Do you know what it’s like,
to finally have your life the way you want it
just to have it torn from your fingers as you scream and cry for help?

What does my life matter to you?
Love, loss, it’s all part of life they say
Why am I in black and blue, red tainting my clothes?
Why can I not dwell in the yellow and light as she did?
Why did he stay in the dark, just as I have?
Can I leave the dark?

What am I supposed to say to his family?
What am I supposed to say to them all?
I can’t let go, and I can’t move on.
And neither should you.

So why do you?
Why do you bury him away and pretend that none of his faults existed?
The boy I knew wasn’t a saint!
Far from it!
He was a messed up, depressed, annoying little *******!
And he was my friend!
I can’t just say goodbye after that.

Mourn, as the hour draws near--
I'll soon hear goodbyes.
Mourn, for the last petal from the dying rose fell.
Mourn, for thy time has come.
Mourn, not but a smile;
not but a tear.

I'll mourn,
requiescat in pacem

Melting and smoky--
like a candle at night,
shining like a sunlight.
Every drop that fell
hurts so bad like a farewell.
But just like a candle at night,
you give hope and dreams
blocking all my internal screams.
'Cause you are my candle at night,
that keeps me cozy and less affright.
I cannot tell how long will you last,
but don't leave me scared and aghast.

Few minutes later here you are,
no longer sparkling; no longer a star.
O what a pain in the eye
as in your light i rely.
Like a candle at night gone in a snap,
maybe I'll end this evening with a nap.

You told me
there was a certain beauty in the never-return —
cherries wither into whispers of smoke,
river shivers upon winter's stroke
sparrows mourn and sing and forget,
how we used to be strangers, lovers, then strangers again
deep in the darkness you stared at me, smiling
with a mouth of pearly teeth
crushing the piling blossoms underneath, saying
I better remember this fading fragrance, and
carry it to your grave,
for this is our last parade.

deprived of a higher purpose

a reason for my meaningless existence

journey of discovery

a break from the mundane

repetitive nature of self-isolation

alone but never lonely

not until she crossed my mind for a final time

and so I awake each afternoon

dreading the coming hours

of mediocre party tricks

all in an effort to waste passing time

ironically the commodity

that everyone runs out of

Sometimes you fail in your life
then
the door shuts , the curtain falls ,  the wind freezes , the water stop altering in different containers . Everything just ends , a complete state of stillness , nothing but just you and your loneliness.
Suddenly,
Out of nowhere you start to realize about ,your mistakes , your deeds , your acts , etc etc. Everything clings your hands and u just want to vanish your existence from here but that too is unavailable for the moment . Nothing works , then , then u start hating yourself , your dilemma grows and screams in each and every cell of your body .  Negativity , Negativity , Negativity

Even though you try to stop this but your efforts become futile . You realize your nature , your feelings , your burns , your stitches , your despairs ,yours regrets , your failures , and what else not !
Flow of sand siezes in your hourglass , you are left alone , no-one is around except your new friend ,loneliness.

The last leaf of your plant welts like your dreary face . You fall apart ,you wither ,  your growth stops .  
But you know what ,  "Mistakes are like gravity , always keeps you down " but up to some extent after that it converts to "FAILURE"

We just need to realize that level  ,  but it ain't that easy my friend.

Sleeping with regrets daily ,
Even I will have a bright future ,
maybe .

How do you **** a life?

But you do it so well
what expertise in
elegies
the choices
tone, words

you mourn too
sweet little nothings
pitiful stare
buttery
and nice
share a piece of cake
so sugary

and cherry on top
all the facts,
I deleted from my mind
restored back
It is the rush of feelings
too many at the same time

You have squeezed my
Soul out
I am empty
Inside out,
executed in precision
I can never mend
my pieces back.

I am short of breath,
You did it so well,
or am I short of me?

Cold empty chrysalis
And pig slop -

Suckle the hearthfire **** of mother earth
we praise ourselves on being diverse
but we are the biodiversity,
spread so thin we can't nourish the hungry and thirsty.

The pale moon shines on a world somehow even colder,
we consume the birthday cake leaving only the smoulders,

Built monuments and towers to a false kind of power,
mycellium clouds bloom come to consume what is ours,
The midnight clock ticking to doomsday, now minutes from hours.

We believe that we control the elements, but loom they,
The ancient forces come soon to smother and cover in dirt
this mausoleum soon to be crematorium Earth.

And when the smoke clears and lifted is the haze
I dream of a peace on Earth without the human race.