Feeling my childhood vibes
The old feelings of love
Dancing in my living room
Never knowing I would be brought to a depressing doom
Wish I could watch the sky slowly be painted into a dark lovely blue
Wish I could be a girl again
Instead of a heartbroken young woman

Wish you could fix everything
Give me back those country skies
My old bike
The one I would use to travel across my own world
The one world I used to love

Oh I don't know how to cope with life
When I don't know any of trees I used to see every day
Or the sweet brown eyes that I used to be greeted with each morning with panting
Lay here now with a few more bucks in my pocket yet
And I'd rather to be begging for it

unexpected, although assuming
breathe, self -- he’s two feet away
and gazing at you
don’t look, don’t look, don’t look

heart pounding, walk past, stride gracefully
great job -- so far, so good
pretend you’re busy, smile
laugh if you must, do not look

i failed, he looked back
we caught each other
fixed eyes at one another
what is he thinking? should i smile?

tick tock tick -- the end

You always show up too early
Walking in when the room is still untidy
You come in and find me
Taking them one by one the people I kept afar
The ones I always have good intentions for
But never seem to know how to relate

You were one of them
Always on your feet or knees
Didn't care if you ever did blend
Only the master to please
His flock to tend

It seems the dark saw my game
And played a counter before I could claim
The prize of knowing you past the plains
But if I knew better it wouldn't be another claim
So that when the hand came and out your flame
I would smile and shake my head picturing how it all played
Out, but now all I have is pain

Love the ones you can now
Before they wander too far and can't be found
Then your grief will compound
Because they didn't have any time with you around
RIP AUNTIE JANE

I quite missed you today, you know.
For each time in my life,
Today felt like the hardest part,
Where missing you is the worse,
Worse than the time where you left me.
I, sometimes when blinking my eyes,
Or looking at every direction just to clear my mind
Because sometimes I think,
What if maybe my heart is tired too?
Flipping the pages of the memories,
And tried to stay hard and strong for every picture,
That I remembered,
That already drawn permanently inside my brain.
It just, I want to say I missed you
And today is the worse.
And I might say the same thing for tomorrow
That every day, it was becoming harder and harder
To breathe without feeling chocked
To blink without a tear peeking in the corner of my eyes
To be able to say that I need the half of me,
One day, after the distance and storms aren’t exist anymore.

You were a star
        That was plain
                To see.
                    But
He never caught
                 Sight
Of you shooting
              Across his skies.

It's been 202 days
Since the last time we're together
202 days since I last held you,
202 days since we last kissed,
And everyday that I wasn't with you
Is everyday I missed you
Because I love you.

202 days and counting...

draining life
seeding life
spill from life
and let your husk spoil
dust and the ether
your matter degrade
your scribe and ghost disperse

scatter your brain ;
your memory taught
nutrate the soil ;
the soil of what's to be
and learn a new form

in simple
return



© Jon Thenes 2011

smoke-sheet eyes, you
questioned me behind
a mesh divider
all my hot hard "no"s
all my parting throes -
terrifying, endless, and gaping.

you questioned,
and never answered
you opened me like
an underripe fig
I didn't understand
how a person
could pull me apart
too soon.
Now I mould
over, I bruise
and hug the wet,
black ground.