gone too soon—
you have lived all your life
making others happy.

now that I think about it
what a selfless person you are
always putting others needs before yours

you believed in me
more than i ever believed in myself
you were the one
who pushed me to reach my full potential

i wouldn't be the person i am today
and still be the shy girl I used to be  
if I didn’t have you in my life

i thank you for everything
you’re in a good place now
and you will surely be missed.

the train leaves at 5, but
you won’t be there like you said.

you’ll be finishing off other people’s beers
at a sport’s bar in Michigan,
fighting off the urge to call your first love,
shoving the drooling boys off your arm,
hiccupping and cursing and crying
you whisper your worst fears in stranger’s ears,
this is therapy, you think,
this is love.

the police had to give you a ride home,
and even though you still make jokes,
you’re quieter than you were before.

by the time you’re left sitting on your porch,
the world is spinning, and you can’t find the key,
and feeling up your pockets and the floor,
you start to feel frustration swell like acceptance,
like finally understanding that this is it,
this is it.

it’s 3 in the morning, and
the train left ten hours ago, and
once you find the key
you slip inside
you will curl up on the rug
let it scratch your cheek
and you cry because you stopped trying to talk to him
and you cry because you don’t think he cared
and then you pass out, with clenched fists and hair still pinned up
and you forgot about the train
i wish you never had to wake up to the realization
that you missed it