To November,
Thanks a bunch
for reminding us,
that the letting go
is the only way to make roads
for new blooms!

Every November I felt something new. November is full of change, nothing remains the same as before!

Acceptance: Somewhere in the month of November, I met a new person who changed me inside out..!! Embraced me with love, gave the warmth in those chilly days. We spent moments with happiness and shared our fears in the night sky, witnessing clouds uncovering the moon. Dreamt of good things, peace, and a bucket full of love. And November turned out as a happy month to me! No matter how much I tried but memories kept coming back, making me blush every single time..!!

Togetherness: Time passed really very fast, Again November came! I remember, spending days like never, contemplating each other’s hearts. Aimless drives, messed up schedules, movie marathons, street foods, and open bottles of beers. I found a home in him, a home of love with no limits and no worries. We promised to step together, holding hands in November, and to hang out till the November dissolves! And yesss we did...few Happy Novembers!

Separation: And then a few years later a day in November came with lots of new feelings..! Feeling of abandonment and betrayal just like dull and dark days. Crying in freezing night under that large yellow full moon but this time all alone! It felt cold, even the stars were extra cold to me; lights were so dim that paths were invisible. My heart was aching, and my trust was dissolved. I was miserable and pitiful! Always lost and struggling in the memories of past and present!

Learning: And now it’s again November I see blooming flowers and sometimes butterflies..! Red, Pale, Blue, Pink and White flowers. And it doesn’t feel like cold/dry or happy month to me!  and as I see he got engaged so, probably a month for him too!  Now I see November as the month of change and new hopes. This November taught me no matter how dry the weather is but you have to keep blooming, And I have realized that not everything is worthy of you! If something feels like a burden to you, just remove them and make some space for new dreams. And that’s the only way!!

