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Faera Jan 2017
When people talk about nicotine
why do they only ever talk about the addiction?

why does no one ever
speak
of the choice you made to start
of the goodbye to normal breath where you
didn't find yourself craving for
more

When people talk about alcohol
why do they only ever talk about the hangovers?

why does everyone just
ignore
the infinitely perfect moment
the absurd impossibility of the existence of a time
outside of childhood where you can dwell
in blissful
ignorance

When peole talk about writing
why do they only ever talk about the worlds inside your head?

why does someone somewhere
always
pretend away the slow deterioration
pretend the pros outweigh the cons of voices walking around
dressed up as friends to your fading
sanity

When people talk about love
why do they only ever talk about the heart and blood and soul?

why does anyone even
bother
talking about love in the first place
when all it is is tingling skin and melting bones
complete with the undue thought of
you and
me
Crimsyy Jan 2017
Nicotine*

I write this under a reading light,
my hand a shadow,
moving along the page.
I write this because you
told me I could share,
and because I've never really
shared the words that make
my hands tingle.

I write this because
you are my Toluene -
you stir my mind matter
in ways no one else does.
You make me panic,
then relieved, then okay,
then glad to be yours,
and then...

You turn into my nicotine;
The coldness of my body
not pressed against yours
seeps through my skin,
and the withdrawal symptoms begin.
Atlas Dec 2016
Last night I fell asleep with an empty stomach and hallow eyes
Wishing to live in a different body
Only got 5 hours of sleep
It's strange how the season's effect me so much
Days spent inside this old house are always longer in the winter

I woke up with goosebumps and nicotine eyes
Deciding if waking up today was really worth it
Knowing it would be spent with lonely thoughts and a longing for you to call
But you never do

You are my nicotine, I inhale your words as if I need them to breathe
I should try to quit  
What we are doing to each other, its toxic
And what's so sad is when you finally reply
All I can remember is the high
I swear, loving you will give me cancer
I might add more later but for now I am pretty satisfied
Sethnicity May 2015
She is My cream nicotine
The
Surging through our blues
The fluidity of divinity
Juxtapose
Whoever said love was easy…

Yeah 'Ol Chap, they Sure had it right,
Because no man or lady can ever Subtract
Once their hue has mixed it can never go back.
2 Whipped Cream and Other Delights.

And why would you?
The dregs are bitter,
The milk too sweet.
If you water it down then
All flavor retreats

Life is just better off Bitter-Sweet,
Cream never asks coffee
On how it should mix
Why do we attempt these liquid alchemy tricks?

The intrusion is dilution of the Makers choice
Through imperfection comes the lesson
Learned perception with each sip

The air red dried truth
The
Words stuck to the lips
Tasters Digest the last drink drips
Yet I question why I am so subject
to infusion
Her meaningful quips
Why we attempt these liquid alchemy tricks?

Still I question why I am so subject
to the infusion of Her
Dips
Sometimes I call it Love
Sometimes I call it Quits
For You My Dear

Let's Cheers Another Grip
of
Seared Buds and Belly Aches
and
Lactose Licorice
So
Pour Another! while the Argument still in Air
and
While Dilutions of gratification Grind into Frothy Despair
Final Stanza redacted for more of a cream and grit flavor: "While
My **** and Meatballs Crow in the Cupboard."
Valeria Ariza Oct 2016
In the beautiful sun I breathe, I breathe in the toxins of this horrid pleasure,
knowing it will **** me. knowing I’m not this person, I inhale.
My lungs curse me, my heart breaks.
I relish in this self destruction.
Im hurting.
Im hurting.
Im hurt.
Why, I ask.
Why have I become this way.
Why have I become this person.
Who suffers in silence but can no longer contain it.
My blood runs down my face for all to see.
No one sees.
In all my life I’ve never felt so low.
How do I climb out?
Will I ever?
Why is it so hard to be happy.
How can I reverse the damage done to my heart.
When will this suffering end.
O the waves crash hard washing away my hard work, obliterating my self confidence.
Why is it that I am trying so hard to fight? why can I not just be.
I love my friends. I love my mother. I love my sister. I love my brother.
How do I accept that they love me too?
I miss myself, so full of ambition.
So full of light.
My soft supple lips kiss you lightly inhaling your toxic love
I love you.
I hate you.
My new found friends surround me, support me.
I can't lose them.
I would be devastated.
My heart would shatter into a million pieces, I'd never be able to repair every vessel.
My mind would unravel, my soul would be trapped. And I'd run back to you wrapping myself in your venom blanket.
I'd kiss you.
My lungs would curse me
I'd kiss you
And My heart would bleed
I'd kiss you
And My body would tremble
I'd kiss you
Causing the threads holding me together to tear.
Kiss.
Kiss
Kiss
I love you
*But you taste like ******* ****.
Crimsyy Sep 2016
You are dangerous,
that smile of yours
should be a crime,

The wrists of my mind
carry the bleeding lines,
So please do me a favour;
don't give up on me.

You're my nicotine,
don't give up on me,
You're my nicotine,
don't give up on me,
You're my drug,
my favorite hug...

Anything could happen
but I know,
I'd ache all over again
just to love *you.
the dead bird Aug 2016
my day -
a chaotic
downward spiral
angry, entitled faces
glare at me
expect me to juggle
thirteen flaming tennis *****
while running
full speed ahead
to their every
beck and call

like,
when your computer
gets a virus
and fifty-five million tabs pop up
careening out of control
giving no chance
to even close out of one -
a clusterfuck of stress

when I finally get
my ten-minute break
I sit outside -
alone -
can't deal with
one more ******* person
just let me
smoke my cigarette
calm my anxiety
***** my head back in
in solitude
before walking back
through the gates of hell

don't smoke those,
you're killing yourself.

no
*******
way
I
had
no
idea

do I know you?
you're certainly not family,
nor a friend
definitely not
someone who gives a ****
about my health
or well-being

what if I want
to **** myself?
what if that's
my goal?
who ARE you
to tell me what to do?

maybe,
you think your input
will resonate inside of me
*******, he's right
put down the pack
for good

maybe,
you just want to feel
like you're a good person
boost your ego
thinking
you did something nice
helped
in one way

all you do
is make me want another
leave me the **** alone
a cigarette
is not an open invitation
to talk about my health
to comment on my life
****
off
I don't care what you say
your words
aren't important to me
just like I
am not important to you

mind your own
*******
business
angry, mean, cranky, what-*******-ever people need to learn to keep their mouths shut
Farah May 2016
I hold you in my lungs like nicotine
avery james Apr 2016
he was my nicotine
and ******* was i addicted
but as good as i
thought he was
he's turning my lungs to ash
and my words can no
longer get past
my throat.
its time i started
using those
nicotine patches.
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