I'M STARING AT MY PHONE WITH
HAPPINESS GLISTENING IN MY
EYES JUST BECAUSE YOU
DECIDED TO TALK TO ME

A rumble of laughter not from an LOL in an SMS
but a sound from a breathless child
running in a field
not scrolling through a feed

two friends sharing secrets
in a hide out only known by two
not hiding behind a barricade
clear yet mystifies the truth

I see you smiling in front of me
As you share old stories
And dreams of what’s to come
I don’t face a pixelated picture
As I try to communicate
Face to face?
Or face to screen
Or share winky faces
As you tease me
while sitting in a room two doors down

What happened to the times when
We were connected by the strokes of the words on paper
Or the moments captured by film
And not destroyed by a single glitch of a cellular phone

There’s a ring to my name as you call
A melody in your voice
But now
since when have IM ever been better than calling a name
with your voice
we know people more by the click of a finger
than a stroke of a hand
and from 140 words
in an app
expected to chirp our secrets like songs of birds
sung to everyone

We see connection
As the strength of the wifi at the corner of our screens
Dreams are shared with every retweet and reblog
Shared to strangers
Who care about you?
Or care about the amount of followers or likes you get
Of a picture you do not own
Of an experience you have never done
Or maybe yet to do

life is not as beautiful through a screen
it is not about those minutes you spend
clicking that play button
you cannot fast forward or rewind the wasted time
sitting and waiting
as the video loads
just so
YOU
Can live their life

I sit in front of a camp fire
Hearing laughters from every side
Smiles brightening in the dark
What happened to these nights out?
the fun nights where the stars and moon were the only light source
and not the screen of the 3G phone
or when beauty was only experienced and not captured

1:00 am
My phone buzzes
Your name appears on the screen
I tell myself
You do not really
Miss me
You've drowned
Your sorrows
Into acohol
An you're drunk  
You say you
Miss me
You want me
Your drunken words
Roll off your tongue
And into my heart
As if It has stopped beating
I cannot help
But to believe this
I have missed you
Ever since that night
With the yelling and screaming
It was over
I cannot help but to
Say I miss you too
And then
Those two words
I've been dawning to hear
Come through the phone
"I'm sorry"

Gave a call.
Rang twice.
Mailbox full.
Gave another.
Rang five times.
Lady's voice.
Unavailable.
Shower time.
Maybe after?
Brooding.
Longing.
Wet.
Wrapped in towel.
Look at phone.
No missed calls.
Typical.
No surprise.
Forget the phone.
Forget the caller.
Return to life.

7 minutes pass by

a flash of light captures your gaze
pulling you back into reality
out of the daydreams filled with words that were never spoken
you reach for the phone
holding your breath
smug with the thought of the content in the message that lit up your screen

your smirk fades
almost faster than the hope in your heart

it wasn't her

13 minutes

but you were so clever weren't you?
you know her like the back of your hand
how could she resit replying?
how could the anger not boil right through to the tip of her fingers
causing her to-

38 minutes

your fingertips flash red
matching the colour of rage in your heart  
all you wanted was to see the words that flowed from her mind
her beautiful mind
imprinted onto your screen
so that maybe, just maybe
her soft voice would reply in your mind once more

72 minutes

a tear rolls down your cheek
your rage has melted into a puddle of water
like the thunderstorm that turns to rainfall when it can no longer handle being angry at the earth

86 minutes

realization washes over you
she doesn't care.
you can't fill her with an anger that will make steam pour from her ears
if she no longer drinks the water to fuel the steam
you cannot cut holes through her heart
when its already been sliced like Swiss cheese
you cannot tell her you love her
after she stopped counting the minutes it took you prove it

your answering machine
and i
have become
close,
perhaps closer
than you and i
ever were
because at least
it bothers
to answer me

I say "Hello?"

Automated Female Voice: (you know the one)

"All of our representatives are currently busy with other calls, please hold. Your call is important to us."




"*****!!.... YOU called ME!!!"


*click

I know every time you pick up the phone you want to call me
I’m always the first thing on your mind when you’re alone
When no one cares for you,
You care for me
I don’t understand why you come around;
Why you wanna make me want you
When you don’t even want yourself.

It felt like the same 4.00 A.M as it was yesterday when he called it's just today phone calls are the last ones you will get from him and his voice will echo until you breathe your last breath