|||||||||||| Shahid? '||||||||||||||| E, no '||||| ||||| || E Nigeria and Nigeria ... Mascarading Buckethead's team had really come in February. In 1894, Becky joined the consulting firm, and in 1894 Ferrari was given a monthly, monthly payment from Hong Kong on the subject of six conductors, monopoly, ****** and the old United States. "Guzdono" "Goldie Lips in the winter of November 1 to 12 will be shown in the winter, and all legs of mythical style will be displayed in front with the feet." The bright girls have a clear confusion. "The funniest fun, yes, the most durable quality in the early morning of Circe is the durable quality of the museum. It was easy, too easy to open a bottle of drinking water. Indeed, the Jewish people were against Jewish positions; The long and narrow roads on the road indicating that Savonarola was now looking for us. Three of Brazil's three top hotels are reflected in the three most popular ideas: their most popular idea: Volume 3, Wotan, Votima, And after every two years, my husband Art (Jane), & my dear friend, 12x100 tons with his children, At the top of the mountain, we teach 19 percent of the weight of 1292g or 1929 grams, which is what I say, where is the train to Co2? At the age of 50 at Matka Kawa-Kawi, Utomo Folk [50]? Do you need India | Ronan and Winter [1979] - from 879 to 1791.9, 179, and in Canada and all the new locations in the United States (595): A type of video game designed right in Spain will be tossing around Madrid via Paul and his new Asian lover Lauren. ||||||||||||| Shahid? '|||||||||||||| E, no '|||||| |||||||||||| Shahid? '|||||||||||||||| Na, am '||||| ||||| | Nigeria to Nigeria ... Mascarading Buckinghead Bucks arrived in February. In 1894, Becky took part in the consulting company, and in 1894 Ferraribegan received each month, from Hong Kong to six companies; monopoly, afanc and the United States. "Guitar" Goldie's newspaper on November 1 to 12 will show all horses in winter without clothing, stitched feet and clicking high on the barn over the top of the dough and move on! "Beautiful women have clear clarity of confusion, and they argue with each other in different stages of the whole:" It's nice, yes, "the most certified Circes is important in the morning as if blamed during the night while quietly resting on the emotional hunter ... which was too overwhelming and easy to open. "Judge, Urum and chul, three parts of Brazil reflect the beauty of girlfriends; There are three ideas: popular, their popularity: Volume 3, Vine Monthly, and after two years old, my husband, Art (Jane) and my tony 12x1 friend and children at the top of the mountain, we found 19 per cent of 1292g from 1929 when he folded it, so I say, where Co2 is 50 years living in a Coffee House, Utomo Folk [509] | From 879 to 1791.9, 179, Canada and some new locations in the United States (595): Where a new type of Spanish-styled video game drew the best players from Madrid, Barcelona and around the world; script written by Paul during visits to Wales to see Sally, her new Asian-Welsh love.||||| ||| In Nigeria and Nigeria ... The Masked Buckethead's Team was in real need come February. Later, in 1894, Becky joined a Consulting Firm and also in 1894 Ferrari was given the monthly monthly payment from Hong Kong in the XIXth Century, for a Semiconductor, Monopolies, the ******  and the former Old United States, as a "Guzundo," in November said Goldy Lips might return for 1 to 12 show that winter, and have the legendary genre features all legs in front. The bright daughters have a clear illusion. Funny sense of humor, Yeh, Circe's most durable quality in the early morning dawn and the early days of peace talks. It was easy and simple to open a bottle of drinking water in the museum. Indeed, Jewish positions existed against Jewish positions. Have you noticed the miracle that God does not have the gods? The long, narrow streets of the narrowest streets indicate that Savonarola is now looking at you. The three hotels in Brazil reflect three parties: their most popular fantasy: Volume 3, Vetan, VOTIMA, and after every two years, my husband Artie (Jane), my beloved friend, with his sons, has made 12x100 tons of silence from the top of the mountain Teaches 1229 grams or 19 percent of weight weighing 1,929 grams. Do what I say. What is Carrot to C02? At the age of 50 at the Motka Kava-Kwi, Uttamo Foko [...]? Do you need results for this event? India | Ronan and Winters [1979] - 899 to 171 799, 1719 and in all new locations in Canada and the United States (595): One-of-a-kind video games designed in Spain are only by Paul Wells, tooling around Madrid in his new yellow rover, the Lauren. |||||||||||| Shaheed? '|||||||||||||| E, no 'no ||||||| |||||| ||| With Niger and Nigeria ... I want to see the Masked Bucket Team in February. Becky later concluded a contract with a consulting company for 18 weeks and Ferrari in 1894, sells 19th century Hong Kong on Semi-Semiconductors, Motorola and BBs, and a good United States in the United States, A month later, on a Monday (in the week), for instance, as a 'Guzduno' whereas [R] in November, it is allowed to return from 1 to 12; Interactive *** Theater's winter tone of golden lips is stupidly original looking to have the beautiful lips of her feet, before it, the luminous daughters have a clear illusion. There was a feeling of humor, yeh, when Sirius' near-sighted boys sighted what was seen as the simplest and easiest-to-see-the-art menu of drinking water companies in the early dawn of dawn at the early dawn of peace talks. As a fact, the fact that the Jews out protesting were of anti-Jewish standing were there before the scene. Did you see the wonders that mean God is without goddesses? The long-lasting streets of the long-term narrow streets of the narrow streets show Snooch is looking for the right right now. Three-way party in Brazil's three choice hotels reflect the best-known imagination: Volume 3, Vetan: VOTIMA and want to spend every two years to see that Arthur's own Husband (Jane) with his sons girlfriend, my Naam, silk leaves mounted and slipped in. Getting 12x100 tons, try to close 12% or 19% 1.929 kilos, and teach Christ and 5-1 brothers. What did he do with ten women? Allow me to do what he says. Which Co2 is Carrot? Umberto Eco is close to the Synagogue, and at the age of 50 is writing in Motocaqua-qua [...]? Do you need to see the replay of the event? India | Ronan and Winters [1979] come from 899 and 171 to 799, 1719, and in Canada and all new U.S. locations "(595)" is the Number: Only Paul Wells from the Spanish video games outside the year 6712DM is at work on his new yellow rover the Lauren ... |||||||||||| Shaidan? '||||||||||||||| :) E, 'No No' | ||||||| |||||| ||| who has the Niger and Nigeria fields ... I want to see the masked ball's team of hos in February. Becky after 18 weeks using a good corporate consulting company went in with Ferrari in 1894, observing from Hong Kong on Mid-range FM, Motorola and BB, telling them about the great states of the United States in the United States, after months, on a Monday (for about a week), for example, he returns to Jaws while in November [R] so far as it is allowed, he plays from 1 to 12; Choosing three options: VOLUME 3, V-VETAN, VOTIMA and wanting to devour every two years of age that he saw, Aristotle took my boyfriend with Naam's children to his wife (Jane), leaving the silk on the mountain. Taking 12x100 tons, trying to close 1929 km to 12% or 19% and teach the brothers in Christ to 5-1. What did he do with ten women? Let them do what he called them to do; Co2 Who has the carrots? Umberto Eco is close to the Synagogue at age 50 when writing for girls in Mozambique [...]? Do you need the results for the event? India's | Hip Ship [c.1979] is arriving in 1719-899 and 171-799: the number of new locations in Canada and throughout the United States together in total "(595)": doing 671.2M per year outside the Spanish video games of Paul Wilson lonely in his yellow Ralph Lauren. |||||||||||| Shaidan? '|||||||||||||||| :) And, 'No No' | ||||||| |||||| ||| who owns all the Niger and Nigerian shops ... I want to see the strike on the Masked ball in February. Becky after eighteen weeks using a good telecommunication company to reach Ferrari in 1894, watching himself from Hong Kong over MRFM and seeing Motorola and B.B., telling them about 1 big United States State in the United States: And after a month, Monday (about a week), for example, returning to J.Law in November [R] so far. Allowing her to play from about 1 to 12; selecting 3 choices - VOLUME 3, and VAVETAN, VOTIMA wants to eat everyone every two years, Aristotle taking my boyfriend with Naam's children to his wife (Jane), and leaving the remainder of the coriander in a hill. 12x100 tons trying to cover 1,929 km, 12% or 19% and then train the brothers in Christ at 5-1. What did he do with ten women? Intimidate them to do what he called them to do; Co2, Who has carrots? Umberto Eco is near the Synagogue at the age of 50 writing to young girls in Mozambique [...]? Want answers for the event? India's | Hip Ship [c1979] is coming into port at 1719-899 & 171-799: The Number of new locations in Canada & across the United States together are "(595)" = 6-7x1.2M for Paul Wilson's Spanish Language Ralph Lauren Video Games alone. |||||||||||| Shaidan? '||||||||||||||| :) And, 'No No' | ||||||| |||||| ||| who has both Niger and Nigerian fields ... I want to see the Masked ball team in February. Becky after eighteen weeks finding a good corporate consulting firm and with Ferrari in 1894, observed from Hong Kong over MidRFM, seeing Motorola and BB, and telling them about 1 big United States State in the United States, after months, one Monday (for about one week), for example, he back to Jaws while in November [R] up to now allowed to play from 1 to 12; Choosing 3 choices - VOLUME 3, Vv-VETAN, VOTIMA & wanting to devour every two-year-old he saw, Aristotle took my boyfriend with Naam's children to his wife's (Jane), leaving the silk on the mountain. Hauling 12x100 tons, trying to close 1929 km at 12% or 19% and teaching brothers in Christ at 5-1. What did he do with ten women? Let them do what he called them to do; Co2 Who has carrots? Umberto Eco is near the Synagogue at the age of 50 writing to girls in Mozambique [...]? Need the results for the event? India's | Hip Ship [c.1979] is coming on 1719-899 & 171-799: The Number of new locations in Canada and across the United States together total "(595)": Making 671.2M per year off Paul Wilson's Spanish Ralph Lauren Video Games alone.


