You didn't choose me.

I could fill the spaces between your fingers.
I could be the one
you can talk to on the phone--
from dusk to dawn.
My shoulders are ready for you to cry on.

I could have given you everything.
I could have given you the love you deserve

Maybe I wasn't the one for you.
That even if I muster the feelings
you wouldn't have the same for me.

I thought to myself,
"I am undeserving."
I hate the feeling that I am just an option
you have not selected.

It hurts
how you think
I'm not the one for you.

For my eyes, you were the only one.
You would never have to question my loyalty
You didn’t even give me a chance.

I guess you never will know.
You missed out.
But thank you for not choosing me.

I realized,
it's not you
I deserve.
I've learned
the one
that needs love
the most


isn't you,
but myself.

Goodmorning

Dear self it hurts to to be an option.
Like a fire burning in hell, I felt jealousy and anger in myself.
We are like water and oil never be in each other's arms but with someone.
I would like to punch my heart and head for being a fool in Love.
I am your secret lust lover, a sin for mankind.
So .... To keep my sanity. Starting this morning.
I will stop.

Forget the fun, adorable and witty conversation.
I will keep thinking love is better dead than hurt my vulnerable heart.
I have dignity to preserve what is left in me.
A face of a pretending fool.

I wanted to seek the mysteries of people falling in love.
Gravity? Lust? Or just loneliness in my part.
I felt terrible because I cannot forget you.
Today I will totally **** the heart of a fool.

I'll be patient in poisining my heart,  little by little.
I will give an antidote of heartache thoughts.
I will shame myself for being naked and vulnerable.
It will be a difficult journey, I ask God for strength.

Why do I have this feeling of sadness, a little hope that love will grow.
A better half to share ones life in the journey.
I keep telling that were are not, you're better with her.
She will provide the love that I cannot give to you.

I am just a fool.

Jenny

I'm nothing but an option to you,
There are a thousand things you would rather do
Then talk to me in several days,
But then again you don't see that do you?

Its clear to see you're drifting away,
Would rather play a computer game
Then even bother to see if we're okay
But then again, you don't really care.

I thought you cared but clearly not.
You say you're sorry but things always stay the same.
I'm not sure what there is left for me to do
Because I'm tired of fighting for you to show me you care.

Trying again is an option
For focusing
To be able to try again
However trying and focusing is two
Keys we needed to handle for
Getting that achievement today.

But as we try, try , try
Our goal is going to be better than
It was before
Stepping higher than the mountains
Infront of us
To earn a star shining like an
Imagination stars above our head
While being graduted to be bright
Kid ,
We will try, try ,try to make tomorrow a day of trying.

                  By K-mari ©2016

It's the way you look into her eyes
when you talk to her.


And even when youre not together.
You still speak about her like she's your universe.


And I,
Im just a listener.