Pain is better than numbness,
because at least I can feel
my life not just move through it.

i slice my heart with strokes of pen;
blood flows as ink onto the page.
when i share my writings with my friends
they hold my life force in their hands.

now
words only sputter and spurt;
suddenly it hurts to hurt.
writing exhausts and reading consumes
over my head numbness looms.
words ought to follow each place i go
yet now i find them falling short.
i'm clinging to Your rays of light
fighting paralysis, reaching for Sight.

As the day seems to fade,
My numbness does too.
All the darkness comes to surface

Hello, hi.
Remember me?
I’m Miss blue,
hiding in the corner of the room.

Did you miss me?
You know, I missed you.

The giggles evaporated to knives
Now all pointed at me
They cry of piercing noises in my ears

Cruel words is all i can hear
Convincing that this is me.

The whispers in the back of the room,
now screeching, like nails on chalkboards
Expressing what they want me to believe.

Here comes the feeling, I know all too well.
Not being able to breathe.
Throwing my pennies in the wishing well,
Wishing for love
Wishing not to feel’

Once again, a new perspective pushes through.
Everything is always changing, therefore these times will fade too.
So for I know,
this feeling, won’t always be stuck to me
Like glue.

But then I wonder,
Do normal people fantasize about their funeral too?
Sweet whispers of a beautiful tragic, spread through the room, “Gone too soon.”
Or “ I wish I would have knew”
Better cut those thoughts,
Before they consume you.

Nights like these, familiar in taste.
Unpredictable
And lonely in soul.
Screaming in spirit, for a place called home.
Uncontrollable emotions. Release it all.

Cry on the floor, if that’s what you need to do.
Just know, your spirit will rise through,
Your soul will be cleansed once the storm is over
And your eyes will see anew.

You will see past the old truth that you once knew
From a different perspective;
Yet the same point of view

Crying so much, my eyes start to bleed.
And they plead;
For love, for warmth.
For eyes that I adore.

Somewhere this must exist,
Far away from here.
Or maybe I can find it
Residing within myself.

We create our own kind of hell
or permanent bliss.
It depends on which you want to hear.

Well i’ll start with this,

Here comes the reaching upward of the soul

I hope you will believe, even as the light turns to dusk

The same light that shines from the sun
And illuminates the moon
Exists within you, too.

The magic starts with this ☆
Right now, right here
In this mirror

As the honey drips from his lips
not a sound
only guilt
as he felt
his emotions
slip away.....

It was there again
I mean
It came to me again
With a slow numbness
N grip on the throat
Weight on my chest
& shake of my head
It was all there again
Again
Once again
It’s got me
This time it was terrifying
Because I’d have lived
Without
For longer this time
So this time it felt like
Fear
Instead of comfort

Uncovering
Undercover
Ideas

I recover
From long madness
Called N-U-M-B-N-E-S-S

Held me in
For too long
Behind bars
Made of steel
Of fears

F-E-A-R-S

Instead of
TEARS

I wished many times
I could feel SADNESS
But all I felt was
NOTHINGNESS
And nothing else

Then I looked precisely
At the NOTHINGNESS
And found everything
Hidden in there.

Not only SADNESS
and NEGATIVITIES
But even HAPPINESS
and POSITIVITIES

I found new POSSIBILITIES
And the NOTHINGNESS
Became EVERYTHINGNESS

just like the colour WHITE
consists of all the other colours
Combined.

Nothing is painful.
Nothing is pleasurable.
Nothing is anything.

It is dull.
Quiet.
Gray.
There is no black and white, because is doesnt matter.
It's all the same.

There is no color, not even sepia toned.
There is nothingness.
Blackness.
No feeling.
Nothing at all.