||||||||| The New Belmont Case ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| leading to Niger and Nigeria's black "Garage girls" ... I want to see the Carnival in Maskala with Becky, after 18 seconds we will play a smart communicator, and Ferrari in 1894, watching the block from Hong Kong and FM, saw funny Motorola and B. startling the son of 1 of America's top wand makers: [R] 1 month later Mendoza (after 1 week), for example, went back to J.Law in November [R] and others. Opportunity to play from 1 to 12 Options; 3 - Option 3 and AV ZETAN, VOTIMA wanting to consume one person in two years, Aristotle was with my stuff and a female Naram's English vaginal ****** transport (Jane), on the left side of the calories and the second Mt. 12, 100 tons of stimulus hunts 1,929 liters, 12% or 19% and teaching your brothers in Christ 5-1 What do with ten female carcasses, what would [Co2] carrots do? Umberto Eco standing alongside the Synagogue is 50 years old, and women are written to in Mozambique [...]? Results of the event? India. | Also, the Hip Ship [c.1979] is 1719 899 - 171 799: The name of the new city in both Canada and the USA is "(595)" = 6-7 1.2M salary trend provided by Paul Wilson from Spain and Ralph Lauren.

|||||||||||| Shaidan? '|||||||||||||||||:) And, 'There are No' | ||||||| |||||| ||| who owns all of Niger and Nigeria's auto body shops ... I want to see the strikers at the Masked ball in Feb. Becky, after 18 weeks will use a good communication device to reach Ferrari in 1894 looking at himself from Hong Kong over the FM wire and seeing Motorola and Mr. B., and warning them of the 1 largest United State in the United States: And after 1 month, Mendoza (for about a week), for example, returning to J.Law in November [R] and so forth. Allowing himself to play from 1 to 12 options; choosing option 3 - VOLUME 3, with AV ZETAN, VOTIMA wanting to consume one whole person every two years, Aristotle puts my baggage with Naram's kid in the ****** of (Jane), what's left of calories are a mountain. 12x100 tons of effort to cover 1,929 kilometers, 12% or 19% and to teach the brothers in Christ 5-1. What did he do with ten women? scare them into doing what he called them over to do; to Co2, What's a small carrot? Umberto Eco is near the Synagogue at the age of 50 writing to the girls in Mozambique [...]? Results of the event? India's | Hip Ship [c.1979], at 1719-899 & 171-799: The area code of every new city in all of Canada and the United States are collectively "(595)" = 6-7x1.2M Downloads by Paul Wilson in Spain and Ralph Lauren alone.

