The November asphalt is stolen,
enraptured and torn by
cracks of a longing summer's kiss.
Oh, where did the winter's magic go?
Where is the ice-cold embrace,
the beautifully written crystal maze
of snow?

© fey (20/11/20)

you were the one he'd always leave me for,
you knew how i felt about him,
about you.
i loved you
i trusted you

i think about you when i pass the subway next to the domino's.
i thought about you yesterday
i thought about you today
and i'll think about you everyday

did you think about me on my birthday?
do you think about me at all?

it's hard to think we were so close once.
we havent spoken in a year,
and i dont want to speak to you.

we loved eachother.
you cheated,
and you lied.
you were kind,
that's who i loved.

it was your birthday,
was it a good one?
i hope youre okay,
i hope youre better.

Further than ever
A promise to break
A river lit silver
A heart left to ache
To sink or to swim
To run or to stay
I’ll sleep through November
Awake me in May

i.
the scent of sorrow, hanging in the air
rotting away what's left of this skin.
wrists — sewn shut
are wrists undone:
the morbidity of it all pervades —
this i confess.

ii.
look not. turn not, for
each careful stare, each scornful gaze
has me falling back into darkness;
maybe eurydice has found comfort in its arms.
maybe so have i.

maybe this is how it's always meant to end.

iii.
lately, sunsets no longer melt
into an afterglow —
they just turn into the night.
at least it dims
the futility of drawing each shallow breath
from places filled with smoke and dust;

there used to be something there:
this, i confess.
this, i remember.

there used to be something there.

there used to be something h e r e.


— fray // november, must you be so cruel to my trembling hands left with no heart to break?

For the first time in five years I didn’t wish him happy birthday, I wanted to, I opened the phone, I typed in his name and saw the last two messages from me, two years of happy birthdays with no response.
I closed the screen and put my phone down, it’s over, he’s become a ghost in my story while I’ve become another Skelton for his closet.
I thought I would cry when I passed the hotel we stayed at, the first time we celebrated his birthday together, tonight it was just another building on my drive home.
Although we will never be lovers again, my heart wishes him well, as I’ve finally found peace and healing in once meaningful, but now mundane days.

To November,
Thanks a bunch
for reminding us,
that the letting go
is the only way to make roads
for new blooms!

Every November I felt something new. November is full of change, nothing remains the same as before!

Acceptance: Somewhere in the month of November, I met a new person who changed me inside out..!! Embraced me with love, gave the warmth in those chilly days. We spent moments with happiness and shared our fears in the night sky, witnessing clouds uncovering the moon. Dreamt of good things, peace, and a bucket full of love. And November turned out as a happy month to me! No matter how much I tried but memories kept coming back, making me blush every single time..!!

Togetherness: Time passed really very fast, Again November came! I remember, spending days like never, contemplating each other’s hearts. Aimless drives, messed up schedules, movie marathons, street foods, and open bottles of beers. I found a home in him, a home of love with no limits and no worries. We promised to step together, holding hands in November, and to hang out till the November dissolves! And yesss we did...few Happy Novembers!

Separation: And then a few years later a day in November came with lots of new feelings..! Feeling of abandonment and betrayal just like dull and dark days. Crying in freezing night under that large yellow full moon but this time all alone! It felt cold, even the stars were extra cold to me; lights were so dim that paths were invisible. My heart was aching, and my trust was dissolved. I was miserable and pitiful! Always lost and struggling in the memories of past and present!

Learning: And now it’s again November I see blooming flowers and sometimes butterflies..! Red, Pale, Blue, Pink and White flowers. And it doesn’t feel like cold/dry or happy month to me!  and as I see he got engaged so, probably a month for him too!  Now I see November as the month of change and new hopes. This November taught me no matter how dry the weather is but you have to keep blooming, And I have realized that not everything is worthy of you! If something feels like a burden to you, just remove them and make some space for new dreams. And that’s the only way!!

equal top billing
Leonids and Taurids show
~fireball duet




Mark Toney © 2020

here it sits
hidden behind the fog
that rolls in on salty air
its dizzying staircase leads
to a perch overseeing the murky water
a view once sought out, now seen
too many times
the light is almost burnt out
from years of constant use
a lifetime of steering ships clear
from a jagged, rocky death
a once simple responsibility
that grew over time
a never-ending obligation
alone it stands
no visitors, as the time
for trips to its land
are long gone with the past
overrun by trees and bushes
that reach up with open palms
the light flickers painfully
hope is wearing thin
in the end, it lets out a sigh
barely heard above the roar of waves
as its light turns on once more
though it begs
just once
for it to be dark.