I just want to make this clear and change their perspective,
I'm not perfect
I make mistakes
but I always try to correct them
Push forward
Never forget them
my mother told me
I was an accident so a
mistake turned into a blessing
i used to wish I could be less human
For years I ran away from my reflection but lifes a full circle
so it's you I ended up pursuing sometimes my rhymes maybe confusing so translation
I ended up being the same man i went to school with
I'm not perfect
but at first I wanted to be
Now i strive to just be a better me

*** is good for health,
I was told
I remember the other night in the room
Alone with Philomena since noon
She allured me with her inflated 'balloon'
and I couldn't resist dancing to her tune.
For the first time fantasies met reality, I smiled

People get encountered with the Holy Spirit
But mine?
Mine was with a woman I had no license to touch.
My sulky dependency on God was laid to rest
As soon as I got Philomena undressed
Now, we were going to have more than just glimpse
We tossed and turned in our plight
Our mission was to satisfy ourselves until the sun shows light

I turned her around, sat up and kissed her
With delight, I made her ride on top of me
Moaning and whimpering was our ****** instrument
A frictional force was created
from each of our bodies as the hours passed by
Lying still, my breath caught up in my chest
It seemed like the voyage
had taken forever
and also just begun – all at the same time

After the 'genging and banging' had settled
and Philomena was deeply asleep,
My anxieties were also put to sleep
I opened the window,
Turned to Philomena, and in sorrow, gripped the pillow.
The stupidity in me had traded my dignity for shame before my God

It was the night I cursed myself
What to tell my creator is still left scrambled
*** is good for health, I was told
Having it with the right person
And at the right time, I never listened
Science and reasoning taught me the former
But the Bible... Jesus prefers the latter

don't you dare think i didn't try my best
if you want we can put that to the test
i'm running out of options, help me out
i'm about to leave, never be found
i know the worst is yet to come
and when it does it won't be fun
so farewell in advance
don't hold my hand, not again

don't run too fast, just wait your turn
don't fly too far, you might get burned
no going back, you can't return

i think there's something wrong with the air
i guess that's how it is when you're not there
a toast to all the words i've never said
if i'm being honest. how worse can it get
but i never learn, i fanned the flames
i sat and burned, it's all the same
i shouldn't care that you're out there
with somebody else, cause that's unfair
need nobody else, just myself, nothing to share

i ran too fast, i lost my turn
i flew too far, and now i'm burned
i can't go back, i can't return

i thought that i could miss it
but i heard the sound
stomach falling through me
because i turned around

i know that you can feel me
burning through your ground
i didn't know that i hurt you
until i saw you drown

i feel every muscle when you glare at me
i painted you a picture
but it's not what you see
now i know
i was the monster
i'm probably diseased
i thought it was love language
i thought you'd admire me

i could say i'm sorry but that won't bring it back
so maybe i can lock myself inside my head
fill the holes and close the cracks

maybe it's true
i'm delusional, obsessed, deranged and aloof
but i finally realise and sometimes accept
that i am
nothing to you

A final poem.
Of you and me,
Of what we were
And could not be,
My heart is heavy
My soul is free.

I love you,
I miss you,
The End.

You can say sorry
But it's better to
Change the story

Why is it so easy
Easy to fall
For the wrong one
Yet, there are many
Who are right for me?
Why do I always fall
Fall for the wrong one?