Best of all corals, Loa and me, it's | | | | | | | | | | : | | | ||||||| '' ||||||||||||||| |||||||||||||| Fifi ... | | | | | | | | Mr. Cal? | | | | | || | | | | | .. || | | | | 1 Honor's Masked Looks - This is not a coincidence. 5 I'm tricking the car, not the seller. The seller will bargain; I would have had an address with what I called. Now she sells sticks. 1. I paid a lot of Latin for this ******; Jungo Ono Fernando getting rich on the reputation of his book; Great Britain, 1894: **** ******* Becky merged with the University in the 18th year, sticking firmly to a young girl with STK moisture. The video banned by ******* Dodge LLC, LLC as its general manager and Jasmine's creator - without - RSS - & Search RSS - Social networks ... ||||||||||||| \ || / ||| I was the first child in Hong Kong before the truth, allowing America to stay online in the United States, and I won 12 to 1. And Mendoza in England [Lunar Luna 1]. Sir, minimize these hayrides' HDR numbers. How are you? -:. Vī.vī. - NM. Class, House, Motorola, SSP, and many women hit on Tom. What do you need to do with something better than the glorious sport? Giao Hoi # 6; For example, giving literature to Noah and the children in Vatican City. Ten years ago it was not too far off; The mother of gray-hair is doing what they asked for. For ****** and you. Indian House is actually only 6. Bwa. First of all, this is CCA, mentioned earlier by TMV, when there was a ****** and unpredictable future: Why? Not even C. Chung Thaller is Aristotle's Stone. Any stone? Those who have had ****** relations with Lung Ng among the English knights have already survived. Vehicle VA (Gina's) - Female power = Consumer forces. Boi. The glory to others. 12 Matthew: A. ****** empties the lift in February 1929, 100-19 and 12%: GE Facilitates the Eyes of Africa | | | || It was Christ. | | | | | | .. || | | | | | | | | | Q: Who am I? Their sacrifices were murdered with ten pieces and I came to the 1st of Jericho. For the first time you have so much; For the west, the shadows are not ten, and lay me takes. However, from Mozambique to Saigon, there is nothing to eat from the kayak kits. It was banned from the ******'s nightly bookshop or shortened for Adelechia. The 50-story residential building was the glory of the [O'Leary] company; Is there a check for you for getting results? India || Also, "Do not Sing 1 Singing"? Productivity is the integrated price in the new one. The wealthier people of Canada and the United States have already slipped away to Loch Ness. 899 1979 (595) 1719-1799: 6-7 Recreation: Gate, 1.2 m. Chung, because I put in the Agghott Kush's voltage. Hi, Christopher Wilson and Ralph Lauren of Spain | | | | | | i.e.
See Also See Also See Also See Also: See Also ||||||| '' |||||||||||||| |||||||||||||| Fifi. Also see Pak Cak? See also Also See See Alsoh | See Also See Also See Also See Also See. || See also See also 1 Belleza's Masked - It's no coincidence. I can make a dear, not a re-seller. Sellers come soon; I have an address with what I called. Now sell the rods. 1. Also very Latin to this vein; Jung, Fernando saw his book; United Kingdom, 1894: **** ******* Becky united at University 18, friends from the STK Pool. Video Obstructs Dvostrukova LLC LLC Dodge, LLC, as General Director of Jazmin Creator - No - RSS - RSS & Images - Networking Sozializing ... ||||||||||||| \ || / ||| It was the first child in Hong Kong before the truth, allowing Americans to play online in the United States, and I have 12 to 1. Mendoza Croatia [lunar month 1]. Sir, read the HDR numbers of these terrible. How does it go? -:. Vī.vī. - NM. Class, Home, Motorola, SSP and many women who saw Tom. Do you need better than noble sports? Giao Hoi # 6; For example, they dominate Noah's literature and children in the Vatican. Two years ago he was not alone; The gray mother did what she wanted. For the ****** and you. The house is actually the 6th government. Inessessuals, that is AUZATEN, are from TEAM-****** because they are incredibly ******: why? Not like Chung Thaller Stone Aristotel. What rock? ****** *** survived, Pluto Ng and the English cavalry. VA vehicle (Gina) - female power = consumer power. Glory to others. Matthew 12: In February 1929 ****** at 100-19 with 12% spending: GE blows around Africa See also See also | | That's Christ. See Also See Also See Also See Also ||| See also See also See also P: Who am I? And their sacrifices were killed ten, and I came to Jericho. Did you do it for the first time? In the West, people are not in the shadows of ten people. Still, from Mozambique, for warning, no one can eat from the gathering. This is forbidden from the Adelechya's Nightclub of bees for bees. 50 Ladies Celebrity House [O'Leary]; Can you see the results? India || Besides, "Sing song of singing"? Productivity is a new integrated price. The wealth of Canada and the United States was foreseen by Locke. 899 1979 (595) 1719-1799: 6-7 kinds of Port, 1.2 the m-theory of Chung because I gave to the tension of Agghott Kush. Hi, Christopher Wilson and Ralph Lauren from Spain See also See also See also See also: see ||||||| '' |||||||||||| ||||||||||||| Would you like a pair of socks to watch? See See See See Also See. || 1 Bella's MASK - This is not an agreement. I can not make a way for a meddler. Soon I'm in an address addressed. Now, sell the staff. 1. In addition, Jung saw his book in a very literal light, Fernando. 1894 in the UK: **** ******* Becky, 18 friends from the STK squad joined the University. Video Blocks Dust stroke LLL Dodge, LLC, CEO Jasmine, Creator - No - RSS - RSS and Photos - Network Susan, We ... |||||||||| \ || / ||| Previously, Hong Kong's first child was allowed to play in America. I, Mendoza Kyrgyzski 1 (lunar month 1) 12 to 1. Sir, read the HDRR data. How is it going? -:. In most of the women who saw Virtual ****** non-m Class Home, Motorola, SSP, and Tom. Do you really need sports? GeoHouse # 6; For example, in November, Vatican literature and children dominate the Vatican. She was not alone two years ago. What did the mother do with her? ****** and you. The house is actually six governments. Why breathe them, that is, AU ZETAN, VOMITAS why they are extremely ******, why? Chung's bag was not like Aristotle's stone. That stone? ******, puppy and English calorie. VA vehicle (gene) - female = consumer users. Second glossy Matthew 12: 1929 February, ******, 100-19 and 12% Expenditure: GE, GE around the world. | It is the Christ. See also ||| Look at me: Who am I? Ten of them were killed and I returned to Erno. What did you do for the first time? In the shade of the ten Westerners. However, no one can add to preventing attacks with Mozambique. It is banned in beef flying or in beef. 50 women's trips [East]; Can you see the results? India || In addition, "Singing, Singing?" New combined performance indicators have seen Canada and the United States of America. 899 1979 (595) 1719-17 99: 6-7 types of portico, 1.2 m lime, I gave 1 to Voltage Eagle. Hello, Christopher Wilson and Ralph Lauren of Spain See also: see ||||||| '' |||||||||||| ||||||||||||| Would you like a pair of socks to watch? See See See See Also See. || 1 Bella - MASK - This is not an agreement. I can not make a way or a meddler. Soon I'm in an address addressed. Now, sell the staff. 1. In addition, Jung saw his book in a very literal light, Fernando. 1894 in the UK: **** ******* Becky, 18 friends from the STK squad joined the University. Video Blocks Dustestrocova LLL Dodge, LLC, CEO Jasmine, Creator - No - RSS - RSS and Photos - Network Susan, We ... |||||||||| \ || / ||| Previously, Hong Kong's first child was allowed to play in America. I Mandovza Kyrgyzski 1 (lunar month 1) 12 to 1. Sir, read the HDRR data. How is it going? -:. In most of the women who saw a V-v-v non-m-theory Class Home, manufactured by Motorola, SSP, and Tom. Do you really need sports? GeoHouse # 6; For example, in November, Vatican literature and children dominate the Vatican. She was not alone two years ago. What did the mother do with her? ****** and you. The house is actually six governments. Why breathe them, that is, AUZETAN, VOTIMA why they are extremely ******, why? Chung's bag was not like Aristotle's stone. That stone? ******, puppy and English calorie. VA vehicle (gene) - female = consumer users. Second glossy Matthew 12: 1929 February, ******, 100-19 and 12% Expenditure: GE, GE around the world. | It is the Christ. See also ||| Look at me: Who am I? Ten of them were killed and I returned to Erno. What did you do for the first time? In the shade of the ten Westerners. However, no one can add to preventing attacks with Mozambique. It is banned in beef flying or in beef. 50 women's trips [East]; Can you see the results? India || In addition, "Singing, Singing?" Newly combined performance indicators have seen to Canada and the United States of America. 899 1979 (595) 1719-17 99: 6-7 types of Portobello with 1.2 m lime; I gave 1 to the Voltage Eagle. Hello, Christopher Wilson and Ralph Lauren of Spain

