I don’t think you realize just how much you mean to me, and my biggest fear is that you never will.

I know it seems
Like I'm a
Typical
****-up
Boring
Nerd,
But I'm not;
That's just
My facade for
The real me.

Am I a bad guy if I break the rules
I don’t like being told what not to do
Let me learn … let me experience

Your laws are meaningless to me
I will find the loopholes
I will exploit the flaws in your logic

I can’t make myself not
It’s my compulsion
My need to wear the black hat

I will sneak in and see your secrets
Your protections can’t stop me
I will root you if I desire

“You’re beautiful” I say
For lack of a better word
Because how can I only describe her as so?
She’s what it feels like to feel the sun dance upon your face
The wind gently rustling your hair
The glowing of wood lit aflame
Candles flickering while the windows rattle from wind

She’s the beginning of the Star Wars theme at full blast
Hearing the sound of the TARDIS for the first time in so long
The opening credits of each long-awaited marvel movie
Feeling the magic of reading the first Harry Potter book again
The closing of a finished book, knowing there’s more to come
Rapping every line of Hamilton perfectly

She’s everything pure in the world that brings unbridled joy
And there’s no way that “beautiful” could
EVER
Measure up to that

There was a night
When I stole all the light
From the stars in the sky
As I lit all the candles in my room
I danced to and fro
While the candles burned low
On my precious stolen time
Spent on nothing but Peace
I finished some books
And played with my looks
While I cleaned and I sketched
I thought to myself
What if the world was always this quiet?
So I could steal the hours of the night
Away from those who stole my day

It’s me, the one nerd
Yes, who you used to throw your
hand made paper planes when I was concentrated in the books,
then pass your homework like I was your personal tutor
And made me cry on my way
back to home

It’s me, the fat
Yes, who you did not consider for cheerleading team just
because I was out of shape
And made me cry on my way
back to home

It’s me, the gay
Yes, who you used to beat up in the locker room for being
attracted to the same gender.
And made me cry on my way
back to home.

It’s me, the differently abled
Yes, who you used to punch,
slap, toss
anytime you wanted to do so.
And made me cry on my way
back to home


Listen to this, bully
It came to our mind, many times
to **** ourselves
because of the humiliation and the pain. but at our home door, we stood,
wiped the tears
because can’t show mama
that we were weak
and dad that we couldn’t stand for ourselves.

we did survive through, alive
but with remarks and scars
and with a shattered heart
-ache