I am a terrible person for what I know I have to do
But I am only human and deserve to be happy too
I am used to depression
It's been a long time friend
But as long as we are together it surely won't end
Not because you abuse my body or my feelings
But because you aren't helping the **** with which I'm dealing
You may be sweet but you make me feel sour
Quiet because it is easier to cower
Than to pick a fight that is impossible to win
Aggravation works it's way further under my skin
You are supposed to have my back
Clearly you do not
You throw me under the bus without a second thought
I wish I would have waited before rushing in headfirst
It seems with bad judgement I am hopelessly cursed
An impatient creature
Now both are paying the price
Because I am too foolish to stop and think twice
I know you will be angry
You have every right to be
But I have faith that in the future you will see
That this decision really is for the best
It only gets harder the more time we invest
I know deep cuts now are engraved on your soul
It wasn't my intention to carve out a hole
But attraction has slowly shifted to dismay
"I love you" is a phrase that toward you I'll never say
The way I looked at you changed after our first fight
And has only grown worse since that night
I held on hoping situation would improve
And one day of your actions I'd actually approve
But our relationship dies a little bit more
Each time you do something that I deplore
My eyes are finally open to who you really are
Too bad to see it took getting this far
This whole time I've held on wishfully thinking
It will get better but problems aren't shrinking
I'm ready for this to be over
Yearn to be free
Keeping your emotions safe is mentally draining me
A grave is already dug now it is time to lay to rest
The remains of our romance
Suffered cardiac arrest
You can yell if you want to or call me names
Whatever it takes to break these heavy chains
I have bottled up the truth for far too long
Pretending it might work despite it feeling wrong
I ignored my instinct in fear of loneliness
But these gnawing doubts have gotten too large to repress
Obnoxious ocurrences are a routine indication
Of our incompatibility
Leading to irritation
It seems we are both holding the other down
Not only do you not make me smile
You widen my frown
I am fully aware I frustrate you as well
Without saying one word by your expression I can tell
I don't want to be the source of your despair
But the weight of commitment has become too much to bear
I have wanted to cry out loud but kept my mouth closed
But these silenced concerns beg to be exposed
I think the moment is past overdue for you to hear
The honest thoughts crowding my skull no matter how severe
I apologize for hurting you
Hope you believe it wasn't my plan
I would stick it out awhile longer but am not sure that I can

Intent to fill your heart with all of me
Not knowing i'm the thorns of the rose not the petals

Intent to fill your heart with love
But only made you bleed and be left with scars.

For so much the eyes can see
Naked is bestowed only for the body
Not so well known but being naked is also bestowed from deep with in
No secrets to hide
No intentions that are not shown
And open feelings

As two souls unite, two must require to be naked
As two souls unite, no unknown feelings or thoughts should hide
As two worlds collide unity is only to provide

Insecurities must be stripped away
Only a touch of your trust is required

Worries be removed so is doubt
A touch of your assurance is required

Past be removed and accepted
A touch of your settlement

Clothes resemble the feelings we hold
For two souls unite no clothes be worn
And the two worlds provide what is required for them to unite.

Idle days thinking...

All the time we
Make mistakes.

Time heals us.
Is it true?
Roses have thorns.
Evidentially the same applies to time.
Doesn't it?

you will never respect me
you do not know how to
i threw respect out the window
along with my dignity
along with my decency
the night that i left my prince charming
to spend a night
being the ***** in the wolf's den
you will never respect me
so i cannot respect you
you were never more than a monumental mistake
you were never my friend

I wish I was a character in a book, all the time in the world to say the perfect thing, never stumbling over the right words or misinterpreting thoughts portraying a much more bitter taste than I imagined. In books, I can delete spoken words, alter past conversations, toying with an exchange so I always have what I want slide right off the tongue but much to my eternal dismay I am not in a book, I cannot simply backspace the wrong words, they are stained into the fabric of reality.

A.C.

Don't worry about where
you'll go in life
or how much you do.
You don't need that much pressure.
You're barely 22!
But if you are, it's okay.
Because I know you'll go far.
The key is to go with the flow
for as long as you can.
But some day you'll fall.
In more ways than one.
But you'll always get up
Because there's more work to be done.
But just because there's more work
Doesn't mean there has to be any less fun.
Sometimes, though, it may be hard to find.
Some days, all you'll want to do is run.
You won't care where.
You'll just want to go away.
But away is a scary place.
A place with no rules.
Of course, that's why some people stay.
Whatever you decide,
it's your decision to make.
And don't be embarrassed
when you make a mistake.
Because you don't know what you don't know.
And at first, you won't know a lot.
But you'll get there.
At least, I think you have a good shot. 😉