight or loose or covering no skin at all
but still my body is missing something
so i try to drink something
water or soda or juice or gin
i try wine so maybe my tongue will taste
as bitter as i feel
but still my body is missing something
so i scrub it
i place it under a steady stream of water
and i lather it in soap and i scrub away
until surely i must be brand new
but still my body is missing something
so i eat and devour
sweet and salty and bitter and comforting
and it sticks to the roof of my mouth
and i think maybe that’s what it was
but still my body is missing something
my body is craving something
i think it just wants
to be different.

learning to be
aware of how to hold
my physical being
creeping into the christening
resistant fingers and toes
curled inward in fear
driven by woes

Black hole kisses
******* me out of myself.
Kisses wrapped in hugs.
Intimate moments at intimate times.
Memories to treasure
On a cold winter night.

We once played a New Year Game
In which you kissed a girl
Then swopped her with another:
Twenty or so kisses
To compare.

One kiss so wide
I could hardly stretch
To meet it.
Ending up
Trust me,
With the big fat unresponsive one
Too drunk
To even know
She was being kissed.

Recall one time being coolly kissed
Politely:
A kiss that said
In no uncertain terms –
If you want passion
You’d better go elsewhere
My dear.

For kisses are like handshakes:
Some firm and friendly;
Others too hard
Or too limp.
The young don’t always get it:
Lettuce limp
With their customary hands.
Physical expression
A dying art
Like conversation
In this digital age
Of mobile phones
Snapchats
And Insta-Images.

Time to rekindle the past,
Go back to playing out –
And away!
Get mud ****** mucky
All gloves off.
Back to Basics,
That’s The Way.

Paul Butters

© PB 5\2\2019.

Once an addict, always an addict.
Not me, but in you.

Some thing’s will never change.
You’ll have need to chase that crave.

But my love will continue to glow.
Even after you have broken my heart.

My arms will forever stretch out.
To hold you in them.

But my head won’t let you win.
Let you control it anymore.

My heart won’t let you bruise it.
My soul won’t let you devour it any longer

But I will always love you.
But I will never love the addict you.