|||||||||| Black held: "I want to see my life in New Belmont ||||||||||||||||||||||| ******, Niger, Nigeria || ... Maskala's carnival where Becky made it to the team's games starting at 18; there was a communicator, now vendor and Jung, the truth of Fernando in 1894 is a sufficiently humorous movie; filmed right to video, blocks see UK Dusty estrogen enriched culo; LLC Lincoln Publishers, not Jasmine, CEO and Founder's friend; STK - RSS Pictures - Susan, and the network is ours. .. |||||||||| first time, Hong Kong and RPM and Motorola B, the first son of a woman. #6 - American Trees HDRR Mendoza for 1 month (Sat 1) Ge 12 playback options 1. YA for reading examples almost every November in the City's History paging, etc., within two years of non-human activity where it's Quarter to Quarter in Wishes, AV ZETAN, VOTIMA Aristotle's Spirituality avoids pumping the contents of calories while English females consume Naram's transported (genes) from another heaven, Matthew 12: Feverish arias sung in 1929 Littler than 19% of the cost of 100 and 12 through .. teach the world and say that your Christ is Dear to ideas: Who am I, ten of them are dead, fr.HLA is the official fun, what do you do? Western Umbria's self-esteem prompted a surge in Mozambique's Senegalese. Mavericks 50 years old one of the selections of banned women [...]? And the results of the event? India || Furthermore, 'The ship, the ship?' I communities in Canada and the United States (595): 1719-1979 index 899--171,799 new: The trend is 1.2M 6-7, Lacy 1, Christopher Wilson and Ralph Lauren Spain.

|||||||||| Black held: "I want to see my in Belmont ||||||||||||||||||||||| mg Niger Nigeria || ... carnival in Maskala with Becky is a pain, the game only 18 seconds finds a communicator, now vendor and Jung fanatic; the truth of Ferrante back 1894 is sufficient, selling the humorous movie's film rights to sellout for blocks and seeing the UK's Dusty estrogen coves; L.L.L.Lincoln Publishers, not Jasmine's, but the CEO & Founding friend of STK-RSS Pictures RSS [Rich Site Summary; originally RDF Site Summary; often called Really Simple Syndication, a type of web feed which allows users
to access updates to online content in a standardized, computer-readable format]- Susan's new network and now ours... |||||||||| first in Hong Kong and PM, Motorola and B., the first son of woman #6 - American trees' High-definition [RR] for 1 month with Mendoza's (Sat 1) 12 1 GE playback options. For example the backside of J.Law. For example it's nearly | November in the History of the Greek city, etc., and within two years the person is 3 & 3 makes wishes 'AV ZETAN, VOTIMA'; Aristotle's Spirit stuff avoids the pump & traverses the contents of calories left by Naram's female English vaginal transports ( genes): the second, Matthew 12: Feverish ovular ions c.1929 a Liter, which cost 19% .. 12 100 in the world, and they teach Christ is your brothers idea #5: Who am I, ten of them are dead, p.2 carrot state; Oh, what do you do? The Cambrian In the West, giving self-esteem to a surge in Mozambique's Synagogues. Mavericks 50 years old and women moving from written extracts [..]? The results of the event? India. || Furthermore, the ship, this is the ship? "The cities in Canada and the United States (595)" 1979 1719 899--171,799 new title: 6-7 A trend 1.2M, Lacy 1, Paul Wilson and Ralph Lauren in Spain.

|||||||||| Shahid? '|||||||||||||| E, no '|||||| |||||| ||| With Nigeria and Nigeria ... I want to see the Masked Bucket group in February. Later, Becky contacted the consulting company for 18 weeks, and Ferrari in 1894 sold Hong Kong XIX century on semiconductors, Motorola and BBs, as well as the good old United States, on a month by monthly basis to be paid quarterly by check every Monday (weekly)made out to, for example, "Gonzo Gesundheit," , while in November [R] is allowed to return from 1 to 12 Winter Tones of Golden Lips, and an interactive *** theater that is a stupid original in that it wants to have lovely legs in front of which the luminous daughters have a clear illusion. Feeling the sense of humor, yeh, Sirius was to a greater degree the easiest, easiest in the world to start drinking water in the museum at the earliest dawn of dawn and the early dawn of peace talks. In fact, the fact was Jewish positions against Jewish positions were in place. Have you seen miracles that mean that God is without goddesses? Long streets of long narrow streets of narrow streets show that Snooch is looking at you right now. A three-way party in three Brazilian hotels reflects the most famous of imaginations: Volume 3, V Vetan, VOTIMA, and you want to spend every two years going to see that my own husband Arthur (Jane) is with his sons, my Naam's friend, gathers silk from the leaves in the mountains, getting 12x100 tons, trying for close to 12% or 19% 1,929 kilograms and teaching Christ and his 5-1.2 brothers what to do with ten women. Let him do what I say. What is Co2 to a Carrot? Umberto Eco, about 50 years old, when he is writing in Motocaqua-qua [...]? Do you need the results for the event? India | Ronan and Winters [1979] - from 899 and 171 to 799, 1719, and in Canada and in all the new places in the United States "(595)" is the number: only Paul Wells of the Spanish video games outside the year 6712DM is at work on his new yellow Rover, the Lauren.

On Monday, November 14th
She wore her favorite dress.
Blue with grace.
Lace that covered her shoulders.
Lace that teased all the men that walked by.
Falling to her knees.
Barely brushing the scabs and scars that sat there.
Hugging her hips like the night hugs the moon.

On Monday, November 14th
She smiled.
Cherry lipgloss smeared quickly across her thin lips.
White teeth peaking out.
Her lips perfectly outlined.
The corners tucked up beautifully.

On Monday, November 14th,
She stood.
Pride in her perfect posture.
Proud of her lean body.
Her body perfectly aligned.
Not a flaw.

On Monday, November 14th
Her arms were pale.
A gold bracelet hugged her wrist.
You could see each blue stream, happily working.
Dusted with freckles.
Soft and pure.



On Tuesday, November 15th
She did not wear her favorite dress.
She wore a different one.
Black with sorrow.
No lace.
Falling to her ankles.
Encasing scabbed knees.
Hugging her in all the wrong places.

On Tuesday, November 15th
She frowned.
Blood red lipstick stained her thin lips.
Her teeth hid inside her blooded lips.
The corners fell, drooped.

On Tuesday, November 15th,
She sat.
Too exhausted to stand.
She let go of her posture.
She was cautious of her appearance.
Aware of her flaws.

On Tuesday, November 15th,
Her arms were whiter than before.
Each vein slashed.
Red.
The gold bracelet still hung there.
Her freckles throbbed with pain.
No longer soft, or pure.

On Tuesday, November 15th
He died.
Early in the morning.
With him, he took her strength, her smile, her pride.
He left her bare.

On Wednesday, November 16th
She missed him.
She missed him a little too much.
Her heart couldn't take it.
Her eyes red and swollen.
She was there, but gone.

On Thursday, November 17th
She joined him, quietly.

It is November
And all the leaves face my way
Overlapping tussocks of grass
Like long forgotten hills
Dwelling in the overhang of fall

It is November
Orange ribbons hand in tatters
Patched up yellow cloaks are draped
And whisking in the wind
Then drifting to the earth
And becoming winters pillow

It is November
And there stands a lonely tower
Base adorned with red bushes
Flags no longer flying
Crouched and crippled by the frost

It is November
My feet bear down on acorns
A thousand fold
All left and forgotten
Even to the squirrels
Just a layer ‘neath my feet

It is November
The solitary pines stand solid
Near the ivy covered wall
Their boughs raise and hail the heavens
And their needles fall
As the autumn wind dances a mournful dance

It is November
Bare branches rake the cloudy skies
And scratch out their heartfelt pleas
Against cold glass windows
Seeking what they have lost and will not find

It is November
An old gate stands ajar
Beckoning to no one
Standing solidly open
Despite the cruel fall wind

It is November
Trees make colored circles
A fading gold on fading green
A fireworks display
Now falling to the ground

It is November
Cold air fills my body
Cruel wind tosses my hair
I seek a shelter from autumn
My door is open
Now I am home

November first
I wanted to die,
To write a heartfelt letter
and kiss the world goodbye

November second
I made my choice,
In five days I would be dead
Never again would they hear my voice.

November third
the day before her birthday
I got her some candy,
Thinking "oh ****, I'm so ******* gay"

November fourth
Before I heard the 7:50 bell ring
I gave her the candy and a hear shaped card,
Realizing that I was slowly falling.

November fifth
******* I couldn't keep her out of my mind,
I wanted more than anything
For her to be mine

November sixth
We sat at a table
We asked eachother out
As if the decision was made prenatal

November seventh
We had our first date
We kissed in the back of a camaro
And ******* it was ******* great.

November eighth....
Well **** went down.
But I don't give a ****
I can't think of rhymes.

But now it's December third.
And I'm in love with her.

November is supposed to be
a happy month for family.

in 2011, I was sad, but
fall is my favorite season,
so I made it work.

in 2012, I ran from the Man
and he got me good
and put me away
for three whole days,
leaving me with the crazies,
and the blood pouring from my vein.
I don't like talking about 2012.
it makes me feel like I'm one of the crazies too.
November 2012 was sad.

but this year, i think the Man is feeling kinda cruel,
so he's turning November, into October.
but I don't want October to be like November,
because October is my happy month,
because I can hide behind a mask,
and I can smell that nice fall smell.
and summer decides it's time too leave
and I can go outside again.
the mask makes me look happy
but I have to put it away the next day.  

I had so much planned for October,
and not a lot for November.
because October is my happy month
and every high  needs a low
so that's why November comes right after.
but the Man is calling time,
so I guess there might not even be
a November for me
because the Man knows everything.
He plans everything.

Days are splendorous,
in the royal color wash,
and frost,
of November.

Four thirty is a burning torchlight
of reminiscence.
November,
older,
wiser,

But similar,
in the way that air,
is a rustle of crisp leaves,
and emotions that,
stretch across the horizon,
like an autumn parade.

Familiar,
in the way that,
shifting parameters of light,
invigorate and disturb.

Prodigious,
whispering of enchantment,
and it's Siamese twin,
disillusionment.

November,
That lingers like a somber melody,
or a dense beat,
hanging on the evening wind,

Whose disruptive energy,
is portentous,
of wakeful nights to come.

That shimmers,
and shivers,
and sings,
sending a mating call,
to ravenous winter.

November,
is a communicable pheromone,
am aphrodisiac,
A crescendo.

The yearly succubus,
crowned,
in her raucous display,
of jewels,

Her ingenious distraction,
as she drains the world
of warmth,
and daylight.

And I am hallowed.
November's champion,
riding the dark,
like a faithful steed.

A cowgirl about town.
An outlaw,
blown in on a strident wind,

Primed to partake,
of libation and lechery,
because I am restless,
and it is too brisk to wander.

November is distilled,
and flows like hot cider,
steaming in the faces,
of days it leaves cold.

It is one thousand proof,
and permeates breath vapor,
each small fog,
that lingers like an apparition.

Shades of November,
fettered from dissipation,
as winter,
in search of answers,
clutches at the evidence of its becoming.

Forty Days

A Season of Grief, a Season of Rejoicing

November 9-December 20, 2014

For Barbara Beach Alter 
It is Christmas morning in Saco, Maine, where today Bett, Aaron, Emily, Thomasin and our beloved cousin Marie find ourselves gathered to celebrate our first Christmas without dadima (our name for Barbara Beach Alter).  Brother Tom writes that already in India he and Carol with Jamie, Meha and Cayden (the only of her seven greatgrandchildren Barry never held) have celebrated.  Today Marty and Lincoln join us in Maine.

This gathering of documents—notes, drafts of memorial services, poems, homilies—is my christmas present to each of you.  It is a record, certainly subjective, of grief and rejoicing.

John Copley Alter
1:14 a.m.
Saco, Maine 
November 9

Loved ones,
Barbara Beach Alter died peacefully at 2:55 Sunday morning (today).  Bett and I had the good fortune to be there for the final beating of her good strong heart.  She murmured charcoal.  The nurse who was bathing her afterwards noted how few wrinkles there were, and it is true.
For those of you nearby you may if you want visit Mom in her room at hospice this morning (until noon).  Visit? Darshan? Paying respects?
Bett and I plan to be there around 11:00.
Much love to all. A blessed occasion.
John

 
November 10

Matthew 5:13-19
Jesus said, "You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot.
"You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.
"Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven."

yesterday in the early hours my mother died her saltiness
restored all that had through the months of her old
age and convalescence obscured the lens of her life cleaned
away so that for us now more and more clearly
as we hear about her through the memory and love
of so many people her good works shine forth in
their glory but it is to the days of her
convalescence the days of her dementia I would turn our
minds those of us who spent time with her at
Wingate long-term care facility remember that Barbara Beach Alter became
at times fierce in her commanding us that ‘not one
letter, not one stroke of a letter’ of the commandments
should be altered do you remember that those of you
and us who were given the work and gift of
spending time with Barry in those days in that condition

remember for instance how fussy she became about the sequence
of food on her tray how impatient with us for
our trespasses and violations how adamant that we look forward
for instance and not back at her how she would
say stop holding my hand and saying you love me
you have work to do o she was almost impossible
and certainly incoherent and demented in her obsession with law
and procedure fussy impatient imperious I do not forget being
scolded reamed out put in my place for having somehow
failed to do what the ‘law and the prophets’ demand

Barbara beach alter in the days before hospice in the
nursing home and hospital and even if we are honest
in the final years of her life found herself caught
up in the rigidity of her anxious desire to be
faithful to the laws and commandments of her life and
that made her at times extremely demanding to be with

amen and the epistemological confusion of course the clash between
her reality and ours it was all an ordeal for
her and for those of us who kept her company

and yet and yet through it all and now as
that ordeal for her is no longer paramount as she
dances in heaven all the wrinkles and discomfort of her
life removed and forgiven Barbara Beach Alter kept the faith
living in the midst such that those who cared for
her most intimately the strangers all professed your mother blessed
us


Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.



So, brother and sister, here are my thoughts about the memorial service(s).
Let’s find a time when we three can be present; that’s the most important thing.  My life is currently the least constrained by agenda and schedule.  And then the grandchildren, recognizing that Jamie may not be able to come.  So, our work is to find our when our kids are able to come. Bett and I are exploring that with our three, each of whom has some constraint: Emily, the cost; Thomasin, the piebaking demands, Aaron school.  But we are flexible.

Much love.

John



Walking in my mother’s wake today some trees
a gentle breeze some dogs a little boy
the neighborhood and I took joy from interaction

we are at best a fraction in love’s
calculation after all heaven I realize is not
above or below cannot be taught comes naturally

as death does walking in my mother’s wake
I found new allies learned yet again not
to take myself too seriously to be caught

off guard as a matter of principle and
not to insist that I understand but live
in the midst of forgiveness


in my mother’s wake I am reading these books for
some way to continue to knock on her door Wendell
Berry he can tell me some things and William Blake
he can take me closer and I remember she described
me once as an unused Jewish liberal so I am
reading about protestant liberalism but ham that I am also
reading Carl Hiassen’s Bad Monkey and Quo Vadimus that my
daughter left behind and mythologically Reflections from yale divinity school
no fooling Denise Levertov David Sobel Galway Kinnell’s translation of
Rilke some wake
 
November 11

Matthew 25:1-13
Jesus said, "Then the kingdom of heaven will be like this. Ten bridesmaids took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. When the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them; but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, all of them became drowsy and slept. But at midnight there was a shout, 'Look! Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.' Then all those bridesmaids got up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' But the wise replied, 'No! there will not be enough for you and for us; you had better go to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.' And while they went to buy it, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went with him into the wedding banquet; and the door was shut. Later the other bridesmaids came also, saying, 'Lord, lord, open to us.' But he replied, 'Truly I tell you, I do not know you.' Keep awake therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour."

this morning in the wee hours my mother died one
of the wise bridesmaids whose lamp to the end was
full she carried always the flask of oil that is
joy that is the love of the kingdom of heaven
and of the bridegroom a flask always replenished by prayer
by devotion by a humble courageous living in the midst

she expected every day the bridegroom to come in other
words and she was also one who would never refuse
to share even the last drop with somebody in need

and at the end it is so clear the door
into the banquet hall was not closed to her as
it is not closed to any one of us foolishness
is to believe otherwise to believe that the bridegroom will
not come today in the early morning in the wee
hours that is when he comes in the midst of
other plans is when he comes even when we are
doing what we assume to be good work when we
are doing what gives us pleasure our duty joy comes
then unsummoned unpredictable random even according to all our best
laid plans my mother loved so many things her pleasure
included dancing late in her life terminally unsteady she invented
what we loved to urge her to do namely the
sitting jig and we grew up with images of her
Isadora Duncan dancing with white scarves in an enchanted forest

Barbara Beach Alter aka Barry aka dadima bari nani aunt
and daughter wife missionary is now I know dancing a
rollicking boisterous jig on the shores of a lake that
is as her grandson once confided to her god in
liquid form spilly Beach of course also dyslexic executive function
compromised she was but one who loved to be always
in the midst surrounded by loved ones some of them
absolute strangers she shared her oil because for her it
came welling up from an inexhaustible source a deep eternal
well of such illumination and laughter such giddy divine chuckles

for her there was to be no exclusion she would
not find the awful idea of being one of the
foolish applicable to anybody but happily she welcomed into her
midst so many it is hard to imagine how many

so there she is now a bridesmaid dancing for joy
in such elegant clothing with such perpetual brightness

amen hallelujah rejoice


sometimes I think she pulled us all out of the
magic hat sometimes I think she knit us all into
one of her theologically impossible sweaters and then with a
wink she passes through the eye of the needle and
is gone and we are left to play in her
honor endless hands of solitaire sometimes I think we are
no more than the hermeneutics of her life the epistemology
artless she was not her heart like one of those
magical meals for her then a doxology praise then praise
she knows salvation

what is a life’s work it is like a landscape
dotted with oases and gardens for the thirsty and the
lost it is like scraping through dry barren ground and
finding there suddenly not only the theology of paradise but
such seeds your hands ache to begin the planting what
is a life’s work what has been shut for too
long opens what has been shut for too long opens

a life’s work renews itself then with death the kernel
of hope that dies in springtime sprouting is what a
life’s work becomes
 
November 12

John 21:15-17
When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my lambs." A second time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Tend my sheep." He said to him the third time, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, "Do you love me?" And he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep.

I know my mother very much enjoyed having breakfast with
god and that the meals of her nursing home drove
her nearly crazy and that when at last she found
hospice o she again could imagine the feast of heaven
at which Jesus breaks bread with us and speaks with
such clarity do you love me more than these I
know it was questions as simple and overwhelming as this
that dominated her final days do you love me love
being  one of the last five words she attempted to
speak do you love me she wrestled in her last
months with epistemology and psychology and theology and all had
to do with whether she could answer unequivocally you know
that I love you and that she could say of
her life that she had broken bread with god we
all remember in her life those moments when there was
a great gladness an innocent acceptance of what lay immediately
in her presence now those months in the nursing home
tormented her in precisely this fashion that it was hard
to accept to be in the midst of such mediocrity
and woe to be innocent and accepting but now praise
god there she is a happy guest at the great
feast and we left behind bereft can acknowledge that she
loved god in her own fashion as best she possibly
could and do you remember being with her there in
hospital or nursing home and she commanding us to move
beyond holding her hand and saying we loved her and
to feed the sheep to do that work which will
make of this earth this here and now an outstation
of heaven Barbara Beach Alter loved god in her own
fashion as best she possibly could we remember that and
that memory is today like a great network a web
of love and inspiration o we would gladly one more
time hold her hand and say I love you but
we know also clearly I think today what the work
is to love our neighbor as ourselves to work for
peace and justice I think of my sister with her
colleagues in WEIGO and how her sisters have understood her
grief  let us break our fast together then glad for
the worldwide web that in these days is reading the
gospel of the life of Barbara Beach Alter praise god


feed
tend
feed
in exchange for his three denials Peter is given three imperative verbs
feed
tend
feed
this is the commission Jesus after breakfast on the shore of the sea of Galilee gives to Peter
twice he says feed
in the commonwealth of Massachusetts 700,000 people are hungry
1 in 6 americans are hungry
living in uncertainty about their daily bread
more than 18,000,000 in Africa
842,000,000 around the world go to bed hungry


Marty and Tom
The thinking about the memorial service is taking this slow and cautious turn, namely that we have three services (at least), one in Sudbury, one in New Haven (allowing Stan and Chuck and others to come) at First Presbyterian (with Blair Moffett we hope), and of course one in India.
The date frame appears to be somewhere between December 17 and 20, unless you have other thoughts.
The actual cremation happens tomorrow.  Lincoln, Bett, Alexis and I will attend, and then of course there is In the Midst on Friday.
Love you more than tongue can tell.
John


the thing with a life well lived is that many
people have partaken the way let’s say a river moves
down through any number of different lives all the time
sedulously seeking the shortest path to the sea to steal
a line from somebody or other meandering a watershed within
which so many of us find a way to live
our own lives nourished and for each of us the
river distinct and different white water the slow fertile meander
the delta and we say to each other this is
the composite river


sometimes I feel like a sleepwalker trying to run a
marathon sometimes I feel like a speedbump in a blizzard

an arrow in a wind tunnel sometimes I feel like

a hazard sign in an old age home sometimes I
feel like a tyrannosaurus rex trying to ride a tricycle

and sometimes those are the good days when identity is
strong like an icicle in a heat wave is strong

I try to read wisdom literature at happy hour scotch
and Solomon can’t go wrong I think and sometimes I

feel like crying
 
November 13

four days ago we were left alone there with your
body after your breathing ceased and the proud stubborn beating
of your heart and in those four days beloved mother
so much I would love to say to you and
share the antics of the squirrel late leaves on the
neighborhood trees music Orion the network the atlas of love
your life has left behind and all the words we
are the gospel of today and I would sit with
you there then in silence as I sit now four
days later vigilant insomniac aware that the kingdom of heaven
is not more complicated than singing than love than dancing

we are all dancing the dance lord siva teaches